Years of Burden
by Polyplectron
Summary: Death always falls short for Severus Snape leaving him to live a life filled with burden and regret. A survivor by blood and callous by nature he continues on out of loyalty and morbid devotion. Dumbledore's behest leaves Snape battling with his own mortality and history will begin to repeat itself as Hermione Granger begins a new, dangerous obsession. Severus & Hermione SSHG HGSS
1. Enough Is Enough

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Years of Burden explores the ancestral origins, life decisions and obsession of Severus Snape. The story starts at a pivotal point in his life in 1996 when Dumbledore has instructed him that should the opportunity arise he must be the one to kill him. Snape falls into a spiral of drug and potion abuse, internal dilemma, moral corruption and temptation. Can anyone bring him from the depths of despair?**

**The story also follows Hermione Granger's struggles and growing attracting to her Professor. In light of his allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix she is forced to see him in a new light. Snape's enigmatic and sporadic disposition entices an intellectual interest and physical attraction despite Hermione's own protests (She does NOT like Professor Snape) and with Harry and Ron otherwise occupied her compulsion to find answers no matter the cost is left to fester.**

**Warnings – swearing, drug and alcohol abuse, murder, betrayal, assassination attempts, sexual intimacy, physical and sexual abuse.**

**Hope you enjoy the story.**

**Polyplectron**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

_Enough is Enough_

~~oOo~~

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Albus Dumbledore peered warily over his half-moon spectacles with an earnest look of concern etched across his face. After all, it was a Headmaster's duty to ensure that all staff members were setting fine examples for impressionable students and slouching over a dinner plate, playing with one's food, did not constitute well-mannered behaviour.

"Eat Severus"

It was a simple enough request but it elicited a negative response from his companion. Severus Snape had no intention on eating or heeding the Headmaster's request so instead he continued to push cuts of meat around his plate and slowly rub his temple with a faltering hand. The usually authoritative man looked tired and sickly. His thick hair hung slick down either side of his face creating black steel curtains containing an impenetrable scowl. The expression was half hearted for he found that this evening his energy was quickly escaping him but appearances still had to be kept.

"Must you constantly order me about?" Snape hissed. He was finding it difficult to keep a hold of his fork and placed it down gently with a shaky hand. The tremors were the unfortunate side effects of weeks abusing potions and mixing concoctions instead of retaining a healthy diet and sleeping regularly. When one bounces back and forth between teaching hoards of rowdy students and participating in Death Eater raids there is little time for a decent nap or nutrient rich meal. A balanced lifestyle was a luxury that Snape had yet to experience and even if he had the time to sit down to a meal (like now for instance) he could never bring himself to eat. Food was like ash.

"It would not be necessary Severus if you were to tend to your more primal needs properly," castigated Dumbledore, "How it worries me, that you have been helping yourself to Poppy's storages for weeks now instead of attending meals regularly. You cannot sustain yourself on pepper up potions. Enough is enough."

Enough was enough it seemed as Snape released a string of obscenities internally whilst being mindful of his companies occlumency capabilities. The Headmaster's reprimand was the final straw on a gruesome week and Snape decided he would be better suited to taking his meals in isolation. Slowly he summoned what little energy he had left and thrust himself off the chair to stand, hands flat on the table to support his weight, the chair teetered and slam backwards against the stone floor. The sound drowned out amongst the clamour and chatter of the Great Hall, much to Snape's pleasure and he turned to glare at Dumbledore, raising to his full height and regaining what usual fearsomeness he exuded.

"Yes Albus," he whispered so as not to draw attention to his departure, Snape was not one for theatrics and he detested scene causing, "enough is enough. Seeing as my eating ritual does bother you so from now on I shall take meals in my quarters, out of sight and out of mind, and as for Poppy's potions I created the majority so my entitlement to a vial or six is self-explanatory. It is not as if I have the _time_ to make my _own._ Good evening." Snape turned and stormed out of the Great Hall, his dark cape billowing angrily in his wake. The bitterness he radiated made a startling impression on the students he past, causing them to shy away or frown angrily at him, after all the dreaded Bat of the Dungeons and many a student had cause for feeling dispassionately towards him.

The Headmaster stared after his colleague with a small frown of annoyance replacing his look of concern. Once Snape had disappeared through the Great Hall doors Dumbledore released a terse sigh and turned his attention towards the charcoaled remains of roasted poultry. At the sight he absent-mindedly he cradled his blackened hand under the table, it was as dark and unfeeling as the remains on his plate and the thought made him feel slightly ill. Reorganising his thoughts he mused on his fleeing colleague, Snape was a very stubborn man, almost as stubborn as himself, but Dumbledore knew when to put the priorities of the wizarding world over self-pity and laziness. Snape had never been able to see the 'big picture'.

_How can he ever expect to be useful to me if he keeps putting his own health in danger?_

Despite the series of events that brought Snape and Dumbledore together, the aging Headmaster had come to care for the younger man over the years on some level. Through pity or sympathy he could no longer tell but to put it in simple terms, one would describe there relationship as one of unquestionable loyalty. Neither particularly liked the other but they had an ultimate trust in one another, regardless of their very different reasons for defeating their common enemy. Dumbledore was still very aware of the reasons why Snape was fighting for the light and risking his life in the darkness and in all honesty the older man wondered if the Snape's allegiance to Lily Potter was still paramount. Without her influence over Snape, where would the bitter man be this very day? In Azkaban? Dead? Snape was positively a catalyst for the prophecy coming to fruition and his involvement for success was integral.

What a heavy burden to have on one's shoulders.

Dumbledore knew all too well the weight of life's burdens but it was unwise to dwell. Never the less the newly appointed Defence Against the Dark Art's teacher was still the same selfish little boy who had entered this very hall twenty five years ago. A little boy who had his heart set on being broken, a startling passion for dark arts and now was cursed to suffer the rest of his life because of it. Dumbledore hummed in deep thought,

_Severus never did say thank you for being granted the position_

Snape had only been asking for the position his entire teaching career and Dumbledore had a plethora of request letters in his office to prove it. Dumbledore's constant rejection was based on two dominating factors. Firstly the position was cursed allowing no DADA teacher to teach a second year, he could not risk losing Snape over something so trivial as teaching a subject and secondly, the Slytherin was too obsessed with Dark Magic and his exposure to it might unearth his old passions for powerful and unstable magic.

Dumbledore was not foreign to Snape's youthful fascination for powerful magic he himself once became lost in an endless conquest for eternal power but only ended up hurting those he claimed dearest, just as Snape had. Not many knew his involvement with Gellert Grindlewald expanded that beyond what can be found on a chocolate frog card. A forbidden love and ancient power had been chaotically intertwined. Ultimately his youthful admiration and infatuation with his old friend had been his undoing. Grindlewald's hunger for the Dark Arts and the Deathly Hallows had resulted in his imprisonment in Nurmengard an action which had broken and hardened Dumbledore's heart. Never would he allow himself to truly love again.

Raising his golden goblet of fine sherry to his lips, Dumbledore closed his eyes and took a long sip. The flavour was slightly bitter but the taste of the brew was the furthest thing from his mind. His dead man's hand brought his dangling mortality to the forefront of thought and his past present and future hung in the balance. Aberforth hated him, Gellert was incarcerated, Tom was at large, Harry was not yet ready to fulfil his destiny and Severus was falling apart at the seams. That was the price of power; utter bedlam. In the end Dumbledore had gotten what he wanted and at the end of his long life, that achievement alone was enough, the Elder wand, the Resurrection stone and the Invisibility cloak, all three Deathly Hallows were in reaching distance and in his command. Everything he and Gellert had ever wanted_._For years against his better judgement he had wished to visit Gellert one last time, for reasons only a rational person would describe as selfish and now that he was reaching an end perhaps it was time to grant himself one last request.

To his side Minerva McGonagall bristled at Professor Snape's abrupt departure and eyed Albus suspiciously. She was not aware of Snape's decline in health and it would hardly bother her if she had noticed. McGonagall was much more concerned by the injustices delivered to her house. The beginning of the term had begun with a whirlwind of unjust detentions and humourless attacks on her Gryffindor students and to say she was very unimpressed was putting it mildly. At the forefront of the onslaught was Professor Snape who was taking his personal vendetta against Gryffindor to new extremes. And now, when the future was very bleak and uncertain, was not the time to berate the already anxiety ridden students. Once Dumbledore finished a savouring sip she addressed him with a bursque clearing of the throat.

"Albus, we have to discuss Severus's behaviour as of late," seethed McGonagall, "Are you aware he has deducted over two hundred points from Gryffindor this week alone? It's preposterous and utterly ruthless! I am all for a healthy bout of house rivalry but I am afraid he is taking it well over respected boundaries."

The feather in her hat kinked roughly as she tossed her head back and forth animatedly, emphasising her frustration at her colleague. Dumbledore nodded vaguely, placing his goblet on the table and resting his head on half knitted fingers. The cursed hand felt little pain but was incredibly awkward. Discussing Snape's behaviour was something that should be unnecessary; he was Head of Slytherin, a teacher for over a decade and a respected individual. The fact that he was being more than unfair than he usually was should not arouse the distaste of Minerva of all people; usually she revelled at a challenge.

"Minerva, I am fully aware of Severus deducting of house points and I will rectify the problem with all due reason but perhaps the matter that needs discussing is Severus himself. Poppy has informed me that Severus has been pilfering potions from the Hospital Wing instead of attending meals and I dare say it has been having some dominating influence on his work ethic. I have already expressed my concerns with him and did not sit well at all."

A small itch enticed Dumbledore to reach towards his chin and tug softly at the beard hair; in the process he placed his darkened hand on the table, a sight that was relatively new to the staff.

"Yes I saw him leave that is why I- Albus what in Goddrick's name happened to your hand!"

McGonagall sucked in a harsh breath at the sight of Dumbledore's blackened hand.

"What have you done to yourself?"

"Nothing too serious but unfortunately this little ailment of mine is resistant to even the finest concealment charms. But fear not Minerva, it is nothing to feel so distraught over." His lie did nothing to take the fire out of his colleague's eyes but McGonogall said nothing of the matter.

With a pop, the deserts materialised on the table and Dumbledore's mood instantly lightened. Calling himself sentimental, he eagerly grabbed a clean spoon and scooped into the steaming pudding. He rested his dead hand on his golden goblet and admired the turquoise stones lining its curves. It was his favourite goblet, given to him by Gellert, it has belonged to a famous wizard lord, the name had escaped him over time but that was irrelevant for the goblet only held sentimental value to him now. Knowing that he had still managed to keep it after all these years seemed to soothe him and remind him of happier days. McGonagall responded with a tight lipped smile and a deep frown as she turned her attention to a small lump of coconut slice that had also materialised.

"You have to put an end to this Albus," she chewed, "In all your wisdom you choose to keep the staff and myself in the dark on important matters but when it comes to the students I will not stand for a blind eye. I understand that Severus has been undergoing missions on behalf of the Order and perhaps it has been taking a toll on him mentally and physically, one can only imagine what it is like to stand before He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and return to live another day but we must not lose our heads. The students must not see us in disarray, only through solidarity can we truly triumphant and I will tell you now, a snake stirring kittens makes for one ferocious mother cat. I will get my claws out Albus. No longer will I tolerate his abuse of staff privileges, or his abuse of my students or his ridiculous reasons for deducting points. Severus needs some bloody good counselling!"

Savouring the satisfaction of bread and butter pudding in his mouth, Dumbledore neglected to respond straight away. Instead he looked out over the sea of students. Happily eating their Sunday night feast and swapping important gossip of the week amongst themselves. Some of the older girls at the Slytherin table giggled at a group of boys at the Ravenclaw table. A few Hufflepuffs were sitting at Gryffindor table discussing the upcoming Quidditch match and a few younger Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's were in a heated discussion with the Fat Friar who looked nothing but amused.

_To be young again. . ._

Looking closer he could see Harry Potter. The young lad was laughing at Ronald Weasley whose mouth was overflowing with food and apparently finding it difficult to swallow. Next to him sat a very unimpressed Hermione Granger and embarrassed Ginny Weasley. It was hard to believe that these were the same students who battled mountain trolls, defeated basilisks and cursed diaries, conquered dragons and battled Death Eaters within the Ministry's walls. It was even harder to believe that these where the students that held the fate of the wizarding world in their hands.

Dumbledore broke into a sad smile. Harry will carry an even greater burden once he passes on. The boy will blame himself, so much for his impending death, that it may derail him from completing his destiny and all Dumbledore could do until his demise was condition and train the boy into overcoming personal woes for the greater good, just as he has Snape. Harry was fortunate that he had friends and family that will support him through this terrible transition but for Harry Potter the worst is only yet to come.

~O~

Hermione Granger felt eyes upon her and looked up at the head table. The Headmaster was staring at her, the familiar twinkle absent from his eyes. He looked sad. Slowly he tilted his head forward in acknowledgement to her. Next to him Professor McGonagall seemed to be bitting his ear off for some reason because she was chatting away animatedly and gesturing broadly with her right arm towards the Great Hall entrance. The Head of House must have been having a disagreement about Professor Snape because moments before he brushed angrily past Gryffindor table. Hermione smiled sympathetically at Dumbledore and he returned the gesture with pinched lips. Satisfied she turned back to the dinner table, Ron was choking on his food and she was far from impressed. Hermione now understood why the Headmaster returned her gesture of sympathy. Obviously Ron's immature behaviour had now become a spectacle and judging by the Slytherin's mocking them nearby they had quite the audience.

"Will you stop eating!" she scalded the red headed boy, "you are making such a scene, it is embarrassing just sitting here with you!"

"Mrph ermegerd!"

"Ugh! Disgusting, Ron you're getting food everywhere!" cried Ginny, who banished potato from her robe with a flick of her wand.

"Harry stop laughing this instant! This was hardly the brightest idea you both have ever had and now he is choking. Do you both honestly think Ginny and I are impressed by this? Seeing how many potatoes he can fit in his mouth?"

"You are both potato heads and I am embarrassed to call you my brother Ron." clipped Ginny and Hermione agreed with her motion by crossing her arms in annoyance.

Harry slapped Ron on the back roughly and Ron sucked in a harsh breathe, he coughed and slowly regained his breath. Ginny and Hermione sat rigid with arms crossed over their chests. Looking triumphant at his effort Ron turned to Harry and ignored Ginny and Hermione's death stares.

"Yes! Five baked potatoes Harry you owe me one galleon."

"One galleon?!" asked Harry incredulously, "I thought we agreed four sickles? That's a long stretch mate."

"Blimey, I remember one galleon!"

"One galleon for attempted suicide via potato are you both mental?" interjected Hermione.

"Calm down 'Mione," said Ron brushing down the front of his robes, "it was only a bit of fun, can't blame us for wanting to have a little bit of fun."

"Ron your idea of fun is vile" she snipped. "Now a poor house elf has to come and clean up all the mess you made" she indicated to the chunks of food now covering the table.

Scoffing, Ron used to sleeve of his robe to wipe his face, "Loosen up Hermione, you need to relax"

"_Loosen up?,_" she scoffed, "I'll loosen up once dinner returns to some form of normalcy, just once I'd like to enjoy dinner with my friends without being showered in food or publically embarrassed!"

The girls began to banish the mess from the table to save the house elves the trouble, an act that caused sensational laughter from the Slytherin table. Embarrassed, Hermione moved to pack away her Numerology and Grammatica text book that she had been revising under the table but was horrified to find potato smeared all over the front cover.

"Look what you have done my book!" she shrieked. Hermione's face was bright pink with anger and the laughter amplified at her outrage.

"First world problems Mudblood!" yelled a fifth year Slytherin.

Harry and Ginny shot daggers at the Slytherin table and engaged in a heated interchange of angry words and verbal curses while Ron looked sheepishly at Hermione's ruined text. The last thing he had wanted was to enrage the wrath of his friend. Ron knew how precious books were to her, especially boring ones like Arithmancy. Unbeknownst to him a lot of the others students were watching them and Ron had never really done well under pressure so no matter how this argument played out he was going to cock it up somehow and embarrass Hermione even further.

"I'm real sorry 'Mione I'm sure it'll come out with a _scourgify_, pass it here I'll fix it"

A grubby hand launched out to seize the book but the girl's reflexes where almost stoat like.

"No! Are you dense Ronald? You cannot _scourgify_a leather book it will wrinkle! You have to clean it by hand with diluted water pat-dry it using a micro-fibre cloth and then you must apply a moisturiser to stop it from drying out. "

"What is a macro-fibby cloth? Is that some type of muggle cleaning thing. You don't need those type of things in the wizard world 'Mione, Mum uses scourgify to clean Dad's leather jacket and old books I'm sure it'll work on your crummy book. I'll prove it!"

Ron pointed his wand at the book and yelled _scourgify__. _Now Ron was mediocre at best with cleansing spells, after all Molly adopted majority of the house cleaning out of pure dominance. So it was no surprise to anyone except Ron when the book warped and wrinkled under the spell's magic. Harry and Ginny turned too watched awkwardly as the book dried into a wrinkled mess, barely legible to a highly skilled interpreter and certainly no longer useful for Arithmancy. Ron was beside himself and Hermione turned an even darker shade of red. She was almost crimson. The laughter from the Slytherin table had become infectious and they had aroused the attention of the entire hall and many eyes were upon them.

"S'pose a thank you is out of the question then" muttered Ron, red eared.

"Ronald Weasley" she whispered in harsh tones, "I told you not to do it, why on earth would you do it when I specifically told you not too?"

"I was only trying to help 'Mione," now annoyed that she was taking the accident out on him, "there is nothing wrong with your book it's just a little wrinkly. You have to calm down, it's a bloody wonder you can keep any friends these days with that attitude. Don't be so ungrateful."

Ginny and Harry's jaws dropped and Hermione looked stricken. At the high table Dumbledore rose from his seat having had his full share of confrontations and arguments for tonight and encouraged loudly for the children to finish their meals, bid them all goodnight and exited the Hall. After the Headmaster left slowly but surely the hall was once again filled with mediocre gossip and mindless chatter but at the Gryffindor table the awkward silence was infectious. Encouraging many of the younger students to leave the table. Hermione hugged the ruined text close to her chest and held back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Are you alright Hermione?" asked Ginny but Hermione ignored her and instead picked up her satchel bag and shoving her wrinkled _Numerology and Grammatica _into it. Regaining what dignity she had left Hermione pushed up out of her seat and walked out of the Great Hall, passing through the Fat Friar in her wake.

"Nice going Ron, you always say the most stupid things! You two are never going to end up together at this rate, you are such a bloody git!" hissed Ginny who pushed up from her seat, seethed at her brother and ran off after Hermione. Turning to Harry, Ron had a look of confusion on his face and he did not understand how something so simple had escalated so quickly.

"Nice one Ron" goaded Seamus as he passed Harry and Ron on his way out of the hall, "yer have such a way with women."

"Piss off Seamus!" Ron sighed, "What is everyone's problem Harry? I don't understand it at all. One minute I am sitting her with my best friends having a laugh and then 'Mione has one of her famous fits, she's mental she is! It seems anything I say to these girls they flip the lid and nothing I say ever comes out right. It's like they are meant to hate me, I mean I was only trying to help her out a bit."

"I don't know mate," answered Harry, "I am just as confused as you but you really shouldn't say things like that to Hermione. You know her books are important to her and after obliviating her parents earlier in the year, we are really all she has left. You think she really wants the idea of her not having friends on her mind?"

Harry picked up his spoon and resumed eating his pumpkin soup. It was cold now, but it did not bother him, years of eating the scraps the Dursley's gave him taught him to appreciate even the most mediocre meal. Harry allowed Ron to muse over his words. It was bad enough the impending doom of Voldemort's retaliation looming over them but having his best friends quarrel was something he did not appreciate right now. It was so hard to watch them bite at each other's throats when their attraction was so obvious. Watching Ron choke on potatoes was the first time he had truly laughed since Sirius had passed through the Veil. Harry needed more laughter not more fighting! He wished Luna had come over and sat with them, she always knew just what to say, although, whatever Luna would say would usually be very unusual, but it would be enough to distract any awkward tensions over to her.

"Yeah I guess so," slumped Ron, "I don't know what Ginny's all on about though. Me and Hermione? Yeah that's a right laugh, me and her. . . . we are just friends, just friends. Good friends."

"Sure thing mate" offered Harry, absent-mindlessly, his attention was distracted by a heated discussion between Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy and the latter stood with his goons Crab and Goyle and exited the Great Hall. As they passed Gryffindor table Malfoy casted Harry a hateful look and disappeared out the doors.

"I know he is up to something," mused Harry, interrupting his friends rant, "but what?"

_~O~_

Severus Snape sat sullen in his worn club chair. The threads were pulling at the seams from age and years of picking compulsively at it while reading many scrolls of student parchments. In one hand he held a glass tumbler with no ice and in the other a bottle of Odgen's Firewhisky. Staring blankly at the roaring fire in front of him, he poured himself another drink. The bottle was almost finished but he could make out about an inch or two left until he reached the bottom.

"Not a bad effort indeed."

Long ago had he ditched his heavy dress robes and buttoned up jacket, sitting only in his trousers and black dragon hide boots. It felt, reassuring, to feel the cold nip of the coming winter and the roasting fire biting his skin, it made him feel alive. Slowly, he kicked off his boots and carelessly kicked them over the other side of the room, aiming for a black chest; it was about a metre in length and was carved with Anglo-Saxon imagery. It was covered with his discarded clothing. Normally he was anally retentive about folding what little clothing he owned to ensure longevity bit tonight, he so lacked in energy that he had not bothered. Flexing his toes in the dark shag carpet he let the tumbler slide out of his hand onto his side table. A sigh escaped him, in the comfort of his living quarters he could finally try to relax and forget about all of his burdens, only alcohol could allow him to lower his guard. The occlumency walls that he had been developing since 1982 made it difficult for him to relax and would leave him with a terrible ache, one that alcohol dulled considerably.

The shag carpet felt good between his toes, it was the little things that helped.

Snape's chambers were spacious enough to suit him. Lining his walls were rows upon rows of leather bound books, hard cover literature and manuscripts. Sheepishly he had neglected to read over half of them as many were obtained via unwanted gifts, Death Eater raids and various potions books Dumbledore thought necessary for his practice but still lay unopened and unappreciated. Every now and then an obscure object would be propped up against a book containing watery specimens and suspicious powders he valued too highly to keep in the potion storages. He always tried to keep his personal objects and potion supplies separate but they always found a way to coincide. The lighting in the room was dark, which he preferred; he owned one large overhead candle lamp which he used for reading. It was charmed to hover over him so he could move about the room while he read.

While he sat in his drunken stupor he tried his hardest to avoid looking at his accursed ink. One decision made in his youth that could not be taken off via laser removal. In his younger years he had contemplated cutting off his arm to remove the tattoo in an act of drunken passion but thankfully years earlier another fool had tried a similar tactic and the tattoo simply moved to another part of his body. As if sentient the Dark Mark sent a small but noticeable pinch up his arm, demanding his attention. Looking down, the ink seemed to darken, appearing more vivid and ominous than any other moment in their time together. The snake coiled around the decaying skull, a vision that he so desperately loathed. Did it sense his doubt? Ignoring the tattoo he closed his eyes and welcomed a familiar sight that had plagued his thoughts for as long as he had been branded with the Dark Mark.

Lily Evans hovered in his mind's eye, plain as day and pure as ever. Resembling the last time he ever saw her, cold and dead on the floor of Potter's Cottage. The vision only solidified his festering guilt but at the same time it was the only thing keeping him together, knowing that one day, all his devotion and hard work will make up for the part he played in her death. In front of him Lily Evans floated, silently screaming at him and pointing the finger. Her appearance was sporadic but usually occurred when he was feeling overburdened or intoxicated. The sight made him feel a mixture of comfort and despair.

"You always yell at me," he stated as a matter of fact, "but I never know what you are saying."

The woman flicked her red hair and shot a scathing look at him. He opened his eyes.

"Am I not suffering enough perhaps?"

He picked the tumbler back up and knocked back the remaining liquid. It burned his throat on the way down causing him to double over and choke. Tears clouded his vision as he feebly tried to regain his composure. Slowly his breathing calmed, his throat fell numb and the unshed tears were blinked away angrily. Annoyed at himself for drinking too hastily he threw the tumbler at the fireplace. The tumbler exploded into a cloud of shiny shards that flew out of the fireplace covering a considerable amount of carpet and his neglected clothing. The fire hissed in retaliation, the added fuel enlarged the fire causing it to cast shadows that danced manically around his living room. Snape smirked a lopsided grin and knocked back the remaining Odgen's straight from the bottle. The bottle soon joined the tumbler but to Snape's disappointment it did not smash, only the label took to the fire quickly, it coiled and turned to ash.

Snape was not aware how long he had been staring at the fire. It was not until the Ogden's bottle rolled out of the fireplace and onto the carpet did he truly wake up and pay attention. And if it was not the bottle falling out of the fireplace it was fire that dragged along with it causing the shag carpet to catch alight.

"Bollocks!"

Quickly he drunkenly pointed his wand in the general direction of the small patch of fire and soundlessly fired _Aqua Eructo. _A powerful jet of water erupted from his wand and collided with the fire. It bounced off the floor and smashed into the fireplace with such force that Snape was propelled backwards and fell hard behind the club chair. A shower of water began to rain upon Snape, drowning him as he tried to coherently sound the counter charm. The sheer coldness of the water forced him awake and eventually he managed to shout the counter charm and end the endless rainfall. Staring in disbelief Snape took in the sight of his living room, completely saturated, his fireplace was empty and his clothing was sprawled all over the now charred shag carpet. Cursing to himself he allowed his body to drop backwards onto the floor, his arms dropped heavily to his sides and he willed himself into unconsciousness. Everything will be taken care of in the morning, for now it was better for him if he passed out and forgot how stupid he was. As he slowly drifted off to sleep Lily reappeared, bending over him with her arms crosses and a large smirk on her face. And as the vision of her grew darker and his consciousness grew weaker Lily's smirk turned into a face of meek concern and pity.

"It's not my fault." he slurred as he finally fell asleep.

Snape's reading lamp hovered over him faithfully acting as the only light source in the room, it illuminated his tight skin, his shallow pectus excavatum and his jutting hip bone that poked out awkwardly against the rim of his trousers. His greasy hair lay wet and limp across his face, covering his unseen tears that began to trickle out of his eyes as he slept. Tomorrow he would wake up cold, sick and angry but tonight he would sleep a dreamless sleep and it was these nights when he was drunk and doped up on Dreamless sleep were when he slept a most peaceful sleep.

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To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**

**Notes:**

*****Snape doesn't normally drink but in light of Voldemort's second coming and Dumbledore's behest to be the one to kill him should the opportunity arise well, that's enough to make the man want some kind of relief. He is not a social drinker and does it in the confines of his own quarters because being intoxicated is a weakness that anyone would love to take advantage of.


	2. Yes Miss Granger?

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Thank you Excessivelyperky, Kniga-Sitara, LittlebigmouthOK and Jally for your comments it is appreciated :)**

**Polyplectron**

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**CHAPTER TWO**

_Yes Miss Granger?_

~~oOo~~

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Hermione awoke to the sound of chatter in the beds next to her. The muffled noise confused her, usually she was the first to wake up but from the sounds of it Parvati and Lavender were already up and about. Her room mates were often lethargic upon wakening because they would often stay up late to talk about boys, girls and everything in between, everything except for school work. And school work was the only thing Hermione wanted to talk about. Needless to say Hermione and the girls had very little to do with each other so Hermione mainly kept to herself.

_Those two are sooo loud I wish they would talk quieter!_

Groaning, she grabbed her wand from the side table and slashed the air. The date and time materialised.

Monday. 8:35am

_Oh Merlin I have slept in!_

Hermione Granger never slept in and acting on impulse she sat up in bed and seriously started to panic. Sleeping in meant she had missed Ancient Runes and Hermione Granger had never missed a class unintentionally in her life! As she hastily pulled her hair back into a massive ball of curls Hermione tried hard to recall the previous day's events to somehow justify her over sleeping. Yesterday she had spent the better half of the day studying transfiguration in the library, and then she had attended dinner with Ginny. Harry and Ron had come half way through the main course and Harry had dared Ron to consume a ridiculous amount of potatoes. Hermione leaned forward to grab her satchel and unclipped it to find her shrivelled copy of _Numerology and Grammatica _which was too far gone for saving. Ron had ruined it.

"Stupid git." She muttered to herself. It needed to be said.

_I can't believe I have missed Ancient Runes, what if the Professor has allocated more assignments? I am going to fall behind!_

Falling back onto her pillow a muffled meow caught her attention and she turned around to find Crookshanks caught between her back and the pillow. Sighing loudly Hermione pulled a disgruntled Crookshanks into her lap. Sharp claws pinched through Hermione's night gown.

"Ow! No Crookshanks! What are you doing? Let go!"

Crookshanks hissed angrily at her and sunk his claws in further so Hermione did the only thing she knew would calm him down, scratch his ear. Her angrily woken cat felt a familiar hand scratching the back of his ear, his favourite spot and it changed his mood considerably. Now a very docile cat slowly moulded into her lap in a state of bliss. It was a fool proof way of calming her mixed breed feline and Hermione knew that no matter how angry Crookshanks was a good scratch behind the ear would make him as tame as a kitten. Hermione tried to remember how Crookshanks had even made in into her bed as she did not see him when she came to bed. Unbeknownst to Hermione, Crookshanks had snuck into her room while she slept restlessly and curled up around her head to help her sleep; when she woke it caused him to unceremoniously roll down the pillow and wedge behind her. Crookshanks pinching claws had weakened into a light kneading and Hermione could hear purring. Forgiveness. How easily it came when one knew how to obtain it. She felt horrible about the way her familiar had to wake up and even worse about having to pull the plump cat out of her lap in order to get out of bed. He looked so comfortable in her embrace.

"I am so sorry Crooks" she cooed as she tried to pry him out of her lap, "but I have to go. I am going to be late for class." Crookshanks purred in mild annoyance but slowly rose and arched his back in a morning stretch, then one leg at a time. Hermione rolled her eyes at his obvious stalling and gave him a gentle push to get off. Hermione untangled herself from her blankets and got out of bed. If she dallied any longer she was definitely going to be late for Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape. He was never one to be so kind to students who were tardy and considering how angry he was last night no doubt that anger would be relieved upon them today. Placing her _Numerology and Grammatica_ in her side draw she pulled out her defence against the dark arts required text and pulled back the curtains; the muffled chatter became coherent.

"Oh Pav, don't you just think he is the cutest boy ever"

Rolling her eyes Hermione could over-hear Lavender Brown's new conquest from the other side of the drawn curtain. That girl went through boys like Hermione went through quills and that was saying something because Hermione would usually burn out five quills a week.

"I don't know Lav. He is ok I guess. I'm really not that interested in red hair"

"It doesn't matter if YOU are interested in red hair or not Pav, we are talking about me! And Ron-Ron has really nice red hair, you have to agree, it is not too red and it is not too orange so I could still wear red or orange if we were to be seen together without it looking tacky or overpowering."

"I guess that makes sense"

"Duh, of course it does!"

Hermione let out a surprised choke.

_Did she just call Ron, Ron-Ron?_

In her haste to pull on a new clean skirt Hermione started to fall and in her tumble she grabbed the drawn curtain and pulled it open. She let out an impish scream, pulling down the curtain bar and fell onto the floor. The noise startled Parvati and Lavender out of their conversation and Crookshanks launched from the bed and bounded out of the bedroom.

"Hermione? Are you alright?!" Parvati cried.

Parvati rushed over to help Hermione up off the floor, Hermione accepted the hand that was extended to her, pulled herself up off the floor and smoothed down her new shirt. Lavender watched from her bed, arms crossed with a slight frown on her face, she did not offer a helping hand.

"Yes I am fine Parvati, thank you. I lost my balance is all."

"It is almost nine o'clock right? I thought you had Ancient Runes this morning?"

"I did but I accidentally slept in"

"_You_ slept in?! Well we have defence against the dark arts with Snape this morning are you still coming to that?"

"Yes of course I am!"

"Were you spying on us?" snapped Lavender as she rose to walk over to the two girls. Huffing, Hermione stood to her full height and continued to get ready for class, pulling on a clean skirt and robes and collecting her belongings.

"No, I was NOT spying. I just told you I woke up late Lavender and Parvati is right we do have defence against the dark arts and if you don't get a move on we will be late."

Lavender puffed out her chest, "Not my fault little Miss Perfect Grade slept in late, guess you are not so perfect after all."

Lavender smirked and grabbed Parvati's hand to lead her back over to her bed. Hermione decided not to retort for Lavender Brown was not worth the time or mind, the girl was clearly an idiot and was trying to goad Hermione into some type of retaliation. But as Hermione turned to exit the room she faintly heard Parvati whisper to Lavender.

"Lav come on, Hermione is right, we are going to be late."

"Just a sec Pav I have to fix my hair. I bet she overheard us talking about my Ron-Ron, she better not try anything, I know she likes him. But I'm not worried she is way too ordinary for Ron-Ron to even take a second glance."

An uneasy feeling settled in Hermione's stomach. Hermione was not unaware that she was a very ordinary looking young woman but her appearance had never really bothered her (beside her hair which frequently annoyed her). Attracting the opposite sex had never been high on her list of priorities as she valued other parts of herself like her intelligence. Although, as of late, Hermione had been developing an unusual leaning towards Ron that she was trying to write it off as a completely hormonal reaction during puberty that did not necessarily mean she had romantic feelings for him. At least that was what she told herself every time she found herself staring at him, or being consciously aware of how close he was standing next to her or how many times he would say her name. No, Hermione did not 'like' like Ron and if that awful girl Lavender Brown wanted 'her Ron-Ron' then she could have at him. That would get Ron off Hermione's back and that was a good thing right? After all, they had greater things to worry about this year other than boys and dating.

And running late for Defence Against the Dark Arts was one of them

_~O~_

A tall glass of water was the first thing Snape conjured when he woke up on his living room floor, drenched in sweat and covered in shattered glass. His eyes burned, his head throbbed and he was scheduled to teach his sixth year class in twenty minutes. Forcing himself into a seated position he raised his wand and soundlessly summoned three vials that he had pilfered from Poppy the day before. The first vial was a Deflating Draft to ease the lump growing on the back of his head from the fall; the second was a Wide-eye potion to keep him awake during the day and the third vial was a Girding Potion to keep him energetic, for he felt anything but enthusiastic about teaching today. Then again he never felt enthusiastic about teaching, ever. After consuming the concoctions he righted himself and rose from the floor. Pulling the chair up into its previous position he made his way over to a glass cabinet where he kept what little alcohol he had on display and not hidden from view. To wash the distasteful potions down he uncorked another bottle of Ogden's and took a long swig. Snape almost gagged as it sent a fire down his throat.

_Is not called Firewhisky for sales appeal. It is in it's essence, fire - whisky._

Now had this been any other morning Snape would have thought twice before mixing potions and alcohol before classes. When one mixes potions you can never be sure of what reaction they might have with each other or with your body. What potions might react badly in one person may not happen with another and Snape was still in the process of figuring out what worked for him. Ordinarily medicinal potions are harmonious when taken together, they are designed not to interact unless necessary but to consume three very different potions as well as firewhiskey was not an intelligent decision one would make. But Snape was not in a right frame of mind this morning, he was still drunk and his ability to make conscious decisions was less than able. Not to mention he had taken the very last vial of Sober Draft and Hangover Cure a few days prior and had neglected to start a new batch. It was not the first time he had been required to take potions in order to make it through the day, so he felt rather confident he could resume the façade as the dreaded Bat of the Dungeons.

Gingerly he collected his clothes from around the room and dressed himself, bits of glass cut into his skin but he was blissfully unaware as the potions were starting to kick in, the lump had receded, the Wide-eye had his eyes wide open, the Girding had him thrumming with energy and the alcohol was providing a lovely dulling sensation. The fabricated bliss caused a lopsided smile to appear on his face which he had to consciously tell himself not to do. Snape had a little more self-respect than to give the impression that he was under the influence and enjoying it. He had a reputation to maintain and if he walked into his classroom and did not elicit fear into the eyes of every child present then he was not doing his job as an educator. No smiling, ever, no matter how 'good' he felt.

Little did he know, a smile, would be all it took to scare the absolute pants off his sixth years.

~O~

Half way to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom Hermione ran into Harry and Ron, they acted happy to see her but she could tell that they were very apprehensive as to how she was going to act towards them. In all honesty she may have overreacted about her book, but she was just so sick of Harry and Ron acting so stupidly in public, Harry was already a pariah and Ron wasn't the most popular boy in the bunch. It wasn't that Hermione cared about popularity she was hardly swarming with friends herself but it made life at Hogwarts unnecessarily difficult. Hermione decided to drop the argument from the previous night but kept a frosty shoulder towards Ron, she was still angry about her book and the way he reacted. Not to mention Lavender's comments this morning were still fresh in her mind.

"I hate having to start the morning off with Snape it completely ruins my day, I hate that slimey git, you now he is going to use me as another example in front of the class."

"Mate I know what you mean, it's even worse than when we had him for potions and I didn't think Snape could get any worse."

"I don't know what Dumbledore was playing at giving him the Defence Against the Dark Arts position; he practically frothed at the mouth when he was going on about the Unforgivable Curses last week. Bet he has used them all before."

"Hope he doesn't test any of them out on us today."

"Don't be stupid Ron, Professor Snape won't use Unforgiveable Curses on students!" snapped Hermione, annoyed that Ron would actually suggest a teacher would use those particular curses on a student no less. She briefly recalled fourth year Defence against the dark arts with Mad-eye Moody and the Unforgivable Curses. Granted it had not been Mad-eye Moody teaching them, it had still been horrific to witness.

"Maybe we should bail and go play some Quidditch instead it's a pretty good day for it." Interrupted Harry, he was not keen for another argument.

"Yeah that sounds like a plan," piped Ron slung his arm around Harry's neck, "then we can sneak through a passage way to Hogsmeade and visit Fred and George for the day. No one would be the wiser."

"No." repeated Hermione

"Actually that is not a bad plan, I wouldn't mind getting another pair of extendable ears" said Harry earnestly.

"No!" repeated Hermione but the boys continued to ignore her.

"Alright it's settled then let's go. Are you coming Hermione?"

"NO!" shouted Hermione, "No, no, no a thousand times no!"

Harry and Ron turned to find Hermione bright pink, arms folded and tapping her foot incessantly.

"You can't and will not skip this class. I don't care if Voldemort himself was teaching. You need this class to pass your NEWTS and if you don't pass your NEWTs you can't become Aurors! That is what you want isn't it Harry, Ronald, to become Auror's? Don't you want to help people and stop Voldemort? Honestly you two are both ridiculous and I am not going to stand here and listen to your stupid suggestions another moment we are going to be late for class."

Hermione launched forward pushing past them at a speed the boys had only seen her walk a few times, mainly to get to certain books in the library before other people and or to get away from someone she did not like. Harry and Ron waited a few moments before following, and then solemnly followed her to class.

"Is she still angry about last night?"

"I don't know, just buy her a new book then maybe she'll relax a bit and it'll be less painful for us"

"I hope so because she is scarier than Snape right now!"

"Reckon."

~O~

Hermione rounded the corner and to her relief found Neville and a few other classmates waiting patiently outside the classroom. In all rationality that could only mean Snape had not yet opened the doors to start the class, she was safe for another day. Swiftly she approached Neville who greeted her with a timid smile.

"Hi Hermione."

"Hello Neville."

"Uh, how are you today?"

The question was innocent enough but it was dripping with subtext it seemed that Neville was rather enquiring about how she was after the last night's argument in the Great Hall rather than asking how she was in general.

"I am fine thank you Neville," she huffed, "and yourself?"

"Oh," Neville seemed a bit relieved at her normalcy, "not very good. I'm nervous about class today I don't think I am improving enough to keep Professor Snape at bay."

"Don't be nervous Neville, you have improved considerably since the start of term, you should be proud of yourself."

"Yes, dreadfully proud of yourself," interrupted a cruel voice, "after all you have neglected to injure anyone. That's an improvement but I would not like to be the one to jinx it."

Hermione and Neville turned around to find Zabini standing impatiently behind them. In all honesty both Gryffindors were surprise to find the hateful words coming from Zabini's mouth, usually he would keep to himself and not be caught dead fraternising with those of other houses especially Gryffindors. The dark boy folded his arms in defiance and glared daggers at them, behind him Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson stood, also waiting for class to begin. They chuckled amongst themselves, except for Malfoy who kept a stony face.

"Uh –"

"I'll jinx _you_ if you don't back off Zabini"

"Don't talk to _me_ Granger. The purebloods are talking."

"Excuse me?!" exclaimed Hermione, "I have the right to defend my friend!"

"Don't make me laugh Granger, Mudblood's don't have rights."

"How dare you!"

"Hey what's going on?" a voice behind them sounded.

Harry and Ron came up behind Hermione and Neville with Lavender and Parvati tailing beside them. They must have caught up to the boys in the corridor and Lavender was standing unusually close to Ron.

"Piss off Malfoy"

"_You_ piss off Potter, I'm not doing anything."

"As if I know you are up to something! I just heard someone call Hermione a Mudblood! It was obviously _you._"

"_I_ was just telling Granger," began Zabini, interrupting Harry, "to mind her own business and now I will ask you to do the same. The purebloods are talking aren't we Longbottom?"

"Yeah well this _pureblood," _growled Ron,_ "_is telling you to piss off and leave my friends alone Zabini."

A loud click resounded through the corridor interrupting the argument and the cluster of sixth year students turned to find the classroom door swing open slowly. The head of their fearsome Professor emerged slowly through it and leered down at them. His eyes were half shadowed by his iron curtains of hair and his face was pale as parchment. Snape looked terrible and it incited a mixed reaction of apprehension and repulsion but no one dared to show it.

"In."

It was an order and deathly low, allowing no room for argument. Single file the students came into the classroom. The Slytherin's barged in first, pushing Hermione and Neville out of the way to follow their Head of House. After them Neville, Hermione and the rest of the class entered. Hermione followed Neville and sat next to him, casting a vengeful look in Zabini's direction who ignored her gaze. The Professor had already taken residency at the front of the classroom and was sitting behind his desk. This was unusual because usually when they would enter the classroom he would wander around them and instruct them on the day's on coming lesson. Instead he sat on his wing-back chair and stared out into the classroom listlessly until everyone sat down. Once everyone was seated and waiting patiently for him to break the silent, did he finally speak. His voice was hoarse but still made a few students jump.

"Put your book away you silly girl," growled Snape.

Hermione dropped her _Defending the Faceless_ back into her satchel. He did this every time he saw her get her book out first. She really shouldn't be so surprised but it did continually piss her off.

_Just what I need. Professor Snape making a horrible morning even worse._

"Divide into pairs."

Everyone complied and sorted themselves into pairs and waited patiently with shared looks of confusion. Professor was acting very strangely, his demands were short and precise, not to mention he did not dictate who they should pair with, something he had taken to doing after their first class in the term. Hermione quickly became agitated because according to the curriculum they should studying case studies on resisting the Imperius curse. Her hand shot into the air and waved around impatiently for Snape to answer her query. Snape stared at her with glassy eyes for a moment then with a great huff of impatience addressed her.

"Yes Miss Granger? What is it?"

"Sir, why are we getting into pairs? Today we are meant to be looking at case studies on resisting the Imperius curse. Practical lessons are not until next week."

A thin eye brow raised high above Snape's brow as he stared stone faced at the girl. Under the table his leg began to tap, the Girding potion was supplying him with ample energy and his only relief was to constantly move at least one part of his body and the leg tapping was discrete. But the audacity of the girl made him want to jump over the table and shove her stupid book down her throat. As that would be extremely out of his character and most likely land himself in a world of trouble he decided simply to ignore her. If he ignored her maybe she would disappear. Snape had no patience for the resident Know-It-All today and giving her one last resentful look he addressed the class instead.

"Today you will be _revising_ your ability at performing non-verbal spells. First weeks abysmal attempts left me feeling doubtful at your competency –"

_Did he just ignore me?!_

"Sir you did not answer my question!"

"Once again!" Snape went on louder, "try to jinx the other without speaking and vice versa_. _If I hear _anyone_ speak in the next hour there will be dire consequences. Well what are you waiting for? An invitation?"

The class began to work silently on their non-verbal spell casting, too afraid to even risk cheating or mouthing the words. It turned out to be the perfect motivation to succeed because majority of the students managed to successfully repel and fire the jinx without speaking. This was outstanding considering how badly everyone struggled the first time they practised non-verbal spells. Hermione looked over to Harry and Ron and was admittedly impressed when Ron managed to jinx Harry who had not been paying attention. Hermione had to stifle a laugh as Harry tried his hardest not to shout when the jinx hit him. All success aside it was Neville who once again was lacking in successfully casting the jinx soundlessly. Hermione had been easily throwing soundless jinx at him so he could deflect them, which he did with ease but he just could not cast the jinx.

Hermione gave him imploring looks to try harder, (without looking annoyed) which he returned apologetically. A quarter way through the class, Snape had startled the class by shooting out of his chair and beginning his wandering around the classroom. As Hermione watched him, she noticed that he looked worse for wear; his usually professional appearance was dishevelled. The coat he wore had been buttoned up incorrectly and was stained with dark liquid, his under shirt stuck out from under his sleeves and his collar was askew. Not to mention he was not wearing his teaching robes, Snape always wore his teaching robes. Without his robes he looked very emaciated, he had a very elongated torso and long legs and arms, not wonder we wore his robes religiously, it gave him bulk.

While Neville tried in vain to cast the jinx again, Hermione watched Professor Snape practically run laps around the room and she swear she saw him bounce at least once. He was circling the class like a vulture searching for prey. Snape was never usually this energetic, he was a very graceful person by nature but as he almost stumbled past a desk while observing Malfoy and Zabini. Everyone else was too busy trying not to screw up but Hermione noticed and she started to theorise that perhaps there was something wrong with Professor Snape. But despite her concern Hermione was still fuming from being dismissed so easily, how dare Professor Snape speak to her that way in front of the class.

_I was only asking a simple question he did not need to ignore me! He is always so mean to me during class, no body ever notices because he is so subtle about it but he treats me just as bad as he treats Harry._

Lost in her thoughts she did not realise that Neville was ready to attempt to jinx her again, his face was contorted with blind determination. Without warning Hermione was nipped on the side of the arm by Neville's weak jinx and it gave her such a fright she yelped, attracting the attention of the entire class and the vulture. Swiftly Hermione found Snape towering over her with a smile spreading across his face. It was the most frightful sight the class had ever witnesses and she was receiving the full force of it.

_Oh Merlin. . ._

"Miss Granger," he purred, "Did you say something?"

_No, I didn't and you know it._

Looking off to the side Hermione could see Harry and Ron watching predatorily, Lavender looking smug and the Slytherins watching in eager anticipation. Snape patiently stared at Hermione, breathing heavily over her.

_What is wrong with him? Is Professor Snape drunk? He smells like firewhisky and something else . . . but I can't put my finger on it_

Professor Snape cleared his throat and his eyes darkened.

"I have asked you a question Miss Granger, you will do well to answer it."

Snape's stare was so intense it made Hermione's legs go weak. His eyes were so dark, like a black abyss that would suck you in and you'd never find your way out. An unfamiliar feeling ran goose bumps over Hermione's arms but stubbornly she returned a gaze as intense as his own. Slowly she shook her head in disagreement after all he had told the class not to talk and she was not foolish enough to risk it.

"No?" his smile turned into a sneer.

Bolting upright Snape bounced towards Neville who was absolutely shitting himself.

"Longbottom," sighed Snape, "Are you still unable to cast an effective non-verbal jinx on your class mate? Pathetic, you barely nicked her. Tell me Longbottom, how is Miss Granger going prepare herself for a non-verbal attacker if she has no one competent enough to practice with."

Neville was too petrified at the sheer closeness of his Professor to respond and Snape took this as a green light to take matters into his own hands. After all why not channel all this energy thrumming through him into something useful, like making an example of his students. It was opportunities like this that reminded him why he found teaching tolerable.

"Here. Allow me show you–"

Snape turned his wand on Hermione so fast that she reacted instinctively; unbeknownst to Snape, Hermione had advanced well beyond her class mates when it came to repelling and casting non-verbal spells and she felt confident enough to repel Snape's attack but unfortunately so did Harry and she heard him shout;

_"Protego!"_

Snape was hit either side by Hermione's Counter Jinx and Harry's Shield Charm, together the force was so strong that he flew backwards into the wall knocking down a few of his awful pictures with him. Snape fell limp at the base of the wall and a silence fell across the room. For a moment the class was stunned, unsure whether to move forward to see if Professor Snape was alright or run away seeing as he would be more than furious when he would wake up. But it did not look like Professor Snape was going to do anything, he just laid there, seemingly unconscious.

"Professor Snape," asked Zabini, breaking the silence, "are you alright?"

After no response was heard everyone chose to panic.

"Bloody Hell!"

"Blimey!"

"Nice going Potter!"

"Oh my goodness!" screamed Lavender, "Is he dead!?"

"Ow Lavender let go of my arm!"

"Harry why did you do that?!" shouted Hermione in shock, "Look at what we have done, we are going to be expelled!"

"Hermione!" said Harry, "I thought he was going to hurt you I was trying to help, who knows what he was going to do!"

"I had everything under control-"

"No you didn't he was going to hurt you!"!"

"You both killed Professor Snape!" spat Parkinson, "They'll take you straight to Azkaban!"

"It was in self-defence he was going to hurt Hermione!" argued Harry,

"Doesn't matter, do you know what they'll do to filthy Mudbloods and Half-bloods in Azkaban?"

"Watch your mouth Goyle!"

"Make me Thomas!"

The bickering started and escalated into a frenzy of purist slurs and house rivalry until finally Neville of all people hesitantly wandered up to Professor Snape to see if he if he was alright. A hand hovering over Snape's mouth turned Neville's face from one of deathly apprehension to shocking relief. Professor Snape wasn't dead.

But he wasn't far from it.

"Uh guys?"

The arguing continued and when a curse was thrown Neville snapped and shouted loud enough to stop the fighting.

"Stop arguing! Professor Snape is not dead . . . just knocked out."

"Use the Reviving spell then Longbottom don't just stand there!" shouted Zabini.

"I c-can't I am not very good-"

"Move over Neville I'll do it" said Hermione approaching Professor Snape, "Harry, send a Patronus to Dumbledore, Seamus send a Patronus to Madam Pomfrey tell them that Professor Snape is hurt!"

Harry and Seamus nodded and extended their wands and shouted "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A silvery stag and silvery fox erupted from their wands and weaved around each other and once given their commands then bounded in opposite directions and out of sight. Hermione went to cast the Reviving spell on Snape but found a firm hand pulling her back.

"I don't think so Granger," seethed Zabini, "We can't trust a Mudblood like you, he is our Head of House and if anyone is going to cast a spell on him it will be a Slytherin. Everyone get back, I'll do it!"

Angrily Hermione complied, ignoring Zabini's vulgar nickname and was pushed out of the way by the Slythern' majority so they could crowd around their Head of House. The Gryfindors' watched in conflicting apprehension as Zabini raised his wand and aimed it at Professor Snape.

_"Rennervate!"_

A burst of bright red light shot from his wand and flew into Snape's chest, Snape arched painfully and fell limp again remaining unconscious.

"Professor?"

"It didn't work?" Said Seamus scratching his head, "Why didn't it work isn't that spell meant to make people wake up?"

"Something wrong with your wand Zabini," smirked Dean who made a crude gesture.

Now was not the time for limp wand jokes.

"Piss off Thomas! Nothing is wrong with my wand!"

"He's dead, he's dead, he's dead! I can't be in a room with a dead person!" cried Lavender

"Pull yourself together woman." said Ron in an effort to calm her, "he's just knocked out."

"Oh Ron-Ron"

The entire class blanched in disgust at their classmates, now was definitely not the time for _that._

"I can't be responsible for the death of a teacher!" whimpered Neville, now resorting to panic, "Gran will kill me!"

"Someone poke him!" suggested Parvati

Malfoy jerked his head at Goyle to give Professor Snape a little shove but he just slumped further into himself and remained unresponsive. Malfoy made no move to see if Snape was alright, on the contrary he seemed to have distanced himself from the Slytherin's and was standing off to the side with a look of reproach. Having no desire at all to help his favourite teacher.

"He's not moving" confirmed Goyle.

"Do it again Zabini" ordered Parkinson.

Zabini complied and tried again but to no avail.

"Why isn't it working" Zabini huffed in frustration.

"You are not trying hard enough!"

"Yes I am. I'd like to see you try Pansy but we all know this spell is well beyond your ability!"

"How dare you!"

"Dare I did!"

"Just keep doing it until something happens," offered Crabbe, "no use arguing about it"

"Are you insane?" said Hermione, "If it didn't work the first time it means the spell is ineffective you could be doing more damage than helping! We have to wait for the Headmaster"

"To hell with the Headmaster."

"Just listen to me-"

The doors to the classroom slammed open and the class turned to find Madam Pomfrey and Headmaster Dumbledore pouring into the room, making a bee line towards Professor Snape and charming the doors closed behind them.

"Move, move! Out of the way!"

Madam Pomfrey shooed everyone out of the way and conjured a stretcher for Snape.

"What have you children done to him?" demanded Madam Pomfrey

"We tried to use the Reviving Spell on him but it didn't work."

"Oh dear what on earth have you done to yourself Severus? Resisting Reviving spells, there must be more to it then. How many times did you attempt to revive him Mr Zabini?"

"Twice?" offered Zabini not sure which answer would have been appropriate, he was not getting into trouble over this. For once in his life he was being helpful.

"Twice?! Mercy me."

Madam Pomfrey floated Snape on to the stretcher, cast standard diagnostic spells and then a few that Hermione did not recognise. After the final spell Snape's eyes shot open and he sucked in a harsh breath. He was awake but his eyes were glazed over, he was alive and the class could breathe again.

They had not kill Professor Snape.

"Now tell me children, what has happened?" asked Dumbledore with urgent authority.

"Hermione and Harry attacked him - expel them!"

"No we didn't it was an accident!"

"That was no accident Potter!"

"SILENCE!"

Dumbledore's voice boomed through the classroom, effectively silencing the bickering students. Once satisfied Dumbledore urged Madam Pomfrey to take the Professor to his living quarters and after much bickering Madam Pomfrey complied and floated Snape through a hidden corridor and out of sight.

"Everyone calm down and please be seated. Professor Snape will be fine. Now one at a time, could you please inform me on how your Professor came to such a state."

The class went over the course of events to Dumbledore so that he could get a clear picture of what had transpired. Hermione was so embarrassed and felt terrible about hurting him (while Harry secretly felt elated), Professor Snape was going to be so infuriated when he wakes up properly, she wished Harry had kept to himself then maybe none of this would have happened.

"Aren't you going to expel them Headmaster?"

"They attacked a teacher."

"At least take points off or something this is so unfair!"

To the Slytherin's a collective annoyance was expressed for Dumbledore not taking points off and playing favouritism to two thirds of his Golden Trio. After some more arguing Dumbledore came to the conclusion that Hermione had acted as instructed. To defend herself against a non-verbal curse but to keep the peace he gave Harry a detention for knowingly attacking a teacher. The detention of course was a façade because the Headmaster was going to ask Harry to visit him anyway. At least now it sounded like a more legitimate reason for visiting the Headmaster. Harry found it difficult not to smirk because the Slytherins' were seemingly satisfied with his punishment but they were obviously annoyed he did not receive expulsion.

"Thank you all I am very proud to know that we have students that can act so swiftly when another's life is in peril. Five points will be awarded to each of you. Now if you don't mind I should like to attend to your Professor and do not worry children, you can expect him next week, same time, same place for another lesson," the groaning was not lost on him, "why don't you all run along and reward yourselves with the rest of the class off. It is a lovely day outside would be a shame to waste it. But a word of caution to you all, it goes without saying but I should like to think the events that transpired here today stay here today. Is that understood," everyone nodded in agreement. "Fantastic, have a wonderful day children goodbye!"

Dumbledore ushered the class out of the classroom and closed the door behind them, leaving the class feeling bewildered and liberated. Awkwardly one by one they walked away from the classroom into random directions, unsure if they were lucky to have the rest of class free or unlucky to have witnessed the sight of their teacher unconscious and barely breathing on the floor. Needless to say they were all a little traumatised.

* * *

To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**

**Notes:**

*****Final scene inspired by Snape's first Defence Against the Dark Arts class on pg 171 HBP(I believe)

*** **Hermione is going through a lot of stress right now, boys, hormones and a bus load of assignments. Not to mention the threat of Voldemort growing nearer, she wants to learn as much as she can because she knows deep down that Harry will need her when he is needed the most and she wants to be right by his side. Hermione just wishes the boys would take everything more seriously, life is not a game and if it was it would be Russian Roulette. Anyone could be next.

*****This chapter used to have a Wizard oathe i got rid of it because it was not essential to the plot and was not clearly thought out, you readers deserve better! If you all prefer the old chapter I will change it back for you just let me know what you think.

*****This chapter used to have a half nude Snape, expect this idea to be revised in later chapters, more intimately because we can't get enough of shirtless Snape.


	3. Obviously I Wasn't Thinking

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Thank you to LittlebigmouthOK, cloudshape to ennien and Auroras Jenkins for your comments I hope you like the updated chapters**

**Polyplectron**

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

_Obviously I Wasn't Thinking_

~~oOo~~

* * *

Dumbledore stood in the middle of Snape's living room and surveyed his confidant's natural habitat. He could not remember the last time he had actually been inside Snape's quarters but he did not remember it being in such disarray. Snape's living room was a mess and Dumbledore was astonished to say the least. He knew Snape had a temper that he could barely contained on a good day but he did not think that their discussion in the Great Hall would cause him to trash his quarters. Snape had neglected to clean up after last night's incident before he left for class and it was unfortunate that Dumbledore was witnessing the aftermath. Walking over to the fireplace Dumbledore nudged a charred bottle with his foot and made a few assumptions.

_Another Ogden's related incident - they should make that their companies motto._

Moving over towards Snape's glass cabinet he found a newly opened bottle of Ogden's and three empty vials sitting on top of the cabinet next to it. Cautiously Dumbledore sniffed the vial's, he recognised two of them instantly, they were relatively harmless and he understood why Snape might take them but the third was only recognised after he gave a fluid gesture with his wand. Gracefully he wandered back over to the fireplace and grabbed a hand full of floo powder from the Floo pot.

"Hospital Wing."

The fire roared to life when the powder flew out of Dumbledore's hand and leaning over he stuck his head through the fire and yelled out to Madam Pomfrey;

"Poppy! Are you there?"

"Yes, yes! Hold your thestral's I am coming!"

Pulling his head back out of the fire Madam Pomfrey entered the room after him; dusting off her apron she huffed impatiently and made her way across the room to a archway leading into Snape's bedroom.

"He is still asleep" said Dumbledore quietly.

"And so he should be. I have induced quite a deep sleep. He needs rest."

Dumbledore nodded slowly in agreement.

"Did you ward the Hospital Wing?"

"Yes as you requested."

"And is the Private Ward ready?"

"Of course it is! I don't see why I could not just take him straight to the Hospital Wing. You don't know how difficult it was for me to get him through these stupid anti-levitation beads of his!"

The archway leading into Snape's bedroom had dozens of black anti-levitation beads hanging from it. Snape was insanely paranoid about security (even though he had his own signature ward on his quarters that only the Headmaster was able to disable) he had always hated the proposition of someone sneaking into his quarters without him knowing or while he was asleep so he installed the beads as a security measure. Anyone who wants to enter his bedroom will not be able to levitate the beads apart and will make a hell of a lot of noise passing through them.

"A little discretion is required Poppy. Here, I have procured these vials from atop his liquor cabinet; the residue may prove useful in his recovery."

Poppy walked back over to Dumbledore and held out her hand to accept the vials.

"These vials are from my storages! I knew he took them, didn't I tell you?! Did ask him at dinner last night Albus? Did he at least admit it?"

"I did and I am afraid he felt himself entitled considering he was the one who formulated them."

Pomfrey barked a harsh laugh. One at a time she sniffed the vials, her creased brow deepened with the realisation of each potion.

"Now let's see here. . . Girding, Wide-eye and . . .a Deflating Draft? Goodness me, what on earth did he need these for? Was he planning on running a marathon today?"

"I am afraid that is something only he can answer but I can take a few wild guesses as to why he may have taken them."

_Stress. Instability. Stubbornness. Severus._

"Was this sitting with the vials as well?" asked Poppy incredulously, picking up the bottle of opened Ogden.

"Indeed it was."

"Well that explains a few things. Alcohol and potions have a long history of causing the drinker grief when take simultaneously, that is why I never use alcohol based healing potions. Honestly Severus was a Potion Master of this school for over ten years he should know better! It is not the student's fault this happened I'd wager that Severus would of collapsed some point during the day. He is very lucky the students summoned us when they did who knows what would have happened. Now, Severus is going to need a full detox; it will take a few days for the Girding and Wide eye to move out of his system and I will have to continue to induce sleep magically for him be able to rest, otherwise the potions will have him running circles around the Hospital Wing. He needs time to heal because after the potions pass he'll be in a world of pain."

Dumbledore followed Poppy into Snape's room. Snape was lying on top of his four poster bed, his chest rose and fell with each long breath. Snape's room was very minimalist in its décor but the one thing that made this room stand out from other bedrooms in the castle was the massive bay window that encompassed an entire wall and it had a spectacular underwater view of the Black Lake. It was bewitched to allow the inhabitant privacy from the outside and Snape was one of the few teachers luckily enough to rest with an underwater view. Dumbledore noticed that the curtains were drawn over the window, it must undoubtedly irk Snape, he approached the window and defiantly pulled back the curtains. A few grindelows floated by the window completely oblivious to their situation and in the distance he could make out the giant squid. Dumbledore sighed.

_Such a view._

Poppy fussed around Snape for a few moments and then huffed in mild irritation, distracting Dumbledore away from the window.

"I'd wager that he'll be mortified to find out he was taken down by Miss Granger and Mr Potter," sighed Pomfrey resting a hand on Snape's shoulder, "Who will take over his classes today?"

"Unfortunately that duty will fall to me as all of the staff are all occupied. Are you ready for us to move him Poppy?"

"Yes, yes of course I am. The sooner I start his detoxification the better."

Dumbledore approached the side of the bed and Pomfrey moved out of the way politely to allow him space. Looking down at Snape sleeping peacefully under Madam Pomfrey's magical sleep allowed Dumbledore to see Snape in a perspective, he looked much older than his age would suggest. Dumbledore almost felt sorry for him, obviously the war was taking an even greater toll on Snape than he ever could have imagined but if he began to feel sorry for everyone then nothing would ever get done. Everyone was suffering in some form or another; it would turn into a great pity party. Clearing his throat he summoned the stretcher for Snape and levitated him on top of it. Together Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore grabbed either end of the stretcher and carried Snape through the anti-levitating beads and towards the fireplace. After enlarging it to allow them all to enter Madam Pomfrey threw down the Floo dust and shouted;

"Hospital Wing!"

And the three of them disappeared in a raging fire of emerald flames.

~O~

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat outside under a large willow tree near the Black Lake and watched Neville skimmed the water's edge for specimens. After being ushered out of Snape's class the boys had dragged Hermione (followed by Neville) down to the Lake to take their mind off the terrible morning they experienced. Out on the water, the Giant Squid was overly enthusiastic, snatching Grindylows as they swam by, throwing them into the air and slamming them hard against the water's surface and allowing them to float slowly into the depths below. The entire display was horrific but the trio was too traumatised to heed it any notice.

"I can't believe you two attacked Professor Snape that was bloody brilliant!"

"No it wasn't Ron! It was horrifying, we could have killed him."

"Wish we had killed him" muttered Harry, low enough for no one to hear him but of course Hermione did.

"Harry! How could you say such a horrible thing?"

Hermione was mortified that she had played a part in hurting Professor Snape. Even though Snape had been rude to her, ignored and ultimately chosen to humiliate her by making an example of her she had never meant to hurt him. In all honesty there had been a likely chance that he would of injured her intentionally had Harry not intervened, Snape was not at all in a right state of mind. Something had been off about him and Hermione came to the conclusion that he had come to class drunk. Something was clearly wrong with him because Professor Snape was always so collected, so proper, so in control. He hardly seemed the type, he was a spy for Goddric's sake, alcohol lowers your inhibitions and it could make you susceptible to easy interrogation. Didn't he know this?!

_Not to mention it's a school day, show a little decorum._

Hermione looked over pleadingly at Harry who was fiddling with the spine of his _Advanced Potions Making_ book, he brought that evil book with him were ever he went. Hermione had never seen Harry read a book as much as he did that one. She hated that book, not because it allowed Harry to beat her in potions (she was very competitive after all) but it was having a negative effect on Harry socially.

"Snape kinda had it coming though you have to admit, it wasn't going to be long until he coped a spell to the face."

"Just because he has questionable teaching method's does not mean he deserves a 'spell to the face' Ronald. Harry and I could have been expelled!"

"Dumbledore would not expel you both Hermione, don't be stupid."

"It was an _accident_ Hermione," moaned Harry, "can you please drop it. I don't want to talk about that greasy git any longer!"

Harry was so narrow-minded when it came to Professor Snape. He had his heart set on the idea that Snape was evil and helping Malfoy with god knows what but didn't Dumbledore tell Harry himself that Snape was to be trusted? That he was on the side of light and a member of the Order of the Phoenix? It was to Hermione's understanding that Snape faced danger every day in order to aid in the eradication of Voldemort and if anything he at least deserved their respect, no matter how cruel he was to them during class.

Hermione hated the idea of having the rest of the period off and all she wanted to do was run and find Professor Babbling to obtain her Ancient Runes assessment work. She had heard enough of Harry's intolerance and Ron's goo-goo faces at Lavender who was sitting with Parvati under a nearby tree. Thank goodness they were keeping their distance, the last thing she wanted was a confrontation with Lavender.

"But I feel terrible about it Harry."

Harry dog eared the text book and turned to address his friend, "You shouldn't feel terrible Hermione it was an accident and the ugly git deserved it. He was going to hurt you, don't feel sorry for him, he had it coming. End of story."

"Yeah Hermione," chimed Ron, "What you caring about Snape for anyway, he singled you out and was going to make an example of you in front of the class, glad it wasn't me"

"Professor Snape wasn't himself I am pretty sure he was drunk!"

"Drunk?"

"No he wasn't he was just being a mean because Neville is terrible in any class with him teaching it"

"Hey!" shouted indignantly Neville from the lake side, knee deep in some brightly coloured reeds.

"Sorry Neville!" shouted Ron, red faced, "If anything it is only a reflection on his teaching ability!"

"Uh – I guess so" agreed Neville, running his hand through the water.

"Anyway I don't think he drinks Hermione, don't seem the type, Dad says he never sees Snape stay to socialize after the Order meetings, although I don't see why they'd ask him too, even refused a drink once or twice."

"He_ was_ drunk Ronald I could _smell_ it on him"

"You were smelling him?!" asked Ron amusingly.

"Gross Hermione!" laughed Harry.

Hermione turned an embarrassing shade of red that caused the boys to laugh harder in earnest.

"I guess you couldn't help it though," guffawed Ron, "he was towering over you like some great vampire going in for the kill"

"Yeah! He had this weird look in his eyes I thought for sure he was going to eat you Hermione" stirred Harry, his grip tightening on the book.

"Oh grow up you two!" shouted Hermione, "You are both so vulgar!"

"But it's true 'Mione," said Ron, "Snape was giving you weird looks, the same weird looks Harry gives Malfoy."

An arm flew out and punched Ron in the shoulder who shouted indignantly, returning the gesture.

"I don't give Malfoy looks!"

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"You do Harry," affirmed Hermione, "You are always looking at him."

"NO I don't!"

Harry snapped his book shut and tucked it under his leg. He angrily pointed his wand at a small pebble close by and launched it across the lake in a small act of rebellion. It skipped three times before it sank with a dull splash, unsatisfied he searched for another pebble to improve his effort.

"I just know he is up to no good. You know? If I take my eye off him for a second I know he'll do something. He _is_ up to something I just know it!"

"Harry, I keep telling you Malfoy is not up to anything."

"Yes he is Hermione. In the holiday's I bet he took the Dark Mark to take over for his pathetic excuse for a father or have you forgotten what Malfoy did to me on the train?!"

"No I havn't forgotten Harry-"

"Good because he BROKE MY NOSE! My nose Hermione!"

Hermione had enough, she was not going to sit here another moment and waste a whole lesson arguing about Malfoy. Harry was absolutely obsessed with him and it was wearing her thin. Rising from her spot on the grass she began to pack her satchel to leave but was stopped by Ron's exclamation.

"Where are _you_ going then?! Not the library I hope. You spend way too much time in there as it is!"

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest.

"I am going to find Professor Babbling, I can't just sit here all day I need to study for my NEWT's."

"Didn't you have Ancient Runes this morning?"

"I-I slept in" mumbled Hermione.

"_You_ slept in?!" asked Ron incredulously, "You never miss a class but – oh come on 'Mione, stay with us."

She huffed, "What do you care if I stay or not it's not like we are doing anything."

"Hermione if you want to go just go," said Harry honestly, "since we sat down all you have been talking about is 'poor Snape' this and 'poor Snape' that. You'd think you liked him with the way you are going on about him. He deserved it! And Ron and I don't care even if Snape was drunk he shouldn't of turned his wand on you and he can drop dead for all I care! Not even thankful that I stood up for you"

"Harry don't say things like that and I am helpful I just wish you had not interfered!"

"Stop defending him!"

"I am not defending him!"

"Then what are you doing then?" asked Ron visibly confused.

"That's it!" she screamed, brandishing her wand at Harry and Ron. "I have had enough of you both today, I know that Snape is a git and he was going to attack me but this is unnecessary hatred and I won't stand here and listen to it."

"Hermione wait!"

Hermione ignored them and stalked across the grounds towards the castle. Surely under normal circumstances Harry would not wish death upon Professor Snape. Would he? Wishing death on anyone was just evil. Sparing a backwards glance she could see Harry throwing his arms in the air and Lavender swooping in for the kill. She was ever the opportunist, Hermione could only imagine the conversation she would initiate with Ron.

_"Oh Ron-Ron I was so scared when Hermione viciously attacked Professor Snape! Hold me close! Kiss me!"_

Shaking her head Hermione mounted the steps into Hogwart's entrance and disappeared inside. They had half an hour until lunch time and Professor Babbling should be getting ready for her fifth year class. If Hermione hurried she could apologise for missing their morning class and collect her assignment work. Anything to distract her from the chaotic morning she has experienced today.

_This is what happens when I sleep in. The world turns topsy-turvy._

~O~

Professor Babbling was unusually sympathetic towards Hermione for missing class, apparently all of her hard work and dedication to the subject had allowed the usually strict Professor to look the other cheek. Just this once. The revision with Professor Babbling had put her in a good mood and momentarily she had forgotten her argument with Harry and Ron. That was until Ginny grabbed her arm on the way down the stairs to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Hermione!" she cried, "There you are. I have been looking all over for you. What happened to you last night?"

"I am so sorry Ginny. . . I was just really tired I went straight to bed."

"Hmph I asked Lavender if you were in your dormitory and she said you weren't! Stupid bimbo. Hey- didn't you just have Defence Against the Dark Arts with Snape?"

"I did but it was cut short . . ."

"Why?"

"Um, there was a little accident"

"Really?" asked Ginny with growing interest, "what happened?"

Hermione juggled wether she wanted to confide the incident with Ginny, surely she will find out soon enough, seeing how much of a loud mouth Dean and Seamus are.

"I don't want to talk about it but I am sure Dean will fill you in."

"Alright, whatever."

Ginny took Hermione's arm in arm and walked towards the Great Hall together. The Castle was full of students coming out of their classes and flocking towards the aroma of grilled sausages and Sheppard's pies.

"I am so sorry about Ron last night Hermione, he really is a git"

"That's alright Ginny, it's not your fault."

Ginny gave Hermione a side hug. When they entered the Hall Harry and Ron were already seated in their usual spots but instead of walking towards them (which they expected) Ginny dragged Hermione to the end of the Gryffindor table were a group of third year students moved to make room for them.

"Why are we sitting here Ginny?"

"Thought you'd like to sit in the splash free zone"

Hermione laughed at her friend, grateful for her sympathy, although it was doubtful Ron would try gagging on potatoes again Ginny's subtle suggestion that Hermione needed time apart from Harry and Ron was appreciated.

~O~

_"Will you always be my friend?"_

_The wind nipped softly at his bare feet and the grass was soft against his skin. Inches away from his own hand lay the hand of a porcelain angel, his dear sweet friend that he was so fortunate to have._

_"Yes of course I will Severus, why wouldn't I be?"_

_"I don't know"_

_A comfortable silence consumed them both as they stared up into the sky above. For once the sky above Cokeworth was as blue as baby's breath and the clouds were fluffy and plentiful like a cotton field at harvest. If he raised his hand Severus could pretend to pluck them from the sky._

_"I can't believe we are off to Hogwart's tomorrow. It's really happening."_

_Lily turned on her side and smiled at him, she reached a hand over and placed it on his forehead. Her hand felt bony and callous._

_"Severus you are not going anywhere."_

_"What?" he asked confused, "What are you talking about Lily?"_

_Above them the once clear sky turned grey and dreary, the cotton clouds dissolved and rained down upon them, this was not supposed to happen. Lily's hand receded and she felt miles away, slowly and surely Lily and Cokeworth started to bleed into darkness._

_"You have really done a number on yourself this time."_

_"Who is that? What have you done with Lily?"_

"Wake him Poppy I must speak with him."

_"Don't leave me Lily!"_

Snape's eyes burst open. A great rush of air heaved through his body and instinctively his hands flew up to his face, the lights were blinding. Where was he? What happened to the beautiful sky, the clouds, and the autumn air? What happened to Lily? He could hear voices, familiar voices but his gut was telling him to find Lily, she was in trouble, she was. . . she was. . .

_Dead._

"Severus can you hear me?"

Risking a peek through his fingers, Snape saw Dumbledore standing next to his bed. Snape did not know how or why he was sitting in a bed but casting a quick look around he recognised his surrounds as the Private Hospital Ward. Something must have happened but what exactly he could not remember, his mind was all jumbled and his stomach ached, his back throbbed and his chest hurt. Did someone attacked him?

"yes. ." he groaned softly.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The Hospital Wing. . ."

Moaning loudly he clutched his head he felt terrible. Slowly he tried to sit up so that he could properly address the Headmaster but a gentle hand kept him down. Lolling his head to the side he could see Madam Pomfrey extending her hand to him with a worried brow. But that worry was soon masqueraded by professionalism.

"Do you know why you are here?"

"No. ."

Snape was struggling to breathe and he felt a familiar lurch in his stomach. Acting instinctively Madam Pomfrey conjured a bucket out of thin air and levitated the back of Snape's cot into a seated position. She only just got the bucket into his lap when he expelled a dark fluid into it.

"There, there," soothed Pomfrey patting his back, "Better out than in."

Dumbledore waited patiently for Snape to finish but did not wait a second longer to start interrogating him. This charade was taking up a day better spent on discovering Tom's secret, Snape knew how busy he was. Once again, Snape was being a very selfish little boy and now he was going to receive a just rousing.

"Would you like to know why you are here Severus?"

Snape sent a dark look at the Headmaster who returned it with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, 'Well?'.

"By all means enlighten me."

Dumbledore crossed his arms and stared down at Snape until the other man became visibly uncomfortable. After all, he was very vulnerable right now.

"You were knocked out by a Knockback Jinx and Shield Charm by two of your students."

Snape frowned deeply. That could not be right at all. How could two students get the upper hand on him? Better yet, how did he even get to class? He could not remember for the life of him going. All he remembered was waking up and. . . that was it. Handing the bucket to Pomfrey who banished it Snape reclined into the cot, a sudden feeling of exhaustion overwhelming him.

"Whom?"

"That is not important right now Severus."

"To hell it's not! Tell me."

"I have taken the proper channels in order to discipline the offenders, so their identities are irrelevant at the moment but what I would like to know (before I go and take care of the remainders of your classes for you) is why you thought it prudent to consume a variety of potions and turn up to your class, for a better word, intoxicated."

A vision of last night's activities sprung forth in his mind and Snape visibly cringed. He had been so annoyed at the Headmaster that his lowly mood convinced him to drink. Had he kept drinking once he awoke? Prior he had pilfered potions from Poppy to get him through the week had he been stupid enough to keep drinking while he took the potions? He could have killed himself. Turning to look at Madam Pomfrey the woman looked at him expectantly, she knew he took the potions from her storages.

"My apologises Poppy."

"So you admit it then?" barked Pomfrey, placing hands on her hips, "little late for apologises don't you think?"

"Poppy if you don't mind I would like a word with Severus alone before I attend to his fifth years."

Almost grudgingly Madam Pomfrey left the Private Wing to give them some privacy and closed the levitated curtains behind her. Dumbledore placed his decaying hand on the side of the cot.

"You see my hand Severus."

Snape gave a curt nod.

"This is an indicator of how little time left I have, you know it yourself seeing as you were the one who contained the curse. So would you like to tell me why you think it is appropriate to waste my time and everyone else's by being a selfish-"

"Selfish?! I have given _everything_ to you-"

"Everyone is giving something Severus! You think you are the only one to feel burdened by this War? Do you think the Order members or even the students are not feeling despair over their dying friends and missing families? Yet I don't have a school overrun with drunken and drugged up students. What on earth were you thinking?!"

"What was I thinking?"

"Yes!"

Snape slide further into his sheets. He felt weak, he did not feel strong enough to fight with Albus anymore, at least not while he was still very much intoxicated. Dumbledore seemed to see this as well and he released a long sigh.

"Obviously I wasn't thinking." Snape mumbled.

"What is wrong with you Severus?" Dumbledore asked quietly. Perhaps a softer approach would work better on the usually choleric man, "Why now are you doing this to yourself? I must implore the severity of your actions today before I depart for you are no use to the Order, Mr Potter or I if you do not take care of yourself and if suicide be your intent-"

"I am not a coward Albus"

"And yet you turn to the bottle instead of facing your problems. How courageous of you."

Dumbledore walked away from Snape's bed side and pushed his head through the curtains to call for Poppy before Snape could verbally assault him. He knew how touchy Snape was about being called a coward. In his cot Snape felt his legs start to shake, he felt a sudden burst of energy as if he could leap from this very bed but his body felt unable to co-operative. Judging by the side effects he'd wager he consumed a Girding Potion. Cursing to himself he willed his legs to rest. He felt incredibly stupid.

"Have you finished your little Pep talk?" asked Pomfrey who entered the room with a tray of ointments and utensils.

"Yes I will discuss his punishment when he is in better health. Do you feel confident in his recovery?"

"Oh yes but it will be painful. Since he has induced quite a number of potions he will have to heal the old fashion way. I will utilize what mugglecraft I do know to help him along but I will have to continue to induce his sleep. But the less magic I use the better."

"I leave him in your capable hands my dear."

As Dumbledore flooded through the curtains Severus felt the familiar sensations of the Girding potion willing his body to move. It turned quite painful and he began to fidget in his cot. A gentle hand held him still and he could feel Pomfrey's wand move up and down his body. Willing his eyes shut he allowed the darkness to take him once more and fell silent.

"_somnum altum . . altum somnum_ . . _somnum altum. . altum somnum_ . . sleep Severus."

* * *

To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**

**Notes:**

*****This chapter use to be shorter but I extended it.

*****Just to reiterate – Snape has taken a Wide-eye potion, Girding Potion, Deflating Draft and Ogden's. The Deflating Draft works instantaneously so it is no longer a factor but the Wide-eye and Girding potion are 24 hour potions and mixed with the alcohol has a prolonging effect. Poppy has decided not to detoxify him magically because he took a severe blow from Harry and Hermione and it might hurt him if she were to attempt anything. Since the potions are still in his system Snape will feel energetic and wide awake so Poppy has no choice but to induce magical sleep so he can heal. Not to mention his abuse of potions, lacking of eating and sleeping have left him very weak. Silly Snapey. (make sense? Hope so :/)


	4. Flattery Will Get You Nowhere Quickly

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Thanks to rivruskende, Jally and bournespeed for your comments**

**Polyplectron**

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

_Flattery Will Get You Nowhere Quickly_

~~oOo~~

* * *

After a day or so of actively avoiding Harry and Ron, Hermione was cautiously approached in the Great Hall during breakfast. Hiding behind her _Defeating the Faceless_, she heard Harry and Ron sit opposite her. She could tell it was them by their squabbling. Harry nudged Ron who grunted in annoyance, he then kicked Harry under the table barely missing Hermione's own foot. Harry cursed under his breath but conceited and was the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry about what I said Hermione."

Hermione lowered her book to find Harry giving her the eyes. Those sad puppy dog eyes he would always utilize to convince her to forgive him.

"Don't look at me that way Harry Potter."

"Come on Hermione you have been avoiding us long enough, I said I was sorry."

Finally Hermione relented, "Fine. I'm sorry too, it was very Gryffindor of you to protect me" she smirked, "very foolish yet courageous indeed."

"Thanks Hermione" smiled Harry, reaching for some bacon.

Hermione looked at Ron expectantly who was masticating some friend eggs. Ron had said nothing during the exchange. A moment of awkward silence passed until Hermione cleared her throat, Ron felt her eyes on him and he looked at her inquisitively.

"Mfph?"

"And what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Uh – nothing?"

Hermione was about to deliver a tongue lashing to Ron for thinking he could bludge of Harry's apology but the trio was interrupted by Lavender who emerged from behind a group of departing Hufflepuffs. She plonked herself down next to Ron and threw her arms around him.

"Oh Ron-Ron!" she had cried, "I had so much fun with you the other day at the Black Lake. You are so good with your wand! You'll have to teach me that charm again, I am so silly I forgot it! Maybe we can go find a nice quite place after you win Quidditch tomorrow against Hufflepuff and you can show me those wand movements again."

"Uh . . . yeah sure Lavender"

_How can one simply forget a charm after learning it? Is she really that dense?_

Hermione did not even want to think about Ron waving his wand around in front of Lavender, she had forgotten about Lavender swooping in after she had left. Ron seemingly ignored Lavenders laps in intelligence and was enjoying her ministrations. This did nothing to stamp the fire brewing in Hermione's stomach.

Rising to leave, Hermione avoided contact with either one of them and turned to leave the Great Hall for Herbology, and from the corner of her eye she saw Harry take his chance at escape and followed suit. Together they walked out of the Great Hall, hearing Lavenders high pitched laugher reverberating through the castle.

~O~

Madam Pomfrey fussed obsessively over a shelf full of potions in the Hospital Wing. It was a slow morning and thankfully no students had been administered into her care. Taking this rare occurrence with gusto she decided to take care of some of the menial tasks that had become neglected. Namely the stocktake of her potions cabinet, which well over due.

"We have six calming draughts, seven vials of essence of dittany, two vials of Dreamless Sleep and eighteen skelegrow potions," a quill and parchment hovered around her, ticking off the potions as she called them out, "I gather you were the one that helped yourself to all of the Dreamless Sleep, considering that I had at least twenty of them a month ago! And look, I am running out of Oculus Potion, burn-healing paste and there are no Head cure potions left, did you take those as well?!" she turned a vial around and inspected a label with spidery writing, "Severus you should be ashamed of yourself."

Next to the shelf of potions hung a thick curtain concealing a private wing, blocked from prying eyes and reserved for teachers. Behind it on a large cot lay Snape on his back and staring vaguely at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest. He had been trying to rest on his own accord until Madam Pomfrey decided to potter about the potions storage and cursing about him being the sole cause of the depletion in potion supplies. Did she not know how difficult it was for someone to sleep on Wide eye and Girding?

_Of course she does, she is doing this deliberately._

Reaching up Snape clutched his head and it throbbed under his dexterous digits. His recovery was proving time consuming and painful, he had the worst hangover imaginable and since his admission into the Hospital Wing he could scarcely remember the series of events that brought him to this moment. Dumbledore had visited yesterday and finally relieved the information of who performed the deed but Snape refused to believe it.

_"I would never allow myself to be taken out by Potter and that insufferable Know-It-All! Lies Albus all lies!"_

_"The majority of the class confirmed it Severus. Apparently you engaged Miss Granger in a duel and she was merely protecting herself. Mr Potter on the other hand was protecting his friend. I must admit I was surprised to find a Stag careening through my office door while I was enjoying one of Hagrid's rock cakes although the interruption was not appreciated."_

After that Snape was induced into another terrible magically induce sleep, plagued with nightmares and fright. Snape was accustomed to downing Dreamless Sleep before bed every night (one of his favourite addictions) to guarantee a few hours rest but his current situation did not allow him the privilege. Snape suffered a surgent of familiar nightmares reminiscent of the horrific situations he found himself in while in the Dark Lord's presence. Poppy had been talking incessantly for over an hour and Snape was trying his best to ignore her but she was merciless with her ranting. He would welcome a nightmare over this torture.

"What do muggle's call it when one gets what one deserves? . . Karma! Yes that's it. That is what you get from stealing from my storages young man. You brought it on yourself mixing potions and alcohol!"

Snape rolled his eyes as she continued. Tensing his fingers and releasing them in annoyance. Concentrating Snape tried to distinguish what he could from Dumbledore's certainties. From what the old man had deduced he had been attacked by Miss Granger and Potter. But even they were not stupid enough to attack him for no particular reason. Why would he engage Miss Granger in a duel? Unless they were revising non-verbal spells but Snape had no intention on revising that particular lesson, he had no hope for them. Snape did not believe for one instance that he would willingly walk out of his bedroom intoxicated. He had self-control and was sensible. He was an authority and no one should ever see him otherwise. But he had acted foolishly with no regard of the consequences. Merlin knows what else he did.

"In all honest I think your punishment should be refilling the stocks you have stolen. You know I had a child with a terrible head ache the other day and I could not help them! I had to send them packing!"

With a wave of her hand Poppy banished her quill and parchment to her office. Busying herself with replacing the vials she had removed from the shelf and muttered to herself.

"What good is having an experienced Potions Master on hand if he steals his everything he makes?"

Breaking from his thoughts Snape cleared his throat, he had enough lying idly by.

"I am not longer Potions Master Poppy I am the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher keeping your stores ample is no longer my prerogative."

A bark of laughter issued from the Matron and she flew the curtain open. The levitating rings suspending the curtains clinked as they collided with each other. Behind it Poppy walked forward with her hands on her hips, her crisp white apron lay perfectly clean and pressed over her pale blue robes. Aging hair pulled tight into a bun causing the skin on her face to pull ever so slightly giving her the appearance someone was pinching her. Efficiently her gaze rolled over the bed ridden Severus, taking in his sunken features and weary hair flicked casually over his shoulder.

"Now he finds his voice. Do I recall incorrectly that when you started teaching at Hogwarts you agreed to supply the Hospital Wing indefinitely with Grade-A healing potions?

"Your memory seems to be failing you Poppy. Perhaps you should take up your concerns with Horace instead; after all he _is_ the Potion Master."

"Horace? Are you mad as a hatter? I would not trust Horace Slughorn to make a potion to save my life let alone a student. He would not allow me the time of day anyway and he is not nearly as intuitive as you when it comes to Healing brews."

"Flattery will get you nowhere quickly"

"But nowhere is somewhere isn't it now enough chit-chat. Let's take a look at you"

After a few moments of fondling his face and arms in search of abnormalities and making Snape cough and say 'ahh', Poppy huffed in what little triumph she could muster. Nothing seemed to be wrong with him, despite the obvious exhaustion and hangover he will experience over the next few days.

"The potions are dragging it out but you should be in the clear. How do you feel?"

Snape nodded and Poppy helped him rest back into a seated position with his head resting against a conjured pillow.

"I have been better" he groaned.

"Water! Lots of Water. Here is a little lesson for you Severus in case you feel the need to try this little charade again. Alcohol is known as a depressant drug-"

"Poppy I do not need a lecture-"

"-too bad -it depresses the central nervous system and the messages being sent between the brain and the body. Girding Potion is a stimulant. (you should know this) That means that it stimulates the central nervous system and in turn the messages corresponding between your body and brain the two in essence are opposites. So when you put them together you have a battle for supremacy. Up. Down. Up. Down. Your body is not designed to handle the stress; so I suggest you take care of yourself from now on and not rely on drugs to get you through the day. Good night's rest and plenty of nutrient rich food and just to be sure you are taking care of yourself I'd like you to pop in on Monday so I can give you a one over. But no more potions for a while and definitely no more drinking! I mean it, your body is still very sensitive and it needs time to heal. Remember, good rest, good food and positive thinking."

". . .positive thinking," Snape interrupted snidely, "because it comes so naturally"

A thought popped in his head and he suddenly felt vulnerable. He did not have his wand, and on impulse he reached out towards his side table in search of it.

"Looking for your wand Severus?" snipped Pomfrey, "It is safely concealed in my apron I could not risk injury during your nightmares."

Sighing Poppy conjured a chair next to his cot and sat, charming the curtains closed to give them some privacy.

"You will not be able to take any Dreamless Sleep either Severus I am sorry. I know how much you love to drink it but you'll need to face the facts. You are addicted."

Snape ignored her, he was much too preoccupied with his arm twitching involuntarily and his foot tapped under the covers to a rhythm unknown to him.

"Oh dear looks like the Girding is still working its magic."

"It's fine Poppy" he answered stiffly, his left eye twitching, "I will manage"

Leaning over the cot Poppy placed a withered hand over Snape's. Her hand was warm and welcoming. The intimate gesture unnerved Snape no matter how comforting it was meant to be. Ever since Snape was a little boy he had detested others touching him. It was a trait that had made it difficult for him to socialise with other children or to bond with his family, let alone allow others to touch him. Poppy tightened her grip and he winced, slipping his hand out from under hers. She let out a sigh at the cool air that kissed her hand upon his retraction and straightened in her chair.

"I need not remind you that while in my care anything you should say in confidence shall remain confidential hereafter. Normally I am not one to pry but was there a reason why you felt obligated to drink an entire bottle of Odgen's Firewhisky? A woman such as myself knows all too well the signs of a man feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders."

Snape remained silent and avoided her russet eyes.

"Severus? Is there something you wish to tell me?"

"Not particularly"

Taking offence to his lack of trust, Poppy snapped her wand in the air and a bowl of steaming soup materialised, hovering in front of her.

"Well then, since you are awake I expect you to eat. The Headmaster expressed his concern about your weight and I tend to agree with him. This soup is full of vitamins and nutrients, and until I release you I expect you to remain in your bed. Is that clear?"

"Abundantly so."

Poppy placed the bowl on the side table and handed Snape his wand back. Throwing open the curtains she stiffly exited the room, closing the curtain behind her. Snape listened to her heels click along the floor in departure, his ears pricking up when she called back in a snide voice,

"And don't even think about using _Evanesco_ on the soup Professor Snape or I shall be forced to spoon feed you."

Cursing angrily at her humour, he sat the bowl in his lap and began to spoon the warm liquid into his mouth and forcing it down his throat.

~O~

Hermione and Harry swiftly made their way towards Hogwarts many greenhouses. The lack of harsh wind had allowed a thin mist to fall on the grounds and it took them a little longer than usual to find the right one. They entered the furthest greenhouse and were welcomed warmly by Professor Sprout. They took their places and were told to continue their term work on the Snargaluff plant. Passing Harry his protective gloves, she pulled on her own and felt a presence behind her.

"Wow, you lot don't wait do you? I even called out to you Harry why didn't you wait for me?"

Harry turned sheepishly to regard his friend and Hermione flat out ignored him.

"Sorry mate," said Harry inserting a gum shield. "I didn't hear you, not with Lavender carrying on the way she was"

"Oh come on Harry, she was just being friendly. I was about to ask you how your 'detention' with Dumbledore was last night. Showing you all that stuff about You-Know-Who, I mean, I don't understand why he is showing you all this stuff"

Hermione took this moment to ridicule Ron, for her own selfish reasons, "Really Ronald, you don't understand? Don't you think it would be sensible to know everything there was to know about Voldemort in order to find out his weaknesses?! I think it is fantastic Harry, is that how you spent your detention, you were very lucky indeed!"

Harry had to chuckle a little at Ron's offended stature and Hermione's obvious ignorance. He decided to change the subject though just to be safe,

"So I have not asked you yet how Slughorn's dinner last night went Hermione?'

_Oh the party, I had completely forgotten about it._

Hermione had been much to distressed about the beginning of the week to worry about Slughorn's silly party. Not that she would have wanted to go anyway. McCormac would always try and sit next to her and he was dreadfully boring.

"I didn't go Harry"

"Why didn't you go?"

"I completely forgot about it but honestly Harry who has time for parties? I'll celebrate when I graduate."

Bustling over towards them, Professor Sprout scalded them for their lack of enthusiasm at starting their projects, not to mention, their inane chatter.

"Ok Professor we are starting now!" said Hermione quickly.

When Professor Sprout turned away to glorify Neville's first pod Ron whispered quietly. 'We should have used _Muffliato_, Harry."

"_Muffliato_?" spat Hermione, "That is a spell from your Advanced Potion Making book Harry. You promised me that you would were not going to use any of the spells in the book Harry Potter!"

"I know Hermione, I haven't used any of the spells, I promise!"

_Advanced Potions Making_ was a horrendous product of innovative hatred. Hermione only had to read a few pages to feel a sense of appal. The _Half-Blood Prince_ had a penchant for theorising choking charms, slicing hexes and harmful spells. Thankfully majority of them had been abandoned and would not work if properly cast. The Prince had successfully completed a few spells and _Muffliato_ just happened to be one of them. In all honesty that particular spell would be useful but if Hermione gave lenience's to one spell than Harry would push his luck. Hermione's frustration with the book was not only its content but its anonymous annotator. After Harry had found the book she had spent a few solid hours searching every book available to her in the library and found no mention of a Half-blood Prince.

Deciding not to poke the sleeping dragon, Harry and Ron exchanged apprehensive looks and together divided the gnarled stump between them. After an age, the long, prickly, bramble like vines had been subdued; Hermione forced her arm into the stump and extracted a large pod, similar to Neville's. They sat the pulsating pod into a bowl that Harry had conjured, with a disgusted look on her face, Hermione stepped back and allowed the boys to take over.

"Harry, I forgot to mention that Ginny asked me to ask you if you were going to Slughorn's Christmas party next week. Apparently he has been asking about you. You can't keep telling him you have detention."

Harry groaned and tried to take his displeasure out on the pod, squashing it as hard as he could.

"I guess that this is another party for Slughorn's favourites then isn't it" clipped Ron, holding the bowl so that it did not fly off the table in Harry's assault.

"Yes, just for those he seems, worthy," answered Hermione snidely.

"Well that's just rich isn't it, Slug Club, what a load of bollocks," Hermione bristled at his harsh words but remained silent, "Well, I hope you have a fantastic time at that party. Why don't you shack up with McLaggen, we all know he's got his eye on you, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen of the party!"

"Get over yourself Ronald, " snapped Hermione, "We are allowed to bring guests and I was going to ask you but I am still waiting for an apology for the way you treated me the other day. Harry apologised but apparently it is above you to do so! I think I will ask McLaggen. He is. . . 'charming' in his own special way"

Ron's shoulders slumped. Harry was blissfully unaware of the heated exchange, too busy concentrating on the wriggling pod, he picture it to be Slughorn and continued to squeeze it aggressively, he even swore he hear it squeak like him.

"You were going to ask me?" said Ron quietly,

Hermione, caught off guard at it his suddenly quiet demeanour, composed herself.

"Yes, I was."

Before Ron could answer, Harry triumphantly shoved the bowl with the now very squashed and motionless pod under Ron's nose. Tens of tiny tubers wriggling like little pale green worms greeted him.

"Got it, great stress reliever, this morning has turned out to be very satisfying!" He looked from Ron to Hermione with a large grin on his face. Hermione seemed flushed and Ron shifted from either foot awkwardly.

The rest of the lesson passed in silence, which Professor Sprout adored admirably.

~O~

That afternoon while Harry and Ron were at Quidditch practice Hermione decided to visit the Hospital Wing to see if she could find Professor Snape. She still felt absolutely terrible about what she had done and she had heard through the tentacular vine that he has been absent from all the meals in the Great Hall and Dumbledore has been teaching his classes the last couple of days. The word around the castle was that Harry Potter had tried to kill Snape is class but Hermione knew that was a load of rubbish. Hermione made her way to the Hospital Wing, anticipating that Madam Pomfrey to ask why she was visiting she decided to claim needing a Head Cure potion as her alibi.

Hermione still remembered his smouldering eyes, dragging her into the black abyss like a moth drawn to the flame. The smell of firewhisky permeating from him, he more dangerous than she had ever seen him, it intrigued her and as the days passed this intrigue manifested itself visually in her dreams. The dream took place in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, Snape would stand in front of her impeccably dressed and pointing his wand at her just like he had the other day. Never did either of them utter a word. His eyes were vividly real, the image imprinted permanently in her mind even when she closed her eyes. Each time she blinked he seemed to come closer and closer until he stood a mere inch from her and she would reach out to him. That was when she would wake up in a cold sweat.

Shaking her head, Hermione turned the corner and found herself at the Hospital Wing. The doors were closed so she knocked loudly against the wooden surface. Activated by her touch, two small carvings in the large wooden door glowed lightly and shot upwards towards the door frame. Hermione saw Madam Pomfrey's aged eyes through the circular holes.

"Miss Granger?! How are you feel dear?"

"Not too well Madam", said Hermione, "I have a terrible head ache. Why are the doors shut?"

The two carvings shot back toward to their original places and the oak door swung open revealing a prickly Madam Pomfrey who quickly ushered her in.

"Oh no reason dear, sometimes I need to keep the door closed to prevent a draft, I have to lock them otherwise the damn things swing open and bash against the wall. Always defied a good sticking charm! Come in come in I haven't got all day"

Following Madam Pomfrey into her office, Hermione took a seat across from her, lowering her shoulder bag next to her. In Madam Pomfrey's office was a large feature wall behind her desk that Hermione had never noticed before. It had hundreds of photographic portraits on it and they watched her excitedly. She recognised some of the people in the photos and they waved delightedly back at her.

"Madam Pomfrey what are those photographs?"

Madam Pomfrey arched her head behind her and then smiled softly at the girl.

"This is a patient wall. It has a picture of every student and staff member in the school. When a person is admitted, the photographs are charmed to record the time spent by each individual in recovery. It is for the yearly reports."

Reaching up Madam Pomfrey grabbed the closet picture, "This young Ravenclaw has spent 4 days, 9 hours, 10 minutes and 12 seconds in recovery. About average for a third year," an image of a freckled faced lad smiled back at her.

Placing the photograph back, Pomfrey pointed her wand at the wall, her wing back chair pushing slightly backwards with her movement. "_Accio_ Hermione Granger's photograph!" From the fourth row, about fifteen photographs in, Hermione's photograph peeled itself off the wall and flew gently down towards them.

Pomfrey caught it in her hand and held it in front of Hermione to take. Taking it in her hands she saw her face smiling back at her happily. Her brown bushel of hair pulled into a low pony tail and her brown eyes wide and curious.

Hermione inspected the white boarder, small writing curled its way around it, "It says 1 day" Poppy nodded and urged her to continue, "10 Hours, 6 minutes and 43 seconds" she fell off the last bit.

_Have I really been in the hospital Wing for that long? I can't even remember the reasons._

"That is a very long time Miss Granger, the year has barely started." Taking the photograph off her and casting it back into its original place, "The photographs are updated yearly and records are housed in the Headmasters office."

Nodding thoughtfully Hermione addressed Madam Pomfrey, "That is very interesting Madam Pomfrey, I was not aware I had been in here for so long or as frequently."

"Yes it all adds up doesn't it," Madam Pomfrey sighed impatiently, "So it seems you are in need of a healing potion?" Hermione nodded, "What is the problem?"

"I have a head ache that doesn't seem to want to disappear, it really hurts."

"Head Cure, that's the ticket. But I am afraid that I am all out at the moment. Perhaps I will quickly pop down to the staff room and see if Professor Slughorn has any on hand, he should be on his break. You don't mind waiting do you dear, I can trust you can't I?"

"Of course Madam, and I don't mind waiting." Smiled Hermione, it was too perfect.

"Alright I'll be right back in a jiffy."

Madam Pomfrey left Hermione alone in her office. Hermione heard her heels fade off and the doors slam shut and jumped from her seat to walk into the Hospital Wing. Seeing the heavy curtain of the teacher's wing, she urged silent footsteps and cautiously approached. She was a little apprehensive. After all the last person Professor Snape would want to see would be the one who attacked him. As a precaution she took out her wand and held it firmly in her hand. Taking in a deep breath she pulled back the curtain and let it bob loosely in her grip.

The cot was empty and held no sign of the Professor Snape.

Disappointed Hermione approached the bed letting the curtain fall shut behind her and laid a hand on it. The bed was still warm which meant she may have only just missed him and if he wasn't here that means he was well enough to leave. Hermione was relieved but as she turned around she found herself in a less than desirable position. She now stood eye to a torso decorated with a regiment of silver buttons that flashed against black silk pyjamas.

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

Raising her gaze she came to see Severus Snape. Pale faced with dark bags under his eyes and breathing in and out slowly, her heart ached slightly at the sight. Startled she raised her wand at him and he raised an eyebrow high.

"You are too curious for your own good, Miss Granger."

What happened next completely caught Hermione off guard. Instead of screaming at her, which she anticipated after all she had snuck into his Private Ward, Professor Snape, face void of emotion, protruded a hand forward and enclosed it around the end of her wand. She felt his magic surge up the end of her wand to her hand. In the wizarding world, the one thing you did not want to do was grab the end of another's wand when it was aimed at you. It was extremely dangerous and foolish. A wand was a magical extension of one's self, it was an instrument used to channel magic through in order to perform outstanding and complex magic and to grab the end that expels the magic was sheer lunacy. It was like looking down the barrel of a loaded gun.

But it did not seem to frighten Snape at all.

Snape tightened his grip on Hermione's wand, pulling it and her closer towards him and leaned in to whisper into her ear. His breath was hot and it sent tingles down Hermione's neck.

"If you have come to finish the job then you'll find me a most unwilling victim."

"I don't w-want to h-hurt you Professor!"

Hermione stuttered to string a coherent sentence together, her eyes growing wide and fearful. Suddenly she found her courage had escaped her.

"Is that fear? Where is your Gryffindor courage now?" Snape sneered.

Snape stood a mere inch away from her and held no intention of moving. Hermione had really put herself in it now. What was he going to do to her? Snape peered down his nose at her and she recognised the familiar darkness in his eyes he held that day in class. Except this time he was now fuming with anger, visiting him had been a terrible idea.

"I-I am sorry f-for hurting you Professor Snape"

"Apologises are meaningless Miss Granger."

"I just wanted to see if you w-were ok Professor Snape please let go of my wand!"

Faster than Hermione could react Snape pulled her wand from her hand, grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around. Pinning her down on his cot he bend her arms behind her back and held her there. She cried in alarm and felt the familiar jab of a wand against her face, the grain of wood undeniable recognised as Snape's own wand, which he had earlier pinched from Pomfrey when she had come to remove his soup dish. Wordlessly he charmed the curtains closed and they were alone.

Together

In the same room.

Hermione felt a strange feeling in her chest and it wasn't pain, no it was something else entirely.

"Don't….lie…..to me" he whispered into her ear threateningly.

Flexing his fingers around her wrist and taking in heavier breaths, Snape felt adrenaline surge through his veins. Finding he could not help himself he applied more pressure to her wrist making her wince. This insipid girl had knocked him out he was only gaining some justice for her wrong doings, even if it was in self-defence. Hermione tried in vain to wriggle out from underneath his grip. The action was causing her skirt to riding up, exposing her upper thigh but Snape was oblivious.

"I'm not lying!" she squealed.

"Is that your nose growing Miss Granger? I know you and Potter coerced the attack. Come to gloat?"

"No! I just wanted to see if you were alright! Please let go Professor you are hurting me!"

Hermione tried to reach for her wand but Snape had anticipated her intentions and placed in it inside his pyjama pocket. As she squirmed in his grip Snape took the opportunity to finally find out what had happened the day he was knock out by two mediocre students Using the energy the surge allowed Snape passed the barrier of her mind and delved into her memories.

~#~

_"Divide into pairs."_

_Snape watched the class sort themselves into pairs and wait patiently for him. He was surprised at his outward appearance. Past Snape seemed agitated and was tapping his leg under the desk, no doubt a side effect of the Girding. Past Snape looked out into the classroom and his eyes focus directly at him (well at Miss Granger)._

_"Yes Miss Granger? What is it?"_

_"Sir, why are we getting into pairs? Today we are meant to be studying case studies on resisting the Imperius curse. Practical lessons are not until next week."_

_Past Snape stared at him for a moment and then continued to speak. Snape felt Hermione's anger towards his dismissal._

_"Today you will be revising your ability at performing non-verbal spells. First weeks abysmal attempts left me feeling doubtful at your competency –"_

_"Sir you did not answer my question!"_

_"Once again!" Snape went on louder, "try to jinx the other without speaking and vice versa." His black eyes bore into Hermione, to allow his final statement to sink in, "If I hear anyone speak in the next hour there will be dire consequences. Well what are you waiting for? An invitation?"_

_~#~_

_The memory flew forward and Snape found himself at the end of his own wand._

_"Here. Allow me show you–"_

_Snape felt Hermione panic and raise her wand to fire a perfectly silent Knockback Jinx and at the same time heard Potter shout;_

_"Protego!"_

_~#~_

_Snape shifted through the memories and arrived at the Black Lake. Miss Granger was sitting with the Weasley boy and Potter in what Snape could only imagine was the aftermath of the incident._

_"I can't believe you two attacked Professor Snape that was bloody brilliant!" grinned the Weasley boy._

_"No it wasn't Ron! It was horrifying, we could have killed him." cried Miss Granger._

_"Wish we had killed him" muttered Potter, low enough for no one to hear him but of course Hermione did and in turn so had Snape._

_"Harry! How could you say such a horrible thing?"_

_Miss Granger's sudden concern and sadness overwhelmed Snape so much that he felt the need to eject himself from her mind and out of her memories, less he find anything else he thought inappropriate. He had seen quite enough._

_~#~_

Snape pulled out of Hermione's mind and was overcome with sudden exhaustion. Releasing his grip on her wrists he slowly turned to sit down on the cot next to her. Hermione lay there unsure of what to do and completely horrified by the memories he had brought to the surface. She had been trying so hard to move forward and it felt fresh once more. Snape rested his elbows on his knees he tried to moderate his breathing and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"Insufferable girl. ." he huffed.

Hermione pushed off the cot to try and wiped at the tears falling from her face. She was absolutely embarrassed and without a word she smoothed the hair out of her face and wrapped her arms around herself in a fierce hug. She never should have come. Snape cleared his throat.

"Do you lack common decency Miss Granger or is your intention to embarrass us both even further?" he muttered avoiding her gaze and handing her wand back.

Hermione accepted her wand and looked to where Snape was indicating to her skirt that sat on the side of her hip. Hastily she pulled it back down and busied herself by smoothing it out and pulling invisible fluff off it. But his comment had struck a cord and Hermione looked at Snape with such conviction that she pulled her hand back and slapped him, to both of their surprise.

_"How dare you!"_

Snape put a hand to his face. A fine stinging sensation flooded through his cheek and it radiated heat into his hand. No doubt his face would have a petite red hand mark engulfing his cheek.

_Oh Merlin I just slapped Professor Snape!_

"Uh-I" stuttered Hermione clutching her pinching hand.

Holding a hand up in a silencing gesture Snape pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. The head ache he suffered multiplied tenfold and his stomach began to churn violently. He was going to be sick.

"Get. Out."

"I'm sorry-"

"GET OUT!"

Snape brought his hands over his head and rocked backwards slowly causing his silk shirt to rise over his shallow stomach revealing a trail of thin black hair. Hermione found herself staring.

"No." she said stubbornly, "Now I am sorry for slapping you Professor but do you honestly have the audacity to yell at me after you assault me and invaded my mind without my permission?! I was just trying to see if you were alright! The least you could do is apologise."

"Miss Granger the only reason I am not taking a thousand points from Gryffindor is because I do not want to see your face in here a moment longer now get the hell out you insufferable girl." moaned Snape under his hands.

Snape lurked forward clearly going to vomit. Hermione acted on impulse and transfigured his pillow into a bucket that just made it into Snape's hands before he emptied the contents of his stomach. The smell permeated through the air, the familiar stench of doxy eggs and vegetable soup filled Hermione's nose and she fought to cover her face with her hands.

"Professor why do you smell like Doxy eggs?"

Hermione felt stupid for asking questions instead of running away from Snape before he throttled her. A loud bang echoed through the ward, causing them both to jump and Snape buried his head in the bucket. The recognisable trot of Madam Pomfrey's footsteps entered the room. Hermione looked to Snape who was wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, he was visibly shaking and looked white as paper.

"Madam Pomfrey!" shouted Hermione.

"Miss Granger? What are you doing over there?"

Footsteps sounded loudly as Madam Pomfrey raced to Snape's ward. Pulling back the curtain she was shocked to find Miss Granger and Severus alone together.

"Heavens above Miss Granger what on earth are you doing in-Severus are you alright? What happened?"

"Uh"

"Why is does he have a bucket?"

"H-he was vomiting Madam Pomfrey"

Turning her attention to Snape, who seethed at the old woman, Madam Pomfrey banished the bucket and pushed Snape back onto the bed and threw the covers over him.

"You should be in bed resting!" she whispered angrily to him, "You have vomited enough, you'll only be bringing up good things! Have a surge did we? Obviously Miss Granger's company is over stimulating you."

"Unlikely," He hissed swatting weakly at her nimble hands tucking him in, "Miss Granger came to _finish the job_."

"No I didn't! You attacked me!" protested Hermione

"That remains to be seen"

"Severus! Miss Granger! That is quite enough bickering. Miss Granger grab your satchel and step outside I am going to induce Professor Snape into a magical slumber. You have aggravated his condition! Out!" urged Madam Pomfrey with stern eyes.

Hermione stepped out of the private wing but not without shooting Snape a lasting look. She was furious at him.

_How dare he enter my mind, I have never felt so violated! I was only trying to see if he was alright there, there were no ulterior motives. I was definitely NOT going to finish the job how could he say such a thing?! I was just trying to see if he safe, if he was -_

Her thoughts died off. Hermione had found it difficult to admit to herself that she felt concerned for Snape's well being ever since the incident. She chalked it up as her emotional investment into the Order of the Phoenix for which he was a member. Ever since that information had been relayed to her she had begun to see him in a new light, he was a man, a human being of flesh and blood. Who risked his life every day, living the life of a double agent and sacrificing his time to educate and protect. But in the end he was still mean old Professor Snape, how could she forget?

She felt so stupid and that did not sit with her at all.

_Professor Snape, he is vile and cruel and he maliciously attacked me, violated my mind. . . . . .and pinned me to the cot. . . . . oh goodness he saw my knickers! Ugh I've never felt so embarrassed._

Hermione blushed at the thought of her Professor eyeing her unmentionables and concentrated on listening to Madam Pomfrey chanting on the other side of the curtain. It was a chant Hermione did not recognised. Slowly Hermione sat down on a nearby cot and inspected her wrist. It was bright red and throbbed; and even though she was furious with him deep down in her heart she hoped he was ok.

She hoped he was ok.

~O~

Dragging Hermione to the entrance Madam Pomfrey addressed the somber student with the demeanour of a rousing parent.

"I have no idea what was going through your head Miss Granger but you are very lucky to be leaving unscathed."

"Yes Madam Pomfrey it was quite foolish of me"

"Foolish indeed, I leave you alone for five minutes and you manage to induce my only patient into expelling his stomach. Didn't you cause your Professor enough grief on Monday?" stopping at the door she gave Hermione the one over and saw her injured wrist.

"It's nothing really," winced Hermione

"Nothing my foot, these markings were clearly absent while in my office," giving Hermione a knowing look.

"Like I said. . . Professor Snape attacked me"

"Attacked you?!"

"Yes but he didn't mean to hurt me. I saw that the curtain was closed and I knew Professor Snape had been admitted after the incident and I wanted to see if he was ok. I was worried. I felt terrible." said Hermione breathlessly, her shame evident

"That is very touching but that does not justify him hurting you. After all your little incident in the classroom was unintentional correct?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

"Yes."

"Right then," Pomfrey gently grabbed Hermione's wrist and pulled a vial from her apron pocket and uncorked it. "This ought to do the trick. Your wrist should be fine in a few moments. Just keep it rested for a few hours," she muttered, rubbing the substance into the girl's skin, "I think it is best you go straight to bed and have a good night's rest."

_Rest? How can I possible sleep soundly after this?_

"Let this be a lesson to you, should you ever feel the need to 'visit' Professor Snape again." Placing the vial back in her apron pocket she extracted two different vials and gave them to Hermione. "A Head Cure and a Dreamless Sleep, no doubt you will need the latter tonight."

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey"

"Off you go then!"

Madam Pomfrey watched sadly as Hermione bolted out the door shutting it behind her.

~O~

Hermione ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Head down and silently hoping that no one would stop her to chat. She flew past wandering students and bellowing ghosts. Through archways and up the moving stair case, when approaching the Gryffindor entrance she shouted "Moonpie!" at the Fat Lady and flew into the common room and up the stairs to her dormitory.

Dinner was neglected that night and no matter how hard Ginny knocked on her door, or how loud Lavender and Parvati gossiped, she did not leave her bed. Crookshanks mewing about her sympathetically and clawed into her pyjamas in an effort to comfort her. Hermione cradled her wrist and downed the Dreamless sleep. As she drifted off to sleep she allowed small tears to run from her eyes.

_"Miss Granger the only reason I am not taking a thousand points from Gryffindor is because I do not want to see your face in here a moment longer now get the hell out you insufferable girl"_

Severus Snape did not visit her dreams that night and for that she was thankful.

* * *

To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**

**Notes:**

*****I hope you have enjoyed the changes hopefully it is starting to make more sense as a story. I'm not sure because as I reread it, it all starts to blend together.


	5. The Girl Had Malicious Intent

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Thanks to TequilaNervous and cloudshape to ennien for your comments, I hope you like the updated chapters**

**If this story has taken your fancy please comment, it takes five seconds and will really help chapters to come out quicker.**

**Thanks everyone enjoy the new chappie**

**Polyplectron**

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**CHAPTER FIVE**

_The Girl Had Malicious Intent!_

~~oOo~~

* * *

_A cold draft entered through an open window. The cold night air pinched and sent ripples of goose bumps over Snape's pallid skin. Reaching blindly over his head to close the offending aperture his hand collided with something solid. Puzzled, he opened eyes and sat up right in his cot._

_Twisting around, he found the stone wall looming over him and no window in sight. After a moments silence his horripilation's still thrummed along his skin. Scanning the dim-lit room, something velutinous caught his eye. Resting on the side table lay a neatly folded woollen sweater. Picking it up hesitantly he found it remarkably soft. Running his fingers over the dark fabric he recognised the blend of chiengora wool._

_The corners of his mouth turned and he yanked the sweater over his head. The sweater was large, fit for a much thicker man but as Snape pulled it over his face he found the neck line to be a little stiff. Determined to wear it he forced his arms through the gapping sleeved; feeling them tightening around his limbs. Flexing his biceps in an attempt to loosen the garment, the wool resisted his attempts, lacking the necessary elasticity._

_The sweater was warm and smelt of wool dye. Gathering the hem Snape drew it over his stomach. Warmth flooded through skin and up his spine. His body involuntarily shuddered as the heat licked his nerves. Reclining back on the cot he lay motionless for a moment. Closing his eyes he welcomed the empty darkness and felt his body melting into the mattress._

_Gradually his protective garment became scalding and started blistering his skin. The softness turned coarse and his skin itched; the snugness he revelled in tightened and constricted his muscles, cutting off the circulation in his arms and chest. Crushing his throat and cutting off his air. He began to choke. Snape desperately pulled at the neckline but numbness overtook his extremities. Unable to open his eyes he yelled out for Poppy to help him but no sound escaped him._

_The shrinking attire compressed Snape until his face turned red and his eyes rolled into the back of his head._

"Anapneo!"

The painful constriction on his throat lifted and instinctively air harshly flooded into his lungs. Snape opened his eyes and was welcomed by the familiar surroundings of his private ward; the archaic walls, flimsy curtains and aroma of clinical healing potions. Chest heaving and body shaking he peered down the cot to find Poppy standing with her wand extended towards him in one hand and holding a lantern in the other. The light from the candle illuminated her stricken face and her turquoise night gown with matching bed coat and night cap.

"Thank goodness you are awake. Almost choked to death had I not intervened, be fortunate that I was up early today."

Conjuring a goblet, Poppy filled it with water and levitated it over to Snape who took it in hand; gingering sitting up and taking a small painful sip. The water burned his throat on the way down causing him to splutter. It was only a nightmare.

"How do you feel?" she enquired.

Snape put the goblet on the side table and ignored her question; his skin was still tingling from the scorch of blazing fibre. Inspecting his arms he found no blisters or evidence of his strangulation. Snape was oblivious to her menstrations he was still astonished about his dream of his long forgotten family relic, he had not thought of it in years, he tended to keep any memory of his family under lock and key in the recess of his mind.

"I can't help you if you won't tell me."

Snape snapped from his thoughts and regarded her with cool silence.

"Suit yourself," said Poppy tersely, "a thank you for saving my life would have been appreciated but I can take a hint."

Poppy pulled her night clothes around her tightly and frowned stubbornly at Snape. He scowled just as darkly back at her, not enjoying her presence after such a personal dream. The sweater had been the only thing his father had ever given to him that wasn't bad memories or ugly genetics. It had originally belonged to his grandfather Milton Snape who was killed in action in 1945 defending his country in World War II. Milton had been a cotton spinner Overseer at the Cotton Mill not far from Spinner's End while it was in its prime. The community had regarded him as a respectable man, who was fair and kind to his wife and son but Tobias had been a rebellious child and resented his father. When Milton was announced deceased Tobias had felt an enormous sense of remorse and took to cherishing the sweater, to remind him of a time since passed.

Snape had found the sweater while perusing through his father's belongings one afternoon. Tobias had discovered him but instead of the verbal abuse he expected to receive his father had surprised him by offering it to him. It was made of the finest chiengora wool from a dark brown Newfoundland called Oran Tobias had owned in his youth, his mother Audrey Snape, a Spinner had made it for his father. Audrey had died of Byssinosis before Snape was born and sadly never met her but on occasion he had heard how compassionate she had been. Obviously none of his grandmother resonated in him. Pressing his luck Snape had asked Tobias if he could get a pet like he had but a smack in the back of the head was his answer.

Huffing impatiently, Poppy made her way around the cot to Snape's side and checked his temperature. Warm, but not enough to cause a fuss. Lifting his arm she faintly heard him wince but his face gave nothing away. Snape stared blankly into space.

"I'll be opening the Hospital Wing in half an hour I am expecting a few students to collect morning medications. The Headmaster has insisted that I relieve you. Here-"

A letter was thrust into Snape's hands. It was coarse in texture and he recognised it from the Headmaster's personal stash he kept in his desk. It had a wax seal with Hogwarts insignia imprinted into it. Obviously the Headmaster was becoming increasingly paranoid if he was sealing notes of little importance.

"The Headmaster dropped this in yesterday after your little visit from Miss Granger."

_Granger? . . . oh bollocks._

His finger that was tracing the outline of the signia stiffened at the mention of the Gryffindor Know-It-All. Images of their encounter flashed briefly in his mind and he tried his best to repress his annoyance. No longer did he wish to open the letter. Maybe if he ignored its existence maybe it would disappear.

"So you remember?" cocked Poppy, "You performed quite the number on the poor girls wrist. Red as a beetroot it was. A little essence of dittany cleared that right up but I could offer nothing for the emotional scaring you most likely caused."

"The girl was snooping."

"'The girl was snooping?' Well clearly scaring her half to death was the only rational course of action. No! I promised myself I would not interfere. opu know what you did was wrong,"Poppy flicked her wand and refilled Snape's goblet once more and exited through the curtain, pulling it closed behind her, "you are just too stubborn to admit it."

Snape watched her leave and brought his attention back to the matter at hand. Opening the letter; with no doubt in his mind Albus would be having a conniption for harming his 'precious Gryffindors'. And not just any Gryffindor but the wiseacre companion of his prized pig Potter. If a Hufflepuff had entered his private ward then no one would have been the _wiser. _Carefully he peeled the wax seal off and pulled out a neatly written note.

_Severus,_

_Your presence is required promptly this morning at six__ thirty in my study. There are a few urgent matters in dire need of discussing. I have taken the liberty of asking the house elves to clean your robes while you were more or less incapacitated._

_Please call Winky to bring them and send your response as preparations must be made before your arrival. This congregation is mandatory and should you not attend the consequences will be less to your liking. So I suggest you get out of bed and make yourself presentable._

_Regrettably,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Snape stared dispassionately at the letter. _  
_

"Winky!"

On cue a drunken house elf appeared with a loud crack. Winky swayed slightly, the top of her rags falling slightly off her shoulder but she seemed too unabashed to fix it.

"Master Snape, you is in need of your robes from Winky?" sniffed the elf

"Yes I require my robes."

Snapping her fingers his robes and teaching attire materialised on the end of the bed, neatly folded and his shoes black as night.

"Anything else for Winky to help Master?" limply saluting to him.

"Inform the Headmaster I will be arriving shortly."

Winky stood confused, "Really?" she hiccupped, "Arriving where?"

Gritting his teeth, Snape pulled back the covers and swung his feet over the ledge of the bed and stood, he teetered slightly but regained his balance.

"To his office you drunken lout"

Frowning, Winky regarded Snape with impudence, "Master should not call Winky a 'drunken lout'. Winky knows why Master Snape is in the Hospital Wing, Master likes his drink just as much as Winky does!"

"Get out!" he yelled, throwing the pillow at the elf. Winky vanished before the pillow collided with her.

Quickly getting dressed Snape mentally prepared himself for his meeting with the Headmaster.

~O~

Dumbledore thrummed his fingers impatiently along the top of his claw-foot desk, eagerly waiting for word of Snape's decision. The portraits of previous Headmasters slept peacefully around him and he found himself completely alone in his office. An occurrence like this was quite rare indeed.

He recalled yesterday's events. Miss Granger had careened past him barely aware of her surroundings and on impulse he latched on to her mind. In doing so, he saw a fraction of an event that finalised his decision to real in the chains on his colleague.

Severus pining Miss Granger face first over his cot and twisting her arm

Shock, could not quite describe his reaction but he had enough time to organise his jumbled thoughts while storming in the direction of the Hospital Wing. Making quite the entrance and startling Poppy who was putting away vials of Head Cure.

_"Where is Severus?!"_

_"Headmaster? He is in his cot. Sorry but you cannot speak to him I have been forced to magically induce sleep once again."_

_Flying through the Hospital Wing, his purple robes rippled viciously behind him, he gestured the curtains open and found Snape twitching softly in his sleep._

_"What happened Poppy?"_

_"Another surge, it was short but strong. Miss Granger received the thick of it I'm afraid, attacked her from behind."_

_"Why was she here?"_

_"Silly girl wanted to see how he was! Had me fooled thinking she needed Head Cure. Well she'll be glad she has it now I'll tell you that much."_

Dumbledore stopped thrumming and cleared his throat. Severus was acting well out of character lately and he was becoming distracted from his purpose. The Headmasters control over the younger man was slipping and he could not afford to lose him. Not in this crucial moment in time. Once he passes on, Severus will be the only hope of relaying the truth to Harry Potter. Without such knowledge – their cause will fail.

Rising, he made his way over to his pensive and commands it to return to its place of holding. Getting forgetful in his great age, he had left it out after showing memories of Tom's past to Harry. Spoon feeding Harry was the only way to aid him without over stimulating his mind, otherwise Tom will be able to latch on and discover their intent. It was an agonising game of patience.

"Good morning Albus," came a yawn behind him. Dumbledore turned to find Headmaster Aragon smiling softly at him, wiping his face with a weary hand.

"Good morning Walter," Dumbledore returned his smile.

"You are always up so early. Why, when I was almost your age I kept rising later and later until one day I did not wake up! It is life's greatest guarantee."

"Let us not forget," chimed Dumbledore, "in your current state you may rise at your own leisure for your body is no longer a factor."

"Correct but you know as well as I that this state of repose is a fallacy."

"Quite a fallacy"

A crack interrupted them and Winky came in to view. Hands up shielding her face and one leg bent and hovering in the air.

"Master must'n strike Winky!"

"Winky what a pleasant surprise and right on time, I gather Severus is awake"

Winky wobbled and struggled to regain control of her footing, "Yes Master Headmaster Dumbledore, Master Snape tolds Winky to tells you that he will be arriving shortly."

"Good," giving a curt nod to Headmaster Aragon, Dumbledore made his way back behind his desk and sat. "Winky please fetch the others so that we may begin"

"Yes Master Headmaster Dumbledore!" A crack echoed once more and Winky disappeared.

The sun was beginning to rise over the hills and he felt the warmth soothe the flesh above his corpse-like hand.

_The curse is progressing. . . . ._

~O~

The gargoyle was one of the most grotesque sculptures in the entire castle. It intended to strike fear and authority into the hearts of any student who was unlucky enough to pass through its passage. But for Snape it was about as intimidating as a Plimpy or Niffler. On the contrary if this brute were to come to life, barred him access and tried to consume him Snape would have no second thoughts about destroying the ugly thing into a million little pieces.

"Acid Pop"

Climbing the spiral stair case he calmly readying himself for whatever Dumbledore was prepared to throw at him.

Knock, Knock

Knock, Knock

Knock

_Insisting on rhythmic knocking is absurd._

"Come in."

Head held high Snape waited for the door to open completely before he stepped in. But no amount of forethought or meditative conditioning could prepare him for the rage he felt seeing the Headmaster, Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Professor Slughorn and Professor Sprout sitting patiently in front of him.

_I am not amused._

Dumbledore indicated for Snape to sit in the chair in front of his desk. The professors were distributed evenly on either side of the Headmaster, Sprout and McGonagall to his right and Slughorn and Flitwick to his left while he sat an inch or so higher than his cohorts, like some grand lord of the realm. Snape made his way stiffly to his indicated seat and sat ramrod straight; clenching his fists, grinding his teeth and flashing his eyes dangerously at the Headmaster.

"What is the meaning of this?" blurted Snape, unwilling to compromise with the voices in his head pleading for him to remain calm.

"Well Severus in light of recent events I feel it necessary for you to see the ramifications of your actions. As of now your behaviour is under the scrutiny of a private forum compromising of myself and each Head of House-"

"This is absurd Albus you promised me confidence! This does not concern anyone– especially not Horace he is not even a Head of House! I am Head of Slytherin!"

"In your current state, I feel it is unwise to rely on you to fulfil your duties as Head of Slytherin and I am relinquishing the position to Horace who has graciously accepted."

"Are you out of your _mind_?!"

"Now see here!" interrupted Slughorn, standing from his chair; his bloated belly rippling under his waist coat, "Need I remind you that I was Head of Slytherin before you, in fact you were _my_ predecessor! Not to mention I was your Head of House while you were a student at Hogwarts-"

"And you were hardly competent."

"How dare you! I am perfectly capable of looking after Slytherin. Can you say the same about yourself? A bleeding drunkard does not constitute a reliable guardian!"

"Enough!" boomed Dumbledore, silencing the bickering snakes. Slughorn sat back in his chair and it groaned under his weight while Snape shot daggers.

"What has gotten into you Severus?" whispered McGonagall, worry clearly filling her, "Albus has informed us of the incident. I will not apologise for Mr Potter and Miss Granger's behaviour it seems they acted quite appropriately."

"Yes you would say that wouldn't you! Blind to your own House's misgivings."

"Severus," said Dumbledore sternly, "your actions over the past few days are not the only matters to be discussed today I'm afraid. Regrettably my decision to hold this council is a result of your actions against Miss Granger while under the withdrawals of your affliction."

News to his colleagues, McGonagall turned to Dumbledore.

"Miss Granger?! What did he do Albus? Severus, what have you done to Miss Granger?!"

Dumbledore interrupted Snape before he could retaliate, "Minerva Poppy assures me Miss Granger was properly seen to. The incident in question took place while Severus was in intensive care. Miss Granger took it upon herself to inquire on Severus's health; he suffered a surge and injured her."

"The girl had malicious intent." Snape mumbled angrily, feeling uneasy under the burning flames emitting from McGonagall's eyes. She was ready to pounce on him and rip her lioness claws into his flesh for hurting one of her Gryffindor cubs.

"Her intentions are irrelevant Severus but your actions are not. Had you considered the ramifications of your actions you would not have found yourself in such predicament. Miss Granger is not the only one discomforted by your behaviour. Pomona you have been awfully quite. Would you like to start by enlightening Severus?"

"Certainly Headmaster."

Pomona sat up straight in her chair. She appeared to be the least infuriated of the group. It was very possible that she had no qualms with Snape what-so-ever but was here out of loyalty or peer-pressure. The two actually had a very polite relationship as their professions found them working together side by side often. Whether it was supplying him with ingredients only someone in the inner workings of the British Herbologists syndicate would be able to find or her acquiring difficult brews and taxing elixirs that would require tedious time and energy to create for sick plants and over-zealous weeds.

Folding his arms over his chest he turned his attention to Pomona and waited as politely as he could for her to give her two knuts worth.

"We have a very good working relationship Severus," she began, "despite your – charm – we have always been symbiotic. But since the beginning of term you seemed to have evolved beyond this reciprocity. Two Tuesdays ago I asked for a Herbiotic potion for the Venomous Tentaculars. Word of a weed virus feeding off the magic of Tentaculars you see. The potion itself only takes a few days to brew but I wanted to ask in advance to give you enough time. I had forty infantile Tentaculars before the virus struck, and now I am left with six stunted adolescence."

"Oh dear," bellowed Slughorn, wiping his sweaty face with an embroidered handkerchief, "Six stunted adolescence? Their leaves are virtually useless, what a waste! You should of called on me Pomona I could have fashioned it for you had I known. Terrible, terrible waste."

McGonagall shot Slughorn a venomous look for his lack of grace and patted Pomona Sprout's hand sympathetically.

"Thank you Pomona- Severus please leave anything you wish to say after everyone has spoken then you may express yourself," tutted Dumbledore to Snape who had opened his mouth and raised his index finger to argue, "Minerva?"

McGonagall released Sprout's hand and tugged her emerald robes in an effort to look respectable. Tilting her head back she looked down her nose at Snape who narrowed his eyes in a silent challenge to bring her worst.

Like Slughorn McGonagall taught Snape while he was attending Hogwarts and knew of his difficulty to socialise or create meaningful relationships with people. It was always as if an invisible wall was blocking him from the rest of the world. Their relationship at Hogwarts was similar to that of sibling rivalry. Being a gambling woman, McGonagall would always engage Snape in bets over house feats of strength, ability, intelligence, Quidditch and of course the House Cup. Although she would never tell him, for she was much too proud, she respected him with every ounce of her being despite his endless assault on her House. But this year he was stretching himself way beyond the lines of respect into disdain.

"Thank you Albus. I had something else planned entirely but at hearing the news about Miss Granger I just have one thing to say."

Snape raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"When will you put this animosity for Gryffindor behind you?"

The eyebrow that sat precariously high slumped down to join its twin.

_I beg your pardon?_

"Does it not leave you feeling weary? Suffering a surge does not justify why you openly assaulted Miss Granger and the only real reasoning behind it is because she is a Gryffindor. This week you have seized over two hundred house points from Gryffindor. Dropping quills, asking questions, snorting and voicing concern are nonsensical reasons for deducting house points. Thank goodness Albus has agreed to reimburse majority taken. It is our duty as educators to protect, nurture and sustain the children of Hogwarts. How can you expect to lead a good example for Slytherin if you continue to openly make a mockery of Gryffindor? Now wonder house tension is at an all-time high and I won't allow you to besmirch my Gryffindor family regardless of your 'issues'."

Snape found himself locked eye to eye with McGonagall. He admired her passion for her house. It is obviously something that is lacking in Slytherin, as well house comradery and kinship. Fights regularly broke out between the half-bloods and purebloods, wealthy and the middle-class, notions of allegiance to the Dark Lord and Dumbledore always had him between two or more blood thirsty Slytherins itching to withdraw their wands.

The sun was blaring into the room and Dumbledore flicked his wand and pulled the curtains closed, floating candle sparking to life as the room darkened.

"The time is six-fifty and students will be rousing out of bed shortly. Filius if you don't mind"

"I'll be brief," squeaked Flitwick, "I tend to agree with Minerva, Severus. Your animosity is extended to Ravenclaw as well. Many students have come in terribly upset with your behaviour. I have almost run out of cupcakes to cheer them up with. You see I kept a tin full of cupcakes in my desk and I use this funny little charm, and they dance, the students laugh. Oh its marvellous! – b-but maybe your new position as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is causing you unnecessary stress. You held the position of Potions Master for so long. . . Perhaps it is for the best that Horace takes over your duties as Head of Slytherin so you may concentrate solely on your new position."

"Do not think ill of me my boy," said Slughorn, "It is for the best-"

Holding up a hand Snape silenced him and released a breath that he had not known he was holding. Trying desperately to hide his raw rage towards his peers he clung tightly to his composure. Allowing his eyes to swell angrily seemed the only thing he could do. He really wanted to blast some things and maybe choke a few owls to death. But more than anything, this made his desire to drink even stronger.

"I think I have heard quite enough _testimonies_thank you."

The Heads of House scrutinized him with uneasy hesitation. It was common knowledge that Snape was a hot-head when it came to criticism and undoubtedly felt the desire to scream blue bloody murder at all of them for their 'input'. Dumbledore, who seemed pleased with himself, cleared his throat to draw everyone's attention.

"Indeed Severus. Now I have thought about your punishment, for I feel repeat offences such as this should not go unchastised. I have taken the liberty of liberating you of all your intoxicants, mainly your Ogden's Firewhisky, from your quarters,"

Dumbledore waved his wand and several bottles of Ogden's Firewhisky appeared on his desk. The staff looked quite shocked at the Headmasters bold actions. Snape was as pale as snow, his eyes were dark and his mouth pinched into a painful line. He eyed the bottles greedily and felt enraged at not only the fact that Dumbledore had stolen his stash but entered his quarters unbeknownst to him.

"It is not my desire to see you suffer Severus, only to impart knowledge. Knowing that your addiction will be relieved and at the same time working towards bettering your relationship with fellow staff members only serves to better you. These bottles will be donated to the staff to show your appreciation for them."

The bottles disappeared with a pop except for four bottles that gently floated into the hands of the four Head of House's hands. Minerva looked distastefully at her bottle, Pomona and Filius eyed theirs appreciatively while Horace uncorked his to inhale its scent.

"Ah Ogden's Finest, excellent choice Severus"

Snape stood from his chair, robes swirling around him as he shook violently in silent rage pointing his finger at Slughorn he spat angrily at him.

"That is a fifty year old bottle of Firewhisky you just opened you impudent blimp I hope you at least intend to drink it!"

Slughorn's enthusiasm deflated and sealed the bottle.

"Severus your gifts will not go unnoticed. Think of this as networking. This one gesture of good faith has already gained you the confidence of the very people in this room. No longer will you have to suffer in silence when you have your colleagues to lean on."

Snape was less than impressed and when made action to retort Dumbledore stood from his seat and coolly addressed him once more.

"For the remainder of the school year you will be nothing less than sober. Should I hear of any more 'incidents' it will be more than your collection confiscated."

Their eyes locked for a faction longer as the implications of Dumbledore's words rattled him. No liberties, no freedoms. Nothing.

"Now," said Dumbledore, breaking the contact, "if you do not mind, the students should be descending into the Great Hall for breakfast and I have heard kippers are in abundance."

Single file, the staff stood and walked from the room, nodding politely to Snape in thanks as they passed. Snape stayed seated in his seat never loosing eye contact with the Headmaster who blantly ignored him. The door to the office shut loudly and the locks were heard clicking into place.

"I thought I made myself explicitly clear that breakfast was to be had Severus. Yet you remain seated."

Snape felt another surge pumping through his veins. In a voice so viciously low he stared curled his lips at Dumbledore.

"Albus this is ridiculous" he clipped.

"Well yes it is isn't it?" purred Dumbledore, raising his eyebrow in amusement, "quite ridiculous indeed."

"And cruel."

"Consider me cruel Severus?" asked Dumbledore considerately.

"Yes. I do."

Dumbledore paused for a moment and then gestured to the door but Snape refused to stand.

"Noted."

Snape's eye twitch despite himself and his rage started to boil over.

"I know where the ruddy door is Albus-"

"Do you?"

"-BUT I am NOT leaving until you return what you have stolen from me!"

"Stolen?," Dumbledore sneered down at him, "I am afraid you are in no position to make demands of me Severus"

"Yet you make demands of me?!" shouted Snape launching from his chair.

Dumbledore sighed heavily, "Severus I am in no mood to -"

"No, I have had enough! Everyday I spy for you, lie for you and put myself in mortal danger for you and you have the audacity to take away the only commodity I find any solace in. Did it ever crossed your brilliant mind to question why I have been drinking myself into stupor instead of asininely confiscating _my_ belongings? Have you ever bothered to think that it is a necessity rather than a blatant disregard for my surroundings or an adolescent rebuttal?"

"It is irrelevant why you are Severus. The fact is that you should not be doing it, you are a teacher for Merlin sake, there is a war on, we need you in top health and well in mind. You are too valuable to the cause."

"It is not irrelevant! I may have offered my servitude to long ago but that does not mean that I am an empty husk, I need a release from the burdens you bring me. A release from the constant wall I have erected in my mind. To feel nothing, to drown my sorrows, to let me live my life for me for one moment. You take that out let away from me!"

"Don't blame me for your past misgivings Severus, you brought this on yourself. I thought you'd be use to this by now."

"You ignorance astounds me, have you forgotten your bequest? What you have asked of me? How pray tell does one prepare oneself for murder? My intoxication was for the ill-fated deformation of my soul that you have thrust upon me! You asked me only a fortnight's past and already you forget!"

"You alone know whether it will harm your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation. I asked this one great favour of you, Severus, because I will not have the Malfoy boy's soul ripped apart on my account. We both know he is destined to kill me. We have already discussed this, why must we repeat ourselves?"

"- Do you think I will walk from such an act smelling like daisies? I will be pushing daisies before I can even so much as utter-"

With the swift grace of a man one sixth his age, Dumbledore snapped his wand through the air and Snape froze in a body-bind, floating softly up-right in the air. Inches from the ground.

"Severus if you do not murder me I will haunt you from the grave for the rest of your days and there after, this I guarantee"

Snape could not retaliate and even if he had the capacity to move he would not have been in the frame of mind to react. Dumbledore had never resorted to magic against him. Not in a very long time. Dumbledore released a sigh and opened the windows back up and the light flooded back into the room. Snape visibly flinch as the brightness hit him, the body-bind slowly melted off his skin as Dumbledore released him.

"It fills me with regret to resort to such barbarities with our time together growing so short Severus but I must be strict with you. We must not fall from the lightened path,"

Rubbing his wrists awkwardly Snape a strange sense of vulnerability wash over him. He did not like it at all.

"I will not return what I have taken from you Severus it is for your own good. So, please embrace this opportunity I have presented to you and utilize the support of the staff. We are all in this together and believe me when I say my last behest of you does not come without my penitence."

Turning towards the door Snape made his way towards it.

"You must be the one to kill me Severus, it is the only way."

Reaching the door Snape paused a moment and considered Dumbledore's words.

_No, there are thousands of ways but this is the most convenient to you._

"I know Albus." replied Snape walking stiffly out of the room,slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**


	6. Keep Your Hands To Yourself

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Thank you to those who have commented and everyone seems to be hatin' on old Dumbledore, not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing. Little bit of comfort for our leading characters this Chapter.**

**Thanks to Sampdoria, TequilaNervous, cloudshape to ennien and Krista04 for your comments, I hope you like the updated chapters**

**WARNING - mentions of fellatio (hey! don't get too excited)**

**Polyplectron**

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**CHAPTER SIX**

_Keep Your Hands To Yourself_

~~oOo~~

* * *

Contrary to what Severus Snape believed, today was a perfect day - Perfect for Quidditch. The winter sun was shining brightly and slowly warming the Castles exterior. Birds chirped their morning greetings and the fresh scent of morning dew wafted across the Quidditch pitch. The breeze was refreshing - nippy - but refreshing. Hoards of bundled up Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and even a few Slytherins wandered down towards the pitch, wrapped in warms jackets and sporting pink noses. All were eager for an exciting game of Quidditch.

Hermione was bundled in her thickest Gryffindor red jumper, blue wash jeans, scarf and her favour woollen beanie her mother had knitted for her 14th birthday. It was one of the possessions she had salvaged after their relocation. She had made sure they were surrounded by their belongings to make the unconscious transition easier for her beloved parents. The beanie had become a little loose over the years but Hermione decided not to improve it with magic. Some things were best left the muggle way.

Walking down the cobble pathway towards the Quidditch pitch, Hermione turned back to see her companion bending over the foot path to inspect something hidden from view. She called to her.

"Luna, what on earth are you doing? We are going to be late for the game."

Despite the perfect day and the cheery dispositions of the eager Quidditch fanatics making their way to the stands she found herself less than enthusiastic. In reality it did not matter at all to her if they were late, her fascination for Quidditch was none existent and her attentions were focused on something else entirely. Thoughts of Professor Snape had been eating away at her all morning. With the help of Dreamless Sleep she had slept soundly but after waking up she felt completely and utterly exhausted while her wrist felt as if it had been bludgeoned. Hermione knew she should visit Madam Pomfrey but she did not want to risk running into Snape. Hermione shivered and wrapped her arms around herself to help fight the chill.

_Professor Snape is a nasty brute. Plain and simple. There was no reason for him to be so cruel to me, __there is no reason for him to hate me so much he barely knows me!_

Hermione's relationship with Snape was antagonistic from the moment they met. From her very first day at Hogwarts he had been nothing but dismissive and unkind to her because she was in Gryffindor and affiliated herself with Harry Potter. Snape saw her as an I_nsufferable-Know-It-All_and Hermione was conditioned by Ron and Harry to see Snape as a _Greasy Git_and _Overgrown Bat of the Dungeons_ which he lived up to exceptionally . But as Hermione got older she gradually developed an unsettling fascination. He possessed a high intelligence, an abundant knowledge of potions and spells and applied himself with strict discipline. These personal attributes were traits she admired in a person so logically she understood why she would find herself drawn to the enigmatic man but it did not explain her continued awareness of his habitual behaviours and sporadic benevolence.

Last year before term started she recalled watching Snape coming in and out of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place while the Order meetings were in session. Seeing him out of Hogwarts made her really re-evaluate him as a person, he was not just her teacher but a man, a man aiding in the fight for light at great personal risk. The first time their paths crossed was one evening after the boys had gone to bed, she had come down to fix herself some tea. Snape appeared out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of her, spilling tea all down her night gown, '_Evening Miss_ Granger', he had said,_'Appears I am less than punctual.'_and before she could respond he used Tergeo on her spoiled nightwear and disappeared without a moments hesitation. He must of been late for an Order meeting and his tardiness had caused her to barely sleep a wink that night.

The second time was when she was visiting Mr Weasley was recovering from Nagini's bite. Snape had come in to enquire about his health, an act that completely befuddled Hermione because Snape appeared nothing but contemptuous towards the Weasley family. It was moments like this that made her ruminate about her complex Professor. Snape's abstruseness at first intrigued her but now left her utterly frustrated.

_Snape was inside me, inside my head, I felt him perusing through my memories like I was a public archive and I have never felt so violated. I can only imagine what he must have thought of himself during class, he must of been so embarrassed no wonder he yelled at me to get out. Still, that is no excuse to hurt me the way he did, I can't believe he thought I had come to finish the job. Is he insane? Why on earth would I want to hurt him?_

Grinding a hole into the ground with her shoe Hermione released a long sigh that was lost in the sound of excitement and nature. Luna was still bent over the pebble path but had raised her arm in acknowledgement. Usually it was her waiting for Harry or Ron to hurry up not the other way around. How was she going to explain her wrist to Harry? There was no conceivable way she could confide in her friends but she knew that keeping it bottled up would cause it to manifest into something toxic.

_Maybe I should get a second opinion. I couldn't possibly Ginny she would overreact, and Harry will go ballistic if he finds out I went to see Professor Snape and he actually hurt me Harry will want to kill him. And Ron, . . . well I don't want to have anything to do with him for a while _

Hermione studied Luna, the girls dirty blonde hair was whipped wildly around her face and her dirigible plum earrings swayed back and forth in the wind. Luna had this ability to unsettle people with her eccentricity and dottiness. Over the years Hermione had found it difficult to get along with Luna, the girl received well above average grades and was actually quite astute but she possessed a misdirected intelligence that frustrated her to the point of a mental breakdown. Regardless she found herself walking with Luna today because they were under similar circumstances. Lacking friends. As coincidence would have it today was the day that Hermione would start seeing Luna as less than an awkward acquaintance and more of a potential companion.

Luna looked up from inspecting a mud patch and walked casually over to Hermione, "Oh sorry - I thought I saw Crumple-Horned Snorkack tracks. Although that does seem a little fatuous this is hardly the climate and the soil is too moist," her little pink nose poking out over the top of a massive blue scarf wrapped tightly around her neck, "There is something bothering you I can tell. Your breathing is louder and your nose is flaring"

"It's nothing really," sighed Hermione sadly.

"Have you injured your wrist? You seem to be nurturing it. You know Nargle pus is good for sprains but it is terribly toxic to humans but should you ever find yourself otherwise it will be good for you to know."

"Uh ok, thanks Luna."

Shouts of excitement gradually grew louder as the neared the pitch. Some younger students pushed past Luna and Hermione, knocking Hermione's book bag off her shoulder and spilling its contents, hitting her wrist in the tussle. Quickly they both scrabbled to regain her sprawled parchment and books while Hermione tried her best to shield her wrist. Sighing angrily, Hermione shoved the items back into her shoulder bag and thanked Luna softly for the items she had gathered.

"How rude! First years seem to get more and more self-absorbed every year."

"I blame the wrackspurts"

"What on earth is a 'wracksport?"

"Wrackspurt. They are invisible. They fly into your ear and make your brain go all fuzzy. Is your wrist alright?"

Hermione looked down at her hand and tried to move it, "I think so. Aches a bit"

"Why not use _Ferula _until it heals?" offered Luna helpfully taking Hermione's shoulder bag from her and putting her arms through the strap. The strap dug into her neck pushing her head forward and the bag pouncing against her bottom as they walked, she looked ridiculous.

_Oh I am so stupid of course I should use Ferula!_

Hermione produced her wand and cast _Ferula_ at her wrist. Bands emanated from her wand and wrapped tightly around her wrist to form a small splint.

"Good idea Luna, that feels much better"

Continuing their journey to the quidditch stands, they made their way around to the correct one and started their ascent. Their conversation had been rudely interrupted by the bumbling first years but Hermione still felt a need to confide in Luna. The top was already bustling with Gryffindor's and Ravenclaws alike and they took two vacant seats near the front, between Neville and Parvati. Neville smiled at them in greeting but was in deep conversation with Colin Creevy, who was asking advice for an up-coming Herbology test. The game had already started and Hufflepuff was in front. She could see Harry and Ron flying overhead. Ginny waved lightly at her then fully absorbed herself in the game.

"Luna I injured my wrist in the Hospital Wing," leaned in Hermione, indicating to her splintered wrist.

"Really? That is very ironic."

Nodding to acknowledge her, Luna took a 'Go Harry' sign out of her pocket, charmed it to grow twice its size and hung it over the edge of the stand. To Hermione's amusement it was bright purple and sported glittery yellow text that shone distractingly in the sunlight. A small illustration of a snitch bounced around the boarder of the sign.

"Uh, yes-well I went there for a Head Cure Potion because I had a terrible headache and I saw Professor Snape had been admitted. I decided to see if he was alright and I went to his cot and he . ." Hermione seemed to drone off and Luna, much to Hermione's surprise, grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Perhaps this is not the place, nor the time for such a conversation", suggested Luna lightly, "your brow is perspiring. Here," Luna offered her a pink doily as a handkerchief. Hermione accepted awkwardly and dotted her brow with it.

"Well Luna, I would still really like to tell someone about it. Would you like to come to my dormitory tonight for some peppermint tea? Hogsmeade weekend is tomorrow so Professor McGonagall would not mind another house member stayed over so late."

Luna's face looked bewildered and tucked her wand behind her ear. Her silvery grey eyes piercing Hermione's hazelnut, "Have a slumber party like friends do? I have never been to a slumber party before."

"Not really a slumber party Luna", she smiled awkwardly at Luna who deflated a little, "but we can Engorgio my bed and eat sweets if you like."

"Ok! I will bring my father's newest issue of the Quibbler even you will find this issue engaging. There is a whole spread on Wrackspurts and I'll bring my spectrespecs so you can see them."

Hermione smile was a little forced but found herself excited at the prospect of some quality 'girl time', after all she did spend majority of her time with Harry and Ron. There was only so much a girl could take when surrounded by boys constantly. Lost in the moment of newly sprouting friendship, she made the mistake of looking across the Quidditch pitch and her joyous mood was quickly dampened. Like a bucket on an open fire.

Two orbs of darkness stared menacingly in her direction.

Professor Snape.

~O~

The staff stand was surprisingly full. Snape had only managed to just squeeze his way grudgingly past Professor Sprout who attempted to smile at him. He ignored her, irritated by her lack of loyalty this morning and sat himself on the edge of the stand next to Professor Vector. Several of the professors shouted at Snape's arrival. Patting him on the back and welcoming him to the game. Snape flinched under their petting and tried desperately to avoid scrutiny.

"Thank you for the gift Severus!"

"Most generous of you!"

"I will be opening this one tonight I have a pile of essays to mull over and it will complement them nicely!"

Snape nodded gruffly in acknowledgement but refused to look at anyone directly. Dumbledore was not even there which did nothing stamp the growing fire in his belly. How dare Dumbledore subject him to the flattery of his cohorts, was he not embarrassed enough? Still Snape decided it best not to leave, no doubt McGonagall and Sprout would inform Dumbledore of his desertion and consequences would follow suit.

After leaving Dumbledore's office he decided against heading to breakfast and instead made a beeline for his quarters. Besides, he had specifically told Albus he was no longer be taking his meals in the Hall. Upon entering his quarters he felt an immediate emptiness and after rummaging for a good half hour and leaving nothing unturned he failed to find any alcohol, even the bottles he had hidden. The Headmaster would have looked in ever nook and cranny, except for his hope chest. The anglo-saxen carved chest was resting ominously where he left it and not even Albus would be able to open it without his consent. Snape was fortunate that the Headmaster had not confiscated it for dark magic was woven into the grain. Standing in front of the chest it had urged him to open it but he refused. Inside the box lay possessions that held no place in the life he lived, like muggle records, photographs and his chiengora sweater. The tempted to retrieve his forgotten garment was where he drew the line. Stubbornly he carried the chest into his bedroom, pushed it under his bed and left the room. Perhaps it was best that he attend the Quidditch game and stayed away from his lodgings for as long as he could.

Vector greeted him kindly and moved to sit closer to him, invading his personal space. "Nice of you to join us Severus, it is not often we see you attending a match that is not Slytherin" she purred

"Well Septima it seems I find myself here by forcible 'request' rather than of free will."

"How droll, lose a bet? No matter, coming to these games can have their benefits."

Snape seemed to have something nudging his leg. Not moving a muscle he allowed his gaze to lower and found Vector butting something against his knee. Before he could ask her what the hell she was doing a booming voice echoed around the pitch announcing the start of the game. Several players flew onto the field and rose in the air. He could see Potter serpentine between the Hufflepuff beaters.

_Yes today is a rotten day. . ._

Wrapping his robes around him more tightly he seethed at Vector.

"Keep your hands to yourself Septima I am in no mood for frivolities." He whispered furiously at her, not in the mood to draw unwanted attention, having had quite enough of it this morning in Dumbledore's office.

"I have no idea what you mean Severus" Vector looked innocently at him and applied more pressure on his leg, "perhaps you are imagining things."

Looking down he could see a miniature bottle of Moscato with a small note attached. At first he stared at it cautiously for a moment, completely baffled at the woman's gesture. Then he masked his face and swiftly ripped off the note and pocketed the bottle. Resuming his position of looking bored beyond recognition he risked a side glance at Vector and raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you for your generous offering of Firewhiskey Severus I had no idea you valued me as a fellow staff member, how delightfully touching." smiled Vector, changing the subject.

"Well by all means feel grateful Septima and do not allow me to hinder your _precious_ feelings"

"Don't you worry about that," Vector who smirked at him, "I'll feel quite content with some liquid courage. Unfortunately I find myself relying more and more on the sweet nectars of life ever since my husband passed so your gesture is appreciated."

Snape had never had much to do with Septima Vector. She was at least fifteen years older than himself and had never attending Hogwarts while he was at school. Arithmancy was her subject of choice and although that came hand and hand with potions he had never needed assistance with it for he was more than capable. He admitted she was quite well put together for a woman in her late forties.

"My condolences"

"Thank you. Ambitious fool was slain in a Leprechaun prank gone wrong, not so lucky after all. But not to worry drinking cures the pain, perhaps when I open your gift you would like to join me?"

"Septima!" A snippy voice interrupted the exchange, "Severus is engaging in sobriety and you should lead by his example instead of drowning your sorrows! How is it that we have so many alcoholics at Hogwarts? This is not Alcoholics Anonymous!"

The couple turned to see Professor McGonagall frowning down at them. Luckily she had not seen the exchange of contraband but had heard Professor Vector's confession of dependence.

Snape sneered at her, "Unsympathetic as always Minerva, it is most certainly _not_ anonymous considering you are outing Septima in public. Do you have an inane desire to be the centre of attention or do you so crave domineering over others who need no conditioning what-so-ever that you simply cannot help yourself?"

That seemed to ruffle some feathers. McGonagall stamped her foot and extended her hand forward, pointing at them and attracting the attention of several professors. "Now see here Severus! There is no need for such cheek, I was merely expressing my concern for Septima, really dear you should know better. Perhaps when you next feel the urge you should come enjoy my company in the staff study. I know the sadness of losing a husband all too well and it would be wise not to drown in a pot of your own sorrows. Giving out alcohol like it were sweeties was not the best idea you have ever had was it Severus?"

"Hardly my idea you spiteful crone as you are well aware." he spat noxiously.

_Apparently Minerva is seeking person retribution for attacking her precious Gryffindor._

Vector decided to throw water on the flames before it got too out of control. Minerva looked ready to draw her wand.

"Minerva that is a touching offer and I would love to join you in the study one night. I was merely thanking Severus for his gift. It is very courageous of him to give up an addiction in his adulthood. It comes harder to let go with age," said Vector through gritted teeth and flashing Snape a reassuring smile. No doubt he was dubious and was now re-evaluated the sincerity of her own gift.

Snape had now lost interest and glared vaguely out into the pitch, clutching the letter in his hands tightly. He was plagued with an overwhelming desire to read it but did not want to risk McGonagall confiscating it considering she was now breathing down the back of his neck. No doubt Dumbledore has instructed her to eye him like a vulture. Waiting for him to die before she swept in to pick at his remains.

Hufflepuff was ahead by four points which eased his temper because that mean Gryffindor was losing and if Gryffindor was losing that made for a sad Potter. A sad Potter made a happy Snape and a happy Snape was essential for his survival today. It would be the cherry on top if Gryffindor won so he metaphorically crossed his dexterous fingers they lose. Running his watchful gaze over the hundreds of animate faces, he landed on a very obnoxious looking sign. Seething he threw daggers at it.

_Go Potter? More like Fuck Potter. Hope he falls off his broom. . . . actually no, I'll have to jump in and save him. Like some guardian - Who on earth would design such a monstrosity?_

Raising his eyes, he found the culprit, or in this case, culprits. Miss Lovegood and Miss Granger.

_Miss Granger – the cause of my current frustrations, stupid Gryffindor, nosey, twit!_

Pushing the blame however could not deny the fact that perhaps he had been incongruous towards her persons. She appeared indubitable in her concern for him and he had acted incredibly terrible towards her. Upon closer inspection it seemed that her wrist was in a splint. The sight of her bandaged wrist made Snape feel strangely better, as if it was a small victory for the trouble she had caused him over the course of the week but he also felt strange. Did he feel remorse? It was not his fault he injured her, he had acted out of self defence and had no visible control. No amount of lying could make him believe that and in all honesty she had not really deserved his brutal assault. Briefly an image of her underwear danced across his mind and he mentally shook himself.

_That is less than appropriate but does add to the humiliation of it all._

From across the pitch, he stared long and hard at her, taking in her bushel of hair that whipped wildly under the confines of her woollen beanie. He scoffed. No doubt the young girl's concern for him was a product of Gryffindor pride. Being above all others and needing to justify themselves by helping the helpless and helpless he was not. Neither did he appreciate her gesture of good faith. Hopefully his actions would stop her from attempting reaching out to him.

Hazel eyes caught his own black orbs and on impulse he scowled. The girl seemed visibly stricken by their connection and looked away quickly, visibly pained. He lowered his gaze and his stomach growled. The untimely contraband hidden in the confines of his robes seemed to burn a hole through his pocket.

"Thank you Septima" he muttered low enough for no one to hear him.

Vector did hear. She smiled at no one in particular while McGonagall continued an onslaught of complaints.

~O~

Gryffindor had won the match. Harry had caught the snitch but it was Ron's performance that seemed to have won everyone's attention. Post-match, Luna and Hermione had made it down to the changing room to congratulate the boys and the atmosphere in the room was exuberant.

"Congratulations Harry" smiled Luna, giving him a small hug, Harry blushed at their contact, his glasses slightly a skewed and his hands awkwardly patting her back.

"T-thank you Luna, good of you to accompany Hermione to the game"

"Hey you lot! Party in the common room!" gleamed Cormac McLaggen, leering at Hermione. "You can come too you gorgeous minx, shall I escort you?" extending his arm for her to accept. Hermione gave him a glare that exuded hostility and he backed away, "saucy one you are. I'll see you up there then" he winked at her and left the change room in a mass exodus of rowdy and over excited students.

Once alone, Harry turned to address Hermione, "How come you have a splint on your wrist Hermione?"

Hermione appeared unprepared for questions but Luna interjected, "She was pushed over by some first years on the way to the Quidditch pitch, isn't that right Hermione?"

Harry looked at Hermione questioningly, his eyebrow rose, "Really?"

Trying her hardest to look sincere she agreed with Luna's alibi, "Yes but I am fine really," forcing a smile, changing the subject "shall we go up to the party then?"

As they walked out of the room, Hermione noted Ron's absence but did not enquire to where he was, she was so sick of him at the moment and he was most likely wrapped around Lavender at the party.

_I hope to Merlin he isn't, that is the last thing I would like to see right now_

~O~

Back in the common room, the party was in full swing when they arrived. Renewed cheers and shouts exploded upon their entrance. Several girls swooned on Harry asking for a moment of his time and handing him butter beer. Ginny quickly came over and shooed them off and welcomed the trio to a free lounge. Crookshanks had appeared out of nowhere and mewed at Hermione's feet. Harry seemed to be searching the room.

"Looking for Ron?" smirked Ginny, sitting down in between Luna and Harry. "He is over there locking lips with Lav-Lav, disgusting if you ask me"

Harry looked towards the corner she was indicating, as did Hermione from underneath her hair. She had bent over to pick up Crookshanks and now pat him in her lap. There in full view was Ron and Lavender, locking lips so hard that it appeared that they were eating each other. It was quite a sight..

_I guess it was bound to happen, I just wished I didn't have to witness it._

"Looks like he is eating her face doesn't it?" sighed Luna whimsically, "Is that normal or is Ron cannibalistic in nature?" She absent-mindedly accepted Crookshanks into her lap and stroked his back. He arched it in delight and Hermione stood from the lounge, her eyes down cast.

"Well he has to improve his technique somehow doesn't he? Good game Harry." Ginny grabbed Harry's arm in passing and wandered off to collect more butter beer. Harry stared at her fading figure then turned to address Luna and Hermione, only to find Luna smiling softly at him.

"I think she needs some time to herself", offered Luna, scratching the top of Crookshanks head, "Shall we partake in some butter beer?"

The suggestion seemed to be the smartest thing Harry heard all day. Nodding he rose and went to fetch them both a goblet each. From the corner of his eyes, Harry could see the portrait hole closing and a bush of brown hair passing through it.

~O~

Hermione ran out into the corridor hiding back tears. Finding an unlocked classroom she flew inside and slammed the door shut. She stood with her hand on the door for a few moments collecting herself. Unable to fight it any more, she shut her eyes tightly and turned around to slide slowly down the door to the floor. A heavy sob echoed around the empty room as she pulled her knees tightly towards her.

_I feel so alone. . . How could he just stand there and kiss that her in public_

Taking out her wand, she muttered an incantation and several yellow birds erupted from her wand and flew about the room. She smiled sadly to herself when she heard chirping, indicating her spell had worked. Looking up, the birds greeted her with fancy flight work. Bobbing between and evading each other.

Taking in a deep breath, Hermione rose from the floor and made her way over to a teacher's desk and sat behind it, the birds following her as she walked. With her wand, she commanded the birds to land in front of her on the table. There were six of them. All were identical and had the appearance of shiny plastic. Something she could improve on. Concentrating, she changed the colour of them from yellow to pink to red and then decided on black.

_Six little black birds standing in a row, it sounds oddly poetic._

The birds chirped and bounced around the table. Enjoying their new shade and engaging with each other appreciatively. Two of the birds started to dance around each other, as if engaging in some kind of courting ritual while the others began to play fight by attempting to peck at each-others legs.

_If only I could be a bird. Life seems simpler and all they do is eat and fly around. . . .But I hate flying. I would make a terrible bird. . ._

Hermione was interrupted from her thoughts when she heard the latch on the door seize open. Muttering _finite incantartum,_the birds disappeared in a puff of black smoke and she crawled down underneath the desk and hid from view. She heard two people enter the room and shut the door, hushed giggles and soft nothings were exchanged. Chairs scrapped across the floor indicating they had sat down.

"This room is empty Ron-Ron, now how about you show me that big wand of yours."

Lavender. That was definitely Lavender and Ron. 'Ron-Ron'. They thought the room was empty and Merlin knows what they were going to get up to in here. Hermione cringed at the awkwardness.

"Uh ok Lavender"

A fumbling of a zipper and a small gasp could be heard.

"Oh Ron-Ron its SO BIG!"

Hermione visibly blanched at hearing this. She remembered seeing the boys accidentally in the shower once and Ron was definitely not large enough to encourage such wanton behaviour. Not liking were this going she decided to act. Wiping back tears she had not realised were still pouring freely, she went to confront them but suddenly the door slammed open and the couple screamed. Hermione crouched back under the desk and sat further back and listening, her heart beat wildly in her chest.

~O~

Snape walked down the corridor towards Ravenclaw tower. He had considered drinking the bottle given to him by Vector but found Dumbledore's words echoing through his head. _~For the remainder of the school year you will be nothing less than sober~_ which had prompted him to leave the game before it finished. Gryffindor had been far enough ahead that their victory was inevitable and he couldn't stand to watch it for he would have most likely opened the bottle and consumed the whole thing in one swig. So he decided to leave the bottle in Vector's portrait and avoid her in the process.

Taking Vector's letter from his pocket he unfolded it to read her message:

_Severus_

_Thank you so much for your gift. It means a lot to me even though I know you did not send it yourself. Only a fool would mistake Dumbledore's handwriting for your own. You were quite the talk at breakfast and consider yourself lucky you were absent. The entire faculty (and myself) were welcomed to the High table with a bottle of Ogden's sitting on our seats. The note attached reads as such:_

_*Please accept this token of gratitude my valued colleague I am engaging in sobriety. Yours sincerely S. Snape_

_Ha! I can only imagine what you must have done to prompt this extravagant high-jinks. Considering Ogden's is seven galleons a bottle I assume they were from a personal collection and should I further assume that your punishment was for your 'indiscretion' in class on Monday. Yes gossip spreads like wildfire. The Headmaster does have unusual bigotry towards alcoholics. I myself have been commanded to pull in my head but not quite to the point where I find my belongings gifted to people I actively avoid daily._

_The Moscato is not much seeing as you as more than likely a hard-liquor man but let it be the start of your new collection. Should you ever like to associate with a fellow addict, Rolanda, Aurora and I meet in my quarters every Sunday evening for guilt-free gambling. Feel free to ask Edgar Strougler for Guilfrey Gambly._

_Watch out for Trelawny, she took the note and gesture quite personally._

_Kind Regards,_

_Septima Vector_

His predatory prowl slowed as he finished the sentence and read the letter over twice before shoving it into his pocket. The note had come as a surprise to him; it was awful nice of Septima to offer him the Moscato, that gesture alone was more than necessary. The woman knew straight away of the Headmasters handy work and her instinctive reaction was to award Snape with alcohol. Obviously she was not swayed by the Headmasters authority and the idea of Vector standing in front of Dumbledore chain smoking and downing bottle of firewhisky brought a sinister smile to his face. Scaring some children in their passing.

Thankfully she had written the absurd note Dumbledore had attached to the bottles, at least now he could place a context to the thank you's and congratulations that were smothering him where ever he roamed. How dare he put him in such a position after he complained that he was standing out too much. Now he was virtually in the spotlight. The entire faculty knew of his _sobriety_ and should he choose to drink he would no doubt be scalded and receive ample disappointments. Not that their opinions mattered he would just prefer no one to talk to him. Ever.

Passing several children he perked his ears to find an excuse to yell at them.

"Come on the party has already started!"

"I'll catch up I just have to get Ethan from the library where about is it?"

"Gryffindor tower, alright I will meet you out the front."

A party in light of Gryffindors victory was the last thing he wished to see so he decided it was high time he made his way back to his quarters. He could sit and stare at his new acquisition and write a list of all of the bottles he would purchase once Dumbledore relinquished his hold. Turning to head towards the stair case he heard a classroom door slam loudly. Curious he quickened his steps and came upon a classroom that was not being utilised for lessons this year. It used to be Flitwicks classroom until he moved into his larger one. Putting his ear to the door, he heard the recognisable sound of a zipper being pulled and a girl melodramatically sighing in appreciations

"Uh ok Lavender!"

_What the devil?_

"Oh Ron-Ron its SO big!"

_For this I will not put!_

Without missing a beat Snape latched on to the door handle and thrust himself into the room. Slamming the door behind him he found Lavender Brown bobbing up and down between the freckled legs of the Weasley boy who was leaning backwards over one of the tables. The sight blinded him with disgust, on impulse he withdrew he wand and aim it at the couple.

"Don't curse us!"

"What is the _meaning_ of this?!" shouted Snape furiously.

"Ah-shit let go Lavender"

"Explain yourselves!" he barked.

"W-well you see-"

"I was-"

"we were-"

"Cease your blubbering!" The couple stopped stuttering and looked at him ashamed, "What a disgusting display of carnal lust. Pull your trousers up you stupid boy and you wipe your face you silly girl. Do you think this is acceptable behaviour for students? One hundred points from Gryffindor, each. I should not have to sacrifice my leisure finding students with their trousers down their ankles and harlots hanging off their unmentionables."

"I am not a Harlot!" screeched Lavender, "I happen to be his girlfriend!"

"Regardless of your self-imposed status you still had your mouth stuffed with impropriety. We are not an institute for illicit behaviour and hormonal exploration –"

"At least I'm getting some." bit Ron angrily and Snape swore he heard a gasp from somewhere else in the room. A peeping-tom perhaps.

"What was that Mr Weasley? If _that_ is what _getting_ _some_is I consider myself lucky to be lacking. A month's detention with Filch shovelling Thestral manure should suffice for your audacity. Perhaps you should join him Miss Brown. No doubt I will have to consume forty galleons worth Forgetfullness potion to alleviate the horrors I have just been unfortunate to witness. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Now the both of you get out of my sight. Get out!"

The couple quickly composed themselves and made a beeline for the door. Ripping it open and slamming it behind them Snape could hear them careening up the corridor towards Gryffindor tower. He allowed a selfish grin to cross his face. Turning his attention back to the room he noticed a familiar outline of curly brown hair standing defiantly from its owners hiding place behind the teacher's desk. Approaching it slowly, he readied himself to deduct her for hiding in an abandoned classroom but decided against it for he found himself feeling pity for her.

Recalling his youth he remembered himself in a similar situation. It was almost a life time ago when he found Lily locking lips with James Potter in a nook not too far from the Slytherin common room. He believed Lily to be perfectly oblivious to their position and placed the blame on Potter, that he had intentionally chosen that exact place to cavort so he would see them. And he did. Breaking what little of his heart he had left. Lily had barely even noticed him. . .

Clenching his fists at the memory he approached the front of the desk and leant over it. The girl was curled up under the desk, her hair in disarray and sniffling as if she had been crying.

"Miss Granger."

The girl froze but did not look in his direction.

"Miss Granger?" His voice sounded stronger, more persistent.

Cautiously the girl crawled out from under the desk and stood up. Snape stared at her expectantly with his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised.

"Enjoying the theatrics were you?"

"No Professor, I was not" sniffed the girl.

The girl brushed down her robes and Snape took in her appearance. Her red jumper appeared ruffled and dark stains blemished her jeans, no doubt the floor was filthy. He must remember to inform the house elves. She was holding a small woollen beanie.

"May I enquire as to why you are hiding under a desk and eavesdropping on your _friend's_ less than sanitary activities or do you simple _enjoy_ spying on others?"

Wiping her nose, the girl plonked herself defeated into a chair behind the desk and held her face in her hands.

"No I wasn't spying" she bit angrily, "I was in here first! And then, then _they _came in here. . ."

Hermione started to whimper and despite all her stubbornness a few tears started to roll down the side of her face. Snape watched awkwardly as the girl tried her best to stop herself from crying but to no avail. He did not care for crying and he did not care to find himself, yet again, in a room with Miss Granger. It was as if this girl was haunting him. Did she not understand that he did not like her at all and had no desire to be near her and yet as circumstances would have it she happened to be in this classroom of all classrooms! The girls failed to stop herself from crying and started to weep, Snape considered just walking out. He had no desire to be seen with Hermione Granger when she was crying if someone were to see they would think he had something to do with it and Dumbledore would hit the roof. But he found himself grounded and watching her openly cry.

Crying was a weakness he had grown to despise. It was something he frowned upon when displayed in public and should he find himself in a position with a crying student he would avoid the issue by sending them to a female staff member like Minerva. But that seemed less than appropriate for this particular situation. At a young age Snape had been drilled with the notion that crying was solely for girls. Whenever Snape would cry Tobias would discipline him by forcing him to stand outside in the busy street until he stopped. One day he had been locked outside in the rain for complaining about his mothers absence. Tobias was watching him from an open window and would shouting obscenities at him. Eventually his tears mixed in with the rain and it all seemed a little pointless. Unbeknownst to Snape, Tobias took his quick composure as a direct result of his less than stellar parenting skills and never improved on them.

The unique discipline he received from Tobias did little to control his need to weep. At Hogwarts all he ever did was cry and that did wonders for his social life. From the moment he boarded the Hogwarts Express his destined nemeses Potter and Black coined the nickname _Snivellus_, that caught on quickly and stuck with him for the remainder of his schooling. Slytherin was very intolerant of weaknesses and as he grew older Snape was pressured to bottle in his feelings if he was ever going to survive in the snake pit. Just as well, for if he had not learnt to control his emotions his survival during his servitude with the Dark Lord would have been dubious. Now in his adulthood, he was much wiser and cunning and every now and then when it was assured he would be uninterrupted he would lock himself in his quarters, drink himself into oblivion and weep until his throat was hoarse and his eyes bloodshot. Snape could not stand the sound of crying and he would not tolerate Miss Granger's bawling for another second.

"Stop crying you silly girl" he muttered.

The girl rubbed the tears from her eyes and looked up into his face. She looked exhausted, no doubt the weeks happenings have been effecting her just as badly as they had him. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears that amplifying her pupils and illuminating the flecks of gold throughout her chest nut irises. They were very pretty eyes for such a plain looking girl.

"It is unfortunate Miss Granger that you found yourself in another unsavoury situation. Perhaps forcibly listening to such vile is sufficient punishment in itself."

"You are not going to t-take points from me Professor Snape?" she sniffed wide-eyed, wiping her face with her sleeve. Was she getting away from Professor Snape without demerits again?

Snape looked down his large nose at her, his eyes were dark and void of any insight into his inner monologue but the girl returned his gaze with gratitude and admiration. Not the desired effect but at least she had ceased her blubbering.

"It is not warranted this was after all an _accident_ was it not? Besides, I have taken copious points from Gryffindor this evening and I would surely regret giving your Head of House a conniption," _no I wouldn't,_"You should be grateful for the opportunity Miss Granger"

Hermione's eyebrows furrowed and she regarded him questioningly, "What do you mean Professor?"

"You should take this opportunity to invest your friendship in someone else worthy of your intellect. Clearly Mr Weasley was the wrong choice and I would advise against Miss Brown."

Before she could answer he turned and left the room but not without his signature swagger. He faintly heard her whispers of gratitude as he closed the door softly behind him, allowing the girl a much deserved moment of privacy. He did not know why he had given her such advice but if it stopped her from crying in the future the less chance he would have to endure it.

~O~

Hermione sat dumbstruck in an empty classroom.

_Worthy of my intellect? Does Professor Snape think I am smart?_

Absorbing the much desired approval of a teacher, Hermione gathered herself and sashayed through the empty classroom towards the door. Remembering she had promised Luna a sleep over and she had left her to entertain Harry alone. Without another thought towards the events that transpired she left with a small smile on her face.

She made a mental note to never ever enter this classroom for as long as she was at Hogwarts.

* * *

To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**


	7. You Are Being Irrational

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Shout out to Jally, Burnedx2, TequilaNervous, hendo2207, viola1701e, cloudshaped to ennien, Sampdoria and louisianagirl900 for your wonderful comments and for sticking with the story I hope enjoy the changes.**

**Hope you enjoy the story.**

**Polyplectron**

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**CHAPTER SEVEN**

_You Are Being Irrational_

~~oOo~~

* * *

The Gryffindor common room was relatively empty. Only a few people sat scattered around the room with the majority sitting around the roaring fire place. Mildly ardent chatter floated around the room and Hermione was intrigued about the events that transpired in her absence. Quickly wiping her face, just in case, and straightening herself she searched the room for her friends.

"Hermione, you missed the party! You'll never guess what happened"

Ginny beckoned Hermione over to a secluded corner in the Gryffindor common room where she, Luna, Harry and Neville sat huddled together on a curved velvet lounge. Neville motioned for Hermione to sit next to him but there was not enough room for her to sit. So Hermione instead summoned a singular arm chair and sat down in it comfortably, wrapping her arms around her. Crookshanks came out from his hiding place under the lounge and jumped up to join her.

"You should have seen her face Hermione. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen"

"Ginny that is not very nice, the poor girl was crying"

"She deserved it Neville, don't feel sorry for her"

Hermione looked from Ginny to Neville in confusion while scratching Crookshanks behind the ear. She looked to Harry and Luna for some in insight but they were seemingly engrossed in an upside down copy of the Quibbler.

"What on earth are you both talking about?"

"Lavender and Ron, should have seen her Hermione. Stupid bimbo flew into the common room crying and making a big scene. Then Ron came in after her and was trying to calm her down, saying something about Snape and then I tried to find out what was wrong and she had a go at me. Before I could hex her old McGonagall came in and broke up the party."

"I asked Ron what happened and he said that he and Lavender were busted kissing by Snape. Apparently they lost one hundred points each and I've never seen McGonagall so angry."

"She was furious more like it," interrupted Ginny, curling her ginger hair behind her ear and practically bouncing in her seat, "They came in here barely fifteen minutes before you Hermione, you must have at least seen McGonagall leaving. Snape won't be getting a good night's sleep tonight."

Trying her hardest not to smile, Hermione nodded in acknowledgement. Apparently Lavender had made quite the fool of herself and that made her feel elated. She remembered not moments ago being forced to listen to Lavenders vile actions and now she was receiving her comeuppance in abundance.

"Where are they now?" she asked politely

"Lavender is up in her room and Ron was trying to get up to the girls dormitory to see her but gave up and went to his room but the big question is where were _you_Hermione?" asked Ginny, "Harry said you left after Ron and Lavender were playing tongue hockey. Are you alright?"

"Did he now?" Harry looked up sheepishly from the publication at the sound of his name, "Yes I am fine Ginny – I was simply, trying to, um, that is to say I was avoiding McLaggen. I saw him making a beeline for me. Running seemed the only logical thing to do"

"Oh why didn't you say so? I would have told him to toss off, any excuse to throw a Bat-Bogey hex really. So where did you go?"

"Nowhere interesting" she lied. Where she had been was the epicentre of it all but she was not going to tell her friends why she had been there listening to Lavender give Ron fellatio in the first place or about her encounter with Snape. But she was even more anxious to talk to Luna about Snape and desperately needing to let out her feelings.

"Fine, don't tell me, I am off to bed. Hogsmeade weekend tomorrow and I am meeting Dean to sort out some _issues_. Goodnight."

Ginny rose from her place on the lounge and bit farewell to her friends. Hermione reached out and grabbed her hand in passing and gave it a supportive squeeze.

"Goodnight Ginny. Good luck with Dean."

Ginny smiled back at her, walking towards the girl's dormitories and disappearing up the stair case. With the seal broken, Neville also rose from his seat, said goodnight to everyone and disappeared up the stairs to the boy's dormitories. Hermione reclined deeply into the chair and pulled Crookshanks deeper onto her lap. Closing her eyes she smiled softly, for a moment forgot where she was and allowed her mind to wander.

_Professor Snape. I still cannot believe you let me off without so much as an aspersion. By all logical reason you should have taken at least twenty points from me for loitering in an abandoned classroom. Yet you seemed so understanding of my situation. I convinced myself not to waste my time deliberating on a senseless thug like you and then you surprise me with humility. You are an enigma that cannot be solved and it drives me insane. There must be a logical reason behind your sporadic disposition. I am still in a state of disbelief at the horrible things you said to Lavender and Ron. That alone is enough to make me want to throw my arms around you. . ._

"Hermione?"

"Huh?

"You fell asleep – are we going to have our slumber party now?"

Luna hovered over her with a delicate hand placed on her shoulder. Crookshanks had long disappeared from her lap and she was left alone with Luna in an empty common room. She must have fallen asleep and had no idea how long Luna must have been staring at her before deciding to wake her.

"Harry has gone to bed."

Helping Hermione to her feet, Luna put a supportive arm under her friend and together they walked towards the girl's dormitory

~O~

Equally ready to retire, Snape stalked down the stairs into the dungeons. He had quite enough of the today's exertions and was looking forward to collapsing on his bed and taking a necessary Sleeping Draught. Regardless of Poppy's warning to refrain from taking potions for at least a week, he felt it necessary. Besides if Snape wanted to take a potion there was no way in hell an old woman would deter him from doing so.

Rounding the corner to his office, he was welcomed with a sight most inconvenient. Draco Malfoy stood waiting from him, with his back against the door and his hands clenched to his sides. Without hesitation the boy looked up at the sound of Snape's footsteps and greeted his professor with a curt nod.

"Professor."

"Mr Malfoy."

"Do you have a moment?"

Snape brushed him to the side and unlocked his office door with his wand, he gestured with a jerk of his head for the boy to enter. His office was oval in shape. A gloomy and dimly-lit room with shadowy walls lined with shelves of large glass jars filled with slimy, revolting things, such as bits of animals and plants, floating in potions of varying colours. Directly in front of them stood Snape's desk, strategically placed to watch the entrance; behind the desk was lined with sharp objects and archaic- looking devices which in reality were used for specialised craftsmanship and not for torture. The desk itself was made of a dark mahogany and was covered with piles of student essays and tedious paperwork that he may or may not have been procrastinating over.

Gesturing for Malfoy to take a seat, Snape levitated the mess of paper over to an oblong table he used for his extra-curricular activities. Malfoy sat and twitched in his chair, visibly uncomfortable with being in a closed space with his professor. Snape had been finding it difficult to reach out to him. Lucius Malfoy's incarceration has caused Draco to avoid him like the plague as if personally blaming Snape for his father's absence. Even after Narcissa informed her son of Snape's Unbreakable Vow, Draco still refused his aid, claiming that Snape was only risking his life to usurp his favour with the Dark Lord. Such a jealous child. A naive little boy.

Snape took residence in his leather back chair and intertwined his fingers.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Draco?" raising his eyebrow at the gaunt young man in front of him.

"Hardly a pleasure Professor"

Snape suppressed a growl and tried again, "Well then Mr Malfoy to what do I owe this visitation?"

The statement was dripping with forced pleasantness and caused Malfoy to bristle despite his authoritative stance. He was a mere boy after all and Snape was in no mood for impudence from anyone, let alone one of his own Slytherins'.

"Professor Slughorn told us this morning that he is taking over as Head of Slytherin but I wanted to come and ask you myself."

Snape was a little caught off guard and the sudden anger he felt flitted across his face. Malfoy smirked.

"So it's true then."

The silence that followed was intimidating and it allowed Malfoy to re-evaluate his decision to gloat Snape's dismissal of Head of House. It wasn't that Malfoy hated Professor Snape, he had always admired him and was a close family friend but he resented how easy Snape seemed to have it. The Dark Lords right hand man, Head of Slytherin, ability to make Potter's life a misery and no family or friends to hold him back. Something had to give, if anything it made Malfoy happy to see Snape suffer an injustice, just like he had when his father was taken to Azkaban and his godfather did nothing to stop it. Not to mention seeing Snape being taken out by Potter and the Mudblood had in a small way been a pleasure to watch. Snape continued to stare angrily at Malfoy's smug face. How dare the brat come into his office and shove this malfeasance in his face.

"Is that all?" Snape said monotonously.

"No actually, I wanted your opinion on something."

"And what would that be?"

"Well how do you think the Dark Lord would react if I told him that Potter and a Mudblood managed to knock out his right hand man?"

Snape raised an eyebrow at him. Was Malfoy really that foolish?

"I know that when the Dark Lord is presented with useless information that is not relevant to tasks allocated to said individual relaying the information he would simply use the Cruciatus curse and then, if they could manage to walk afterwards, send them on their way. Does that answer your question Draco?"

Malfoy did not answer and sat quietly, silently seething at his professor. The answer did not sit well with Malfoy one little bit and at the mention of the Unforgivable curse sent shivers down his spine, although he had never been on the receiving end of the curse he had witnessed it in action too many times to count.

"Draco if I did not know any better I would say you have come here to black mail me. Didn't go according to plan did it? Such a shame, perhaps you should concentrate more on your studies and your mission rather than create trouble for yourself."

Snape was not an imbecile Malfoy would gladly thrown him under in an attempt to gain a favour. Any rational Death Eater would have. Yet Snape knew the boy was not here to improve his grades either, although he should strive to improve them. Draco was a very clever and innovative boy when he applied himself. The boy twisted the knife in deeper with his comments of Slughorn's usurpation. After all Snape had been Head of House for over ten years and you could not blame him for feeling slightly sentimental.

"I can look after myself!"

"Oh yes and would you be able to look after yourself when the Dark Lord rains hellfire upon you for wasting his time?

"You are just trying to scare me, to spin this around so I do not tell him how pathetic you were, you should be begging me not to tell him, you should respect me, I tried to save your life you know!"

"And I thank you for your assistance Draco but this is foolishness. What would your mother say if she knew you were trying to black mail me, besmirching my name won't bring your father back."

"Don't you talk about my parents!"

"Enough Draco," Snape barked. His temper reaching boiling point, "You are blinded by anger."

"Stop telling me what to do."

"This is my office Draco and under this roof you will do what I ask and if that is not agreeable then there is the door."

Snape gestured to the door, he had enough of this lunacy, the boy was obviously worked up and Snape had not the time nor the capacity to handle him. It was time Malfoy left but as Draco turned his head to the door at his gesture, Snape took a chance and attempted to enter Malfoy's mind to find out why the boy was frazzled. It was obvious the boys initial intentions had not yet surfaced, he was after all a crafty Slytherin. But Snape's efforts were halted by an invisible wall and two defiant icy eyes piercing into his own.

"Don't!"

"Ah, I see Aunt Bellatrix has been teaching you Occlumency. What thoughts are you trying to conceal from me, Draco?"

"I'm not trying to conceal anything!" bit Draco, "You should learn to mind your own business, my thoughts are not your concern"

"If you are so fear my interference then why are you still here? What do you want?"

Malfoy shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a crumbled piece of paper. Shooting Snape a dark look, he reluctantly handed his superior the parchment. Flattening it distastefully on the desk Snape frowned at the boy's familiar scrawl. Snape was in no mood to dally around tonight, not after the events he witnessed with Miss Brown and Mr Weasley.

_I am in dire need of a some empty vials for which to empty my mind and the Moscato will need to be chilled. . ._

"The Ministry keeps intercepting my owls to mother," said Draco spitefully, "and she refuses to send me anything of _value_. Of course I have other ways of obtaining these_items_ but mother insists I utilize you considering you are putting your _life_on the line."

Snape took the list from Draco's hand and read the ingredients listen.

"Narcissa is wise to send you to me. Should you simply request or receive any of these items through improper channels you would most likely be expelled or investigated. Ashwinder eggs, peppermint, moonstone and rose thorns; you are intending to brew a love potion. A love potion Draco?" asked Snape incredulously.

"This is why I did not want you involved!" interrupted Draco. The boy rose from his chair and went to snatch the note from Snape's hand, Snape retracted it effortlessly. "You would question me, think I am stupid and say I have no idea what I am doing! It is none of your business what I am doing!"

"I can't consciously give you these ingredients Draco as it is obviously for a love potion. Those under the influence of such a brew show easily identifiable symptoms, a cure is effortless and finding the culprit is easily done. You will be expelled!"

"So expel me! Report me to Dumbledore because I have already made it twice before and I will do it again, with or without your help."

There was a pause, and then Snape said, "You know perfectly well that I do not wish to do either of those things."

"You better stop telling me what I can and can't do then and just give me the ingredients without question. I shouldn't be telling you this anyway!"

"Listen to me," said Snape, his voice so low that he was surprised at himself for not lurching over the table and strangling the life out of the boy himself for his audacity, "I am trying to help you and I swore to your mother I would protect you-"

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!

"Severus? Severus! Severus Snape, open your infernal door this instant!" came a furious roar from outside his office door.

Snape and Draco turned at the large racket coming from the other side of the door, almost coming off its hinges at the powerful onslaught of knocking. Motioning to Draco to stand he pocketed the note and placed a firm hand on the boys shoulder, pinching it almost painfully.

"I will see to it that you receive your _requirements_ Draco but I would advise you to reconsider your future plans concerning the Dark Lords wishes, for he does not care for love and he _especially_ doesn't appreciate those who waste his time. Let me be very _clear_ on that."

Pushing him to the side Snape pulled out his wand and drew the door open to reveal a frightfully mad McGonagall, hair pinned in rolls and wearing a tartan patterned dressing gown.

"You best be off to bed Mr Malfoy I will be detaining Professor Snape for the remainder of the evening, goodnight to you."

Pulling Draco out into the corridor McGonagall flew into Snape's office and the slammed the door behind her. Leaving Draco a little more than neglected in the empty dungeons. Smoothing down his hair the boy walked dejectedly into the darkness.

~O~

Hermione and Luna entered the sixth year dormitory to find clothes and items thrown all over the place. Socks dangled from bed tops, books lay scattered in piles and bits and pieces were flying through the air. In the core of the chaos sat Lavender on her bed. Make-up smeared all over her face and eyes glassy. Parvati sat to her right, a hand softly comforting her by patting Lavender on the knee and stroking her back with the other.

"H-he *hic* he called me a h-harlot Parvati! A *hic* harlot in front of my R-Ron-Ron, w-what I w-was doing *sniff* with my b-boyfriend was none of his business!"

"How awful, he was probably just jealous Lavender; Professor Snape is so ugly I doubt anyone would want to touch him. Please stop crying"

"So ugly! That face and that nose *hic* his hair it is so greasy, it is not like it is hair to get a decent potion to degrease your hair, you of all people should know that Parvati. Remember how oily your hair used to be? I can't believe he–you! How dare you come in here, get out!"

Hermione and Luna stood motionless in the door way. With a look of pure defiance, Hermione grabbed Luna's hand, shut the door behind them and made their way over to her bed to enlarge it.

"Luna and I are going to have a slumber party so keep it down please your moaning is giving me a headache"

Luna used engorgio on the bed and it grew from a modest single to a slim queen. Big enough for them both to lie comfortably on but not large enough to encompass the room and encroach on the other inhabitants.

"Don't act so innocent! It is entirely your fault Ron-Ron and I have detention for a month!"

Hermione was in the process of taking off her filthy jumper and beanie when Lavender's comments caused her to flip around to face the sobbing girl.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I knew you were there!" said Lavender with sincere smugness.

"You knew I was there?" hissed Hermione.

"Of course I did," smirked Lavender, "Why do you think I chose that classroom? I saw you run out of the common room and I decided to follow you and Ron-Ron was _more_that eager to come with me. Did you enjoy the little show? Ron-Ron loved having my mouth around his-"

Hermione thrust her wand under Lavender's chin, halting the girl's wanton words.

"You are a filthy girl Lavender Brown and you deserved every punishment Professor Snape gave you and more. In fact, listening to Snape berate you for your _mouth stuffed with impropriety_ was one of the highlights this evening. Your despicable attempts to upset me have failed and you have more or less embarrassed yourself because I do not fancy Ronald!"

Lavender was left gobsmacked at Hermione's recovery and huffed indignantly. Parvati's mouth hung open in disbelief at the new information that presented itself. She was under the impression that Ron and Lavender were holding hands in the hall way when Snape found them. She had no idea Lavender was getting _physical_with him for Hermione's benefit.

"Ron?" Came Luna's whimsical voice, "He says very funny things sometimes, doesn't he? But he can be a bit unkind, I noticed that last year-"

"My Ron-Ron is NOT unkind!" screeched Lavender, rising from her place on the bed and pushing Hermione's wand away from her, "He is sweet, handsome and wonderful and I love him! I love him and he loves me and we are going to get married and have lots of _pureblood_children. You are just a weirdo and you-" turning to face Hermione, "you are just a jealous little _bitch_ stay away from me and my Ron-Ron!"

Lavender stomped past Hermione, flew out the door and ran down the stairs. Parvati quickly rose from the bed and ran after her friend, closing the door behind her. Needless to say, Hermione was more than a little shocked at the girl's outburst. Instinctively throwing up a silencing charm and warding the room, Hermione crawled up onto her bed with Luna who bounced ardently.

"What a peculiar girl," said Luna, "her head must be bursting with more Wrackspurts than I thought. Maybe someone should help her."

"Don't worry about her Luna," muttered Hermione, conjuring some tea cups, a tea pot and peppermint leaves, "she is beyond help"

"oh," Luna pointed her wand at the tea pot and filled it with hot water, "does this happen every slumber party?"

"No I don't usually have slumber parties. I don't have many girlfriends. . ." confessed Hermione. She pulled a bag of sweets from her side table and opened them. She reclined against a large pillow and offered Luna a sweet while the pale girl poured the tea.

"I don't have any girlfriends either," smiled Luna, "so what was it you wished to tell me?"

Hermione accepted her tea cup and basked in the scent of peppermint.

"Perhaps I should start from the beginning"

~O~

Snape leered at McGonagall pacing up and down in his office. The woman had the nerve to denounce him in front of a student and then lecture him about appropriate behaviour. Not only that, but she was most likely oblivious to the underlying reasons why her Gryffindor's were disciplined so severally, otherwise she would of found it justified and would be yelling at them instead of him.

"Minerva sit down, you are being irrational"

"Irrationality is why I am here, imagine my surprise to see the Gryffindor Hourglass in my quarters deplete considerably while enjoying my evening tea. Two hundred points! Two hundred points, did you come away from this morning's discussion about your animosity for nought?"

"Mr Weasley and Miss Brown were lucky not to evoke expulsion"

"Expulsion?! Hand holding does not constitute expulsion, I'll admit it is a little more than inappropriate at Hogwarts to engage in innocent intimacy but surely you have taken this to extremes."

"_Innocent intimacy_? What exactly did your _precious_ Gryffindors tell you transpired? Your lack of agreement leads me to believe that they did not confess to cavorting on tables and indulging in fellatio as their reasons for the disciplinary action taken."

McGonagall stopped pacing and threw a hand over her mouth in shock. Snape smirked as she tried to string together a coherent sentence and overcome her complete surprise. As if appearing to teeter, Snape stood and gestured for her to sit in the chair were Draco had been sitting not moments before. Gingerly she accepted and smoothed down a stray lock of hair.

"They did WHAT?!"

"I caught them in an abandoned classroom. Certainly _energetic_ from the frivolities you allowed post victory and decided exploring their less than sanitary and disgustingly hormonal feelings was necessary. Naturally I was appalled as one would be when-"

"Enough! You need _not_ go into details. And no one else saw them?"

Snape sat quietly in his chair. He did not want to tell McGonagall Hermione had been there. Not exactly sure if it was out of pity or guilt, Snape addressed McGonagall with masked features.

"No."

"Well," started McGonagall, rising shakily from her seat, "my apologies Severus, it seems your actions were more than justified. But I am afraid you should have brought them to me instead of taking charge of their punishment. They are after all students of my house and I should like to punish them accordingly myself. Tomorrow I will inform Albus and he will decide on a course of action. Goodnight Severus"

Standing proudly McGonagall made her way out of Snape's office, letting the door click softly behind her. Watching her retreating shadow, he cast several of his usual locking wards on his office door. Snape felt the bottle of Moscato burning against his leg. Reminding him that it was indeed there and it was more than ready to be opened. Rising from his seat, he tapped his wand twice on a small snake sculpture on one of his shelves, slowly a passage way revealed itself in the wall, covered in rows and rows of books and ambiguous items. Making his way down the corridor he muttered a charm and the entrance to the corridor closed behind him.

~O~

From the amount of sweets they had eaten Hermione believed she had been talking non-stop for two hours about her terrible week. She of course started with her and Harry accidentally knocking Professor Snape out in class, then her run-in in the Private Ward and finally him finding her under the table tonight. Luna was quite a good listener and loved Hermione's stories. She never interrupted like Harry would always do, she did not need things explained to her like Ron needed and she was not judgemental like Ginny always was. Hermione could not have picked a better person to regale her woes to and now she sat and waited with a heavy stomach and sticky fingers, for Luna's advice.

"You must think I'm mad," said Hermione, "obsessing over a teacher."

Luna licked sweetie residue off her fingers and sighed happily.

"No you're not mad. You're just as sane as I am"

That did nothing to comfort Hermione in the slightest but she appreciated Luna's attempt to make her feel better.

"I still don't understand why I keep obsessing about it."

"Life is nothing without a little obsession."

"My life can do without this kind of obsession Luna, it's completely inappropriate!"

"Daddy says that anything inappropriate is worth investigating, that is how he discovered the benefits of owl droppings"

Hermione burst into fits of giggles.

"Oh Luna! That is revolting!"

Luna stared bewildered at Hermione's laughter. It had been an honest statement, not that Luna had ever saw the benefits of owl dropppings but she had always respected her Father's wisdom. After Hermione realised her giggles were inappropriate, she apologised and they fell into a comfortable silence.

"You know your obsession might be stemming from your compulsion for approval."

"I beg your pardon?" said Hermione abruptly.

Seeking approval was something she was not unfamiliar with and at a young age Hermione had always strived to achieve her best to gain the attention of her parents. Both being dentists they lived a busy lifestyle and had little time to think about raising a family. So it was completely to their surprise when her mother became pregnant with Hermione and was dubbed their 'happy little accident'. The idea that her parents had not intended to have her, motivated Hermione to prove her worth to them, even if they loved her unconditionally. So naturally when she came to Hogwarts and found out she was another exception, a muggleborn, her strive for approval consumed her daily life. Studying day in and day out to prove she was worthy of being a witch and a great one at that. Still, Hermione did not appreciate it when it was insinuated by others. It need not be said.

"Approval. You said that Professor Snape has never approved of you. Since he is not disciplining you like he would a normal student you are subconsciously turning it into a gesture of favouritism."

"No I'm not. Professor Snape doesn't like anyone!"

"That is unless you find yourself attracted to him. It is not uncommon in the Wizarding world for younger women to fall for older wizards, Mummy was eight years younger than Daddy-"

"I am NOT attracted to Professor Snape Luna that is absurd!"

"You must though. Its the only logical reason why you would be obsessing above him and you asked for a logical explanation, you wouldn't believe me if I told you Wrackspurts were making your brain go fuzzy, I should have brought my spectrespecs then I could have shown you."

Hermione sat a little disturbed on her side of the bed, her tea long forgotten and resting on her side table. She was not attracted to Professor Snape and she was not _that _desperate for approval. In fact she never really liked anyone. Victor she had found roguishly attractive but lacked basic communicative skills. Ron was handsome and funny but after the last week she knew him to be a complete ass. Professor Snape was-well he was not the most attractive person, he was twice her age and a snarky, mean man. Distractedly she look down at her wrist and was pleased it was feeling much better than it had this morning.

_How could I possible be attracted to Professor Snape of all people. Luna is loony, Luna is crazy, Luna is illogical and believes in things that have no grounding evidence. So she must be wrong when she insinuates I am attracted to him. . . I couldn't possibly. No it's completely inappropriate. No, just no. no. no. no. no. no. He is mean, vile and. . . .and really clever, and can be kind because I have seen it, and there is more to him than what meets the eye and I need to know what it is! AH! No no no no stop it Hermione you should be concentrating on helping Harry and studying for your NEWTs not obsessing!_

"I know that look," smiled Luna interrupting Hermione from her thoughts, "You are thinking a mile a minute, if you don't slow down you'll miss the important ones! By the way I am enjoying this slumber party Hermione it is like having a real friend. Even if you do have Wrackspurts."

Hermione tried her best to hide her annoyance and smiled,

"You are my friend Luna but I am telling you now I am not attracted to Professor Snape"

"Yes you said that before."

"Well I am just - putting it out there."

Luna yawned loudly and settled down into the covers. As the night grew older they both made their way under the sheets with Crookshanks resting contently in between them. He had been hiding underneath Parvati's bed the whole time and ventured out when he detected the smell of sweeties. Hermione felt bad about feeling angry about Luna's opinion on the matter, after all she had asked for it. Not only that but she felt terrible about Lavender calling Luna a weirdo and leaving her in the common room.

"Sorry I left you with Harry in the common room, Luna."

"That's ok I am used to being left behind. Harry invited me to a party. Nobody ever asked me to a party before and he seemed a little embarrassed to do so. Am I supposed to bring something to a party, I forgot to ask."

"Harry invited you to Slughorn's Christmas party?"

"Yes I think that was what it was called."

"That's nice of him Luna," Hermione smirked, "He must fancy-oh gosh I have completely forgotten to ask anyone. Who am I going to bring?"

"Is it customary to bring someone?"

"No I don't think so"

"Then why not go by yourself?"

"I did not even consider that as an option."

Luna reclined her head back into the pillow and closed her eyes.

"Perhaps you could ask Professor Snape if he would like to go."

Hermione shuddered at the thought of her timidly asking her professor if he want to attend a party with her, getting rejected instantly and doused with a revolting concoction designed to hurt or humiliate her.

"Funny. I think I will go by myself thanks Luna"

Gradually the girls fell asleep, curling either side of Crookshanks like a protective cocoon The half-kneazle never felt happier and silently wished this to be a nightly occurrence, especially in these growingly colder nights.

~O~

The Moscato was from Australia of all places. Why Vector has a bottle of Moscato from Australia was a mystery to Snape but perhaps it should have stayed there. Not quite the connoisseur of wine, he preferred heavier brews and he was finding this Moscato much too fruity for his liking. Downing the entire bottle over the last half hour had not been the best idea he had all night either. Snape's stomach curled agitatedly and he had yet to finish the plate of food he had forced Winky to bring him not ten minutes ago, he had doubts about finishing it. So instead he sat brooding on his four poster bed with his legs cross and staring daggers at the hope chest he pulled out from under his bed.

The chest originally belonged to Tobias, he had purchased it from a gypsy vendor who was passing through Cokeworth one afternoon in 1967. He had taken a liking to the intricate carvings, over paid for it and used it to hide important things inside. Things that his overly curious and sticky beaked son was not allowed to touch. Coincidentally, it was this very chest in which Snape had found the chiengora sweater in the first place.

Snape's acquisitiveness eventually got the better of him and decided to open it. The dark magic he had ingrained into the wood had been an innovation of his own design. Only with his own blood could the chest be opened. It had been some of the very first dark magic he had begun to manipulate and he had been so proud of himself. Dragging the chest towards him he flipped back a bronze shield covering the lock revealing a small platform no bigger than his thumb. Taking the knife off his unfinished plate he licked it clean and sliced a small incision into his index finger. Placing his finger on the platform and he felt a familiar rush through his body as dark magic began to draw his blood into the grain. The blood ran through the grooves in the cravings until the entire hope chest was outlined with thick fluid. On cue a loud click resounded around the room, Snape faintly removed his finger from the platform and flipped the lid open.

The hope chest did not hold any items of monetary worth but what little was there was of sentimental value. In the holiday period, the Dark Lord had burdened Snape with Peter Pettigrew's presence, for reasons Snape could only explain as a watchful punishment. Not one to advertise his life, Snape had collected what items he felt were necessities and sealed them in the chest with the rest of his suppressed memories and weaknesses. As he shuffled through the items he found several things he had put in during his early twenties. Some records, a small felt case containing his muggle grandfather's war medal, several bundles of muggle and wizard photographs, a shrunken chest full of potion tools and a small black diary resting on top that belonged to his mother, a shoe box with 'Lily' written on it, several Dark Arts books that were illegally acquired, a dark curio, several bound letters, an unopened brown package, a plethora of labelled vials filled with memories and other paraphernalia he had acquired throughout the course of his life.

Running his hand along the corked memory vials he pulled out one of them. Rotating it slowly in his hand he read his mother's familiar penmanship, _1962-Lysergide Philter Test One._ Gently he placed the vial back in the chest a pulled out more one by one to inspect them, _1963-Empathogenic Philter Test One, 1965-Hallucinogenic Philter Test Five, 1962 – Felix Philter Test One (Fail),1965-Mar/Extract Philter Test Three,__t_here was over twenty vials pertaining to this nature and documented his mother's illicit creations. Eileen Prince came from a long family of Potioneers that were known for their inventiveness and obsessive natures towards innovation and progress. As such, Eileen had a penchant for creating psychological enhancing potions that would heighten the drinkers experiences. Together, Eileen and Tobias had ran a series of underground illicit potion trades to wizards and muggles alike from London to Dublin. Snape had never viewed the memories, for he had once seen the result of a testing first hand himself and it had not been enjoyable. Keeping the vials was simply to pay homage to his mother's praxis regardless of their intended purposes.

Slowly he shuffled his belongings around until he found a medium sized item wrapped in butchers paper and hemp twine. Pulling it out he unwrapped it to reveal the *chiengora sweater. It was exactly as he remembered it and it felt even softer than it had in his dreams. Burying his face in it he was welcomed with a sense of comfort and home, it confused him how a garment could provide such a feeling considering it reminded him of his broken childhood. Maybe it was because it was the only evidence that Tobias had been nice to him but that kind of sentimentality left Snape beside himself. Deciding against putting it on Snape folded the garment on the bed next to him; after all it did try to choke him to death.

Having satisfied his inane curiosity he went to close the chest but found his attempt waning. Instead he reached in and extracted a *Bill Withers record and the shoe box labelled 'Lily'. Scanning the room he found a large jar he was planning to use for specimens, summoned it and transfigured the jar into a turntable. Removing the record from its paper cover he placed it gently on the turntable. Throwing several silencing charms over his bedroom he tapped the turntable twice and charmed the record to spin. Music began to fill the room and Snape's shoulders sagged as the familiar song began.

_~Aint no sunshine when she's gone. . . it's not warm when she's away. . . aint no sunshine when she's gone and she's always gone too long any time she goes away~_

Not many people knew that Bill Withers was a half-blood wizard. Snape had saved for months to purchase the record for Lily as a gift but by the time he had summoned the courage to give it to her she had grown weary of the song. Rising from the bed Snape shut the lid of the chest and watched his blood ooze from the grain and seep into his sheets. Pushing the chest under the bed he muttered_tergeo_ and removed the blood from the stained sheets. Perching himself on the bed, he methodically placed each item he had extracted in front of him. Running a quivering hand through his hair he tried to talk himself out of opening Pandora's box labelled 'Lily'.

"I must not open this box," he muttered, "It will be my undoing. All my years of Intelligence training and my disciplinary Occlumency will leave me. I will not be able to leave this room for days and Dumbledore will be sure to find me, make an example of me. Or perhaps he will be merciful and kill me. If I could be so lucky."

_~Wonder this time where she's gone. . . wonder if she's gone to stay. . . ain't no sunshine when she's gone and this house just ain't no home, any time she goes away.~_

The box found its way into Snape's hands. It was worn, dusty and had several novelty stickers with slogans like _Leaves you breathless_ and _Flick your Bic_ that he had tried to scratch off by hand. It was relatively light but weighed heavily on his heart. Dumbledore had not allowed Snape to attend Lily Potter's funeral, whether it was a sick punishment or out of inappropriateness Snape had never bothered to ask. It had not really mattered, only the fact that he had been barred saying his last farewell resonated with him. Instead at Dumbledore's instruction Snape had been told to alleviate himself of any personal affects pertaining to Lily as they would become distracting during his training. This box held everything that ever meant anything at all to him.

_~. . I know, I know, I know, hey, I oughtta leave young thing alone but ain't no sunshine when she's gone. . .~_

"I really need something stronger than this piss Vector gave me. Need some firewhisky. . ."

Slowly Snape's eyes drifted shut to the music and he saw her.

"Lily."

A few inches away from his face, vibrant hair floating angelically around her face and her eyes were wide and life like, it was painful to look at. Stubbornly he kept his eyes shut and the woman lowered her hand to the box and rested her hand over it. The pity in her eyes was antagonizing but her message was clear. Nervously Snape placed his fingers over the box and willed with every fibre in his being to feel the forgotten flesh of his friend but was sadly welcomed by the worn cardboard. He drummed his fingers to the beat and tried to distract himself from his reopened heart ache. Lily never knew how much he loved her. How could he have told her? A coward was what he once was. If the years of training and hardship had taught him anything it is that it is not honourable to be a coward, nor is it wise.

The woman sneered at him but her heart appeared not in it. Snape knew that this projection of Lily was a product of his own imagination. For means of self-punishment and torture. Opening his eyes, he ripped the lid of the box and looked inside. Pandora's box had never looked so organised and for such a tiny space Snape certainly knew how to utilize it. Full, quite full and systematically organised, there was photographs, letters; given and stolen items and a small glass jar with a wilted flower inside it. Exactly how he had left it. Breathing heavy Snape distractedly reached out for his sweater and dug his hand into the soft fibres.

_"_A relapse was inevitable."

_~. . . aint no sunshine when she's gone . . only darkness when she's gone~_

As Snape rummaged through the forgotten relics, the record continued to spin on loop and the candles burned until there was no more. There was no turning back.

* * *

To be continued. . .

~~oOo~~

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**

**Notes:**

*****Chiengora is yarn or wool spun from dog hair

*** **watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo


	8. Please Don't Kill Me

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger pairing is not canon, there is an age difference of almost twenty years (please consider wizarding standards) and are in a student/teacher dynamic.**

**Thanks to .545, dragoon109, Jally, TequillaNervous, LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgirL, AL(Italian girl) and hnwhitlock2000 for your comments glad you are enjoying the story.**

**Polyplectron**

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

_Please Don't Kill Me_

~~oOo~~

* * *

The writing was spidery, he recognised it as his own penmanship and with it a memory of urgency came to mind. The letter had been sealed over fifteen years ago but Snape could still remember the message it contained. He opened it anyway. After all it was addressed to him.

_Severus_

_Dwelling on the past does not bode well. Leave it alone and don't remember._

_S. Snape_

_1982_

A fist closed around the parchment. The note had been attached to a large bundle of undelivered letters addressed to Lily. The warning did not go unacknowledged but still he felt a need to defy his former self, yet at the same time he felt it was unwise. A final decision allowed him to continue perusing through the rest of the items, ignoring the bundle of letters and dwelling on the events that propelled him through years of burden.

~O~

_Hogwarts 1982_

_"I know you are still settling in here and all but seeing as you will be Horace's predecessor you may as well see what you are in for. You will be in charge of disinfection duties until Horace feels you are ready to begin educating. He hopes to retire by the end of the year it is most likely you will have to adopt the role Head of Slytherin once he leaves us. During the school year you will remain at Hogwarts. If departing momentarily is your desire you maybe request my permission to do so. While at Hogwarts I will impart to you the knowledge of Occlumency as it will be imperitive in the future. Between academic years you will be required to attend intelligence and combat training with one of my operatives. You will live at Headquarters until the beginning of the new school year. I trust that you have means of attending to your ancestral home during your absence?"_

_"Yes, Headmaster."_

_"Excellent. Here is the address of the operative you are to report to him immediately. Do not forget Severus, you promised me anything and a promise that grand is limitless. Are there any questions?"_

_"Yes Headmaster. Might I voice it?"_

_"Of course."_

_"Who is the operative?"_

_The silence in the room was palpable. Dumbledore cleared his throat as he urged Snape to exit through his office door._

_"You will find out soon enough"_

_~O~_

_*Snape came timidly into a medium sized interrogation room that had been converted into an office. There were Wanted-Posters plastered all over the walls with scribbles of writing over them some had large red blotted lines slashed across them indicating that the person in said poster was either captured or deceased. Several of the posters he recognised as death-eaters and as he scanned the posters he eventually came to one of himself, scowling angrily back at him. Only one person would have a plethora of Death Eaters plastered all over their wall._

_Behind him the door flew open compelling him to duck and cover but he stood his ground. There was no point in hiding._

_"Hey Alastor ow's your Mad-eye?" laughed an aged wizard in the corridor, "Ugh it's so off putting!"_

_"Curse you Dedalus! Stop starin' at me eye or I'll throw yer in Azkaban, they got plenty more cells left!" came a growling voice. A man of solid build came strolling into the office; he walked with a slight limp and smelled of cigarettes and protective charms. He wore a dark beige trench coat that had seen better days with a tartan kilt sticking out from underneath it. The man's accent led Snape to believe he was Scottish and it only confirmed his suspicions that he was standing in Alastor Moody the Dark Wizard Catchers office. The very man who personally filled half the cells in Azkaban with fugitive Death Eaters, and who was outraged when Snape himself escaped conviction._

_"Bollocks." said Snape softly._

_"What?! Who said that?"_

_The figure froze and his back became rigid. Spinning around the man pushed Snape up against the poster coated wall._

_"Oh no you don't!"_

_A jagged wand was thrust up underneath his chin and a pair of mismatched eyes bore holes into him, one dark and transfixed while the other vibrated madly and roamed all over his body._

_"Think you could sneak in here and kill me did you? Guess you weren't quick enough. Who are you?! Answer me!"_

_"Severus Snape!"_

_The man spoke with such malice it sent shivers up Snape's spine. It was quite an achievement._

_"Ay, I recognise you now. You're on my wall," the man pointed at Snape's poster distastefully and pushed the wand deeper into Snape's neck, "it is unwise to be on my wall, let alone my office. What do you want? Who sent you? Answer me devil!"_

_"Albus Dumbledore sent me here to meet with an operat-"_

_The man clamped a hand over Snape's face efficiently silencing him._

_"Dumbledore?" said the man distrustfully, "So it's you then. Should have known. Considering Dumbledore was the one who got you off the hook as it were. Too slippery for justice, too precious for Azkaban and look at you, you're spineless! Stop shaking damn it."_

_The aggressor swiftly removed his wand from Snape's neck then just as quickly grabbed a fist full of his greasy hair and dragged him off the wall towards a large table with two steel chairs sitting either side of it. Snape cringed as he was forced into sitting. The man aimed his wand at him in warning and made his way around to the other side of the table._

_"I'll be the operative burdened with training you. Dumbledore thought it a amusing that I be tasked with training a reformed Death Eater. Codswallop I say! But I don't believe we have formally been introduced, name's Alastor Moody. But you'd not know me by the name would yer? No, you'd know me as the Dark Wizard Catcher. Caught a lot of yer little friends I have, killed a lot of them too. You see this?" he pointed at his magical eye with his free hand, "can thank your friend Rosier for this and he can thank me for an early grave."_

_"Rosier is no friend of mine." Snape snapped._

_Moody swung his wand back and forth like a metronome and froze it in Snape's direction at his rude outburst. Obviously the man was unimpressed by Snape's lack of allegiance to his fellow Death Eaters, loyalty was something he valued. His grip tightened and a snarl curled across his face, cocking an eyebrow for emphasis. All jest evaporated._

_"Please don't kill me sir I am not like the others."_

_"I'm not going to kill you Snape. No, dark wizards like you deserve worse, much worse, you deserve to suffer. See if it were up to me you'd be rotting in your own little cell in Azkaban with the rest of your little friends, crying for your mothers, begging for forgiveness and slowly going mad. Some wizards have spots that don't come off and you strike me as the type of wizard who can't even find the damn soap! Do you know what I mean?"_

_Snape did not know what he meant, the wizard was clearly insane. Moody fumbled around in his coat pocket until he found a thin manila folder. His electric blue eye was trained solely on Snape the entire time and it had no intentions on lowering its guard. The eye unnerved him; it felt as if it was looking right through him and judging him for his dark past. Moody cleared his throat and flipped it to the first page._

_"Severus Tobias Snape, twenty-two years old, born in Cokeworth, England, into a lower class mixed blood family. Pureblood mother, deceased, and muggle father, incarcerated, half English, half Irish and full blooded death eater. You came into the service of the Dark Lord at the age of 17, graduated in 1978 and have an aptitude for potions and spell casting. High candidate. Well then," Moody slammed the manila folder down on the table and pulled a small vial out of his pocket, "you see this little vial here? Three drops of this and Dumbledore himself would spill out his darkest secrets. Drink."_

_Snape picked up the vial of clear, water like fluid, he recognised instantly as Veritaserum, Moody was intending to interrogate him. This was unsurprising, after all the Dark Lord had passed Snape through several tests to prove his allegiance, taking Veritaserum was one of them and it was merely a precaution to prove sincerity. Snape was nothing but sincere at this point. Uncorking the vial Snape took a sip small that should last at least an hour._

_"From now on the wizard you knew and were is dead. You are property of the Order of the Phoenix. I'll assume Dumbledore has told you all about the Order. Are you prepared to do whatever the Order instructs in order to complete your training? I will not stand wasting my retirement on you!"_

_"Yes." He answered immediately. The potion was taking effect._

_"Can you keep your head when confronted with mind blowing madness at every turn?"_

_"Obviously"_

_"Don't get smart-mouthed with me unless you want the back of my hand and a wand in your face! Tell me, do you swear your allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix and to serve until your last dying breath?"_

_"Yes, I swear my allegiance."_

_"And acknowledge that under the unfavourable circumstances that you betray us you should be hunted down and eliminated for your treachery? No second chances for you Snape."_

_"Yes, no second chances for me."_

_Moody with a great gesture of his hand urged Snape to stand before him. Snape felt a small tingle spiral through his body from the Veritaserum binding him to his promises validating his sincerity._

_"When I am through with you, you will be a part of a secret agency that has been thanklessly vanquishing evil from the Wizarding world since you were suckling on yer mother's teat. Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix Severus Snape."_

_Almost regrettably Moody extended a bold hand out to Snape. Hesitantly Snape took the other man's hand in a firm hand shake. It was rough and callus, most likely from years of working with his hands outside. It was more than likely that Moody on more than one occasion would have had to undergo stake-outs in order to catch a fugitive. And he struck Snape as the kind of wizard to revel in shitting in a hole and lying in mud under prickled shrubs in order to apprehend a B grade offender._

_"So . . . are you sure you're ready for anything?"_

_Moody had a mischievous glint in his eye and his grip tightened, Snape was apprehensive to answer. The wizard was obviously a lunatic. But the question was broad and in all fairness Snape was ready. He was ready for anything he could do to make up for his horrible actions and redeem himself, for Lily._

_"Ye-"_

_"WRONG!"_

_A bright ball of harsh blue light erupted from Moody's wand and hit Snape square in the chest, ripping his hand from Moody's and sending him flying across the room. Snape hit the wall with a terrible thud and all the wind was knocked out of him. As he lay recovering on the carpeted floor he could hear laughter coming from outside of the room. His chest ached and vibrated painfully, he felt the urge vomit and soil himself but he tried his hardest to keep himself together. Moody's comrades must have found his peril hilarious because a few of them were now hanging in the door way, watching with open curiosity. Moody came around and stood in front of Snape with a satisfied look on his face and his magic eye spun manically around in circles. He did not offer a hand of assistance._

_"Lesson number one – Trust no one! In the eyes of the enemy you can't afford distractions! Now get up before you piss all over my floor. We have a lot of work to do."_

~O~

Present.

Cradling memories and digging up the past would constitute as a distraction in the eyes of that lunatic Mad-eye Moody. Snape had stayed up all night meticulously taking out and reorganising every item in the box and resisting the urge to read the letters. It would be too damaging for Snape to relive his imaginary relationship with Lily. Touching the forgotten relics was enough to make it real. And it had been real, she had loved him once, just not to the extent he had wished she had.

"Can't afford distractions."

Snape had contemplated watching a few memories he had extracted on Dumbledore's orders as a precaution. Not in the event of the invasion of his mind, for Snape had grown to be a powerful Occlumens, but more for his own sanity. Snape spent many nights on the basement floor at Headquarters because he was too busy lamenting to detect Moody's surprise attacks. One evening Moody had become so infuriated with Snape's moaning he used the cruciatus curse to drill some common sense into him. Snape's emotional outbursts were seen as unreasonable and unresolvable, he refused to share what the problem was and abused any of the other Order members who asked what was wrong. He became unpopular very quickly, not that he was favourable in the first place. In the end Dumbledore had intervened and taught Snape how to remove memories, for everyone's sanities. Snape eventually educated himself in detaching from his emotions completely and it had saved him on more than one occasion.

Learning under two powerful wizards like Dumbledore and Moody in any other circumstance would have been a great honour. It wasn't that Snape was not grateful for the knowledge he has gained from both of them but they were both assholes, especially when they were together. However it was the knowledge he learnt that kept him going. Ultimately he was dedicating his life to saving Lily's son but knowledge was the one indulgence he revelled in, he hated ignorance. The life he led made him much wiser. When he looked back on his younger self all he could feel was embarrassment and shame, if he could get his hand on a time turner he would not think twice about going back and smacking the day lights out of himself.

Moody and Dumbledore would never allow him near a time turner.

Even though it would solve everything!

It was an idea he had contrived once he read about the invention by chance in Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster had been trying to obtain one for a student who was enrolled in too many subjects and could not possibly attend them all by traditional means. Snape had genuinely snapped the day he found the order form from the Ministry. Here Dumbledore had the means to end all the suffering and regain the lost lives, yet he did not act on it but was willing to order one for a trivial matter. Snape was even willing to sacrifice his life going back in time and murdering Tom Riddle regardless of Riddle's infancy but the idea was rejected for Snape's intentions were unnatural and dangerous. The time turner remained another burning alternative.

Another obsession. Another distraction. Another memory in a vial

The morning sunlight miraculously began to shine through a vanishing window that would occasionally appear on his wall. It belonged on the fifth floor but was charmed to appear in the dungeons on occasion to allow natural light in. Today its noble task was not appreciated, he much preferred the underwater views the dungeon offered. Snape squinted angrily and clutched a memory vial lightly in his dexterous fingers. It was a memory from his childhood when he first saw Lily, an event that would spiral him into a life long fatal attraction.

"Bollocks to this."

Snape chose not to watch the memory. Or look at anything in the box anymore, the familiar stab in his heart unnerved him

~O~

Many inhabitants of Hogwarts castle had found sleep elusive. Those in Gryffindor tower sat up all night buzzing from the Quidditch victory aftermath and gossip about two certain sixth years and their illicit behaviour. Those who woke up early with mouths sour from the night of drinking butter beer wandered down to the common room and had the pleasure of seeing Lavender Brown sleeping at the bottom of the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory in her school robes, face sticky with tear run make up. Hermione and Luna were two of those fortunate enough to see the girl arched painfully against the cobblestone pillars yet the sight deterred neither of them.

The girls were joined by Harry who informed them that Ron was refusing to come down to breakfast but would meet them in Hogsmeade. Harry had also nonchalantly invited Luna to Hogsmeade so that they may find something appropriate to wear to Slughorn's party. Hermione found this invitation odd, as Harry never seemed the one to favour shopping as a favourite pastime but judging by the look he was giving Luna he seemed incredibly sincere with his request. It humbled Hermione to see Harry interested in someone other than Ginny. As much as she would have liked them together it was depressing seeing Harry pine for her while she was clearly smitten with Dean.

And any reason to distract Harry from his Advanced Potion Making book and his ridiculous obsession with Malfoy was a good reason indeed.

At the invitation to join them Hermione declined. She already had plans to spend the entire day in the library studying and today's topic was Severus Snape. Luna's words regarding their Professor and Hermione's infatuation had haunting her sleep. Barely sleeping a wink and turning in agitation, much to Crookshanks annoyance, Hermione had very little rest. In the end she decided that her obsession was with the unknown and unexplained rather that with the Professor himself. Hermione admitted that she knew virtually nothing about Snape and that her growing emotional attachment was unreasonable. What she knew about Snape was founded on evidence acquired through gossip, opinions (all terribly bad) and firsthand experience. Not to mention her inkling to see the good in everyone. Perhaps once she found some background information on the enigmatic man her fantasy of him as the underdog would be justified or diminished. The first place she planned to search was the student archives he was after all a student of Hogwarts just like her.

One thing was abundantly certain though.

Hermione Granger did NOT fancy Snape

She was merely insanely fascinated.

The library was quiet. Deliciously quiet. A quiescent library was the perfect after breakfast indulgence on a weekend. After all who would dare be caught in a library on the weekend? Madam Pince greeted Hermione with a curt nod, a little annoyed that a student had actually turned up to invade her solitude but relieved to find it was only Hermione, she was after all, as serious towards library etiquette as she was.

"Hello Madam Pince how are we today."

"Fine Miss Granger, and yourself?"

"Pleasant. I'd like to request some student records please."

To Hermione's knowledge Snape was a student at Hogwarts with Remus, Sirius and Harry's parents. That made him around thirty six or thirty seven. So he would have been at Hogwarts between 1971 and 1978. Hermione considered how aged Snape looked for a man in his late thirties. Wizards between their twenties and forties were basically adolescences by wizarding standards but by that logic it would make her an infant. The fact that she was trying to justify their age difference was enough to shake herself into the task at hand.

_Stop thinking this way! This is purely for research purposes. Know thy enemy._

"The student records Miss Granger? Those are usually kept in the Head Masters Office"

"I know Madam but I require them for academic purposes. I only need Hogwarts 1970 to 1990 and Hogwarts 1870 to 1890."

"For what purpose?"

She had considered this. It was very uncommon for students to request student records, it was not necessary in any year curriculums. But thankfully Hermione's bookishness and overachieving persuasions came in handy. It would be believable for her to convince others that she needed them for research purposes without arousing suspicion. It worked for a majority of the mischief Hermione and the boys had gotten themselves into over the years and Madam Pince was still none the wiser.

"It is for an extracurricular research project for History of Magic. I am doing a comparison between Muggleborn witches and wizards of their progression of skill and academic excellence over a century."

It was only a little lie. In fact that would be a rather interesting study.

"Very engaging Miss Granger but I highly doubt you are in need of an extracurricular research project. Are you not in your sixth year?"

"Yes Madam."

"Over achiever if I ever saw one. You may borrow them but they are not to leave the library with them. I am serious, return them before you depart."

"Of course Madam"

Their banter was usually playful but the older woman's humour always had a slight bite to it. Madam Pince waved her wand, muttered an incantation and two large volumes could be heard careening from somewhere in the library towards them. One quite old and moth eaten, the other not as old but its spine was wrinkled, suggesting it was a well referenced record. They both smelled richly of floo powder perhaps Madam Pince had somehow commanded them through the fireplace from Dumbledore's office, how interesting. Perhaps she could apply that to her own books, it was save her lagging them around or precariously hovering them around the school.

"Thank you Madam"

Taking either book in hand and signing them off with a flourish of quill Hermione made her way over to 'her' secret alcove. It neither belonged to her nor was secret in anyway but she was the only one to have ever occupied it as it was out of the way between two narrow aisles. It has the softest cushions she had ever sat on. They were stuffed with down feathers from owl's, she found out from Dobby that they collect the fallen feathers from the Owlery. It was exceedingly resourceful and comfortable.

Once seated Hermione discarded the older tome beside her and hastily opened _Hogwarts Student Records 19_70 – 1990. Her finger moved sporadically down the index page for the graduating class of 1978.

"Ok, 1978 graduating class, page 394 . . . ."

Carefully Hermione plucked her way through the record, attentive to the fragile pages and calming herself not to search too hastily. Hermione always got a little jittery when conducting new assignments or researching new topics regardless what it was. She had an impudent hunger for knowledge and was a little impatient at times. But once she found what she was looking for she would submerge herself. Obsessing over details and over analysing and reanalysing everything until she was satisfied, in hindsight she always found it necessary otherwise she might miss some important information.

Landing on the page Hermione scrolled down the list of graduates. The list of names had their overall N.E.W.T scores and a small picture no larger than one centimetre squared next to them. One simply had to enlarge the selected person's information by tapping their wand on the image. It was an ingenious way of conserving space. Hogwarts did graduate a large amount of students every year.

The black and white image of Sirius Black caught her eye straight away and Hermione enlarged his picture. He was quite attractive when he was younger and he smiled suggestively at her. Hermione was surprised to see that the pictures where actually portraits but when she looked closer she could see that these portraits lacked certain traits that the larger ones around the school did. For one, these portraits could not talk, Sirius was shouting all manner of things at her which she could not understand, until he gestured to his chest. Just as well he could not talk, he was quite vulgar.

Rolling her eyes Hermione shrunk his image and continued to scroll down the list. The images also seemed unable to leave the page. It was quite sad, they must get lonely but then Hermione figured they become animated once you enlarge the image. She found this after a few enlarging and shrinking turns on Harry's mother, who did not seem impressed. Hermione skipped past Remus, Harry's dad, blanched openly at Peter Pettigrew's name in disgust and kept scrolling until she found the man she was looking for.

_Severus Tobias Snape_

"Tobias?" she whispered incredulously.

Normal she would not mutter to herself in the library. It was a nasty habit she did not favour in anyone. It was distracting but the middle name had struck her as odd.

_What had you expected it to be? Salazar? Septimus? Satan? Don't be silly_.

Looking up she saw Madam Pince looking strangely at her from behind a shelf, she was placing some books back by hand. Apologising silently Hermione turned back to the page and tapped her wand thrice on his name. It expanded to encompass the entire page. Ink spiralling to form text and pictures, pushing the list of graduates to the edges of the page, the graduate picture caught her breath. A very annoyed young man stared back and it felt oddly personal. Hermione blushed.

Seventh year Snape looked very tired and angst ridden. His hair was very long, down past his shoulders and held an oily texture that was present today. It was slick against his face and every now and then he would try and flick it agitatedly away from him. Hermione had figured it was because of working in a potion environment but perhaps its greasiness was genetic. Snape was pallid looking and had a very thin and angular face; in fact he looked very gaunt, despite wearing his bulky graduate robes. She figured he would of received a lot of bullying at Hogwarts because of his appearance, Hermione was more than understanding, she herself had been on the receiving end of countless bullying about her hair and teeth but at least she had tried to improve herself.

"Hello Professor" she whispered and he replied with a raised eyebrow.

Now she felt crazy saying hello to her teenage Professor. Severus. That was his name after all, he was not a Professor in the picture. Ignoring the black eyes that followed her with growing interest she began to read his graduate details. Snape scored top grade scores in all of his N.E.W.T's, was commended for his outstanding Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, and Charms knowledge and application. Was briefly in the Slytherin Quidditch team, the Gobblestone Team which was disbanded the year he joined and the Slug club.

_The Slug club?!_

Hermione had the common sense to no longer voice her opinions. It was unwise to draw the attention of Madam Pince again. A student taking an interest in a teacher of this depth would be very inappropriate. The fact that Snape had and was in the Slug Club was alarming although it would make sense Slughorn had been a teacher here prior and his tenure was around the time Snape was achieving Outstanding's and Exceeds Expectations. More than likely Slughorn would have seen potential in Snape. At the bottom of the information there was a formal graduate spiel congratulating Snape on his graduation from Hogwarts.

_I hereby congratulate Severus Tobias Snape, son of Tobias Snape and Eileen Snape, for the completion of his studies and deem him an official graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. May he forever feel welcome through these halls like a brother. May he forever walk through this life as our friend._

_Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus_

Underneath the message the Headmaster had signed his full name as had Snape. Hermione read the script again and once more after that for measure. Waving her wand Hermione tried to reveal any more hidden information and was rewarded with a titbit she had not anticipated. It was a short background on Snape's blood purity.

_Blood Status: Half-blood, Father Muggle, Mother Pureblood Witch._

It took all self-control not to blurt out her complete and utter shock.

_His father was a muggle?!_

Hermione had always pictured Snape as a Pureblood, mainly because he was a Slytherin and walked around with a sense of self importance and piety. Not to mention he was a Death Eater and Head of Slytherin surely they would have had a problem with him being half-blood and having a muggle father. Had he grown up like a muggle? Where were his parents now? Why was he always so unsympathetic whenever Malfoy had called her a Mudblood? Now she just felt angry. A dark shadow covered the book, interrupting her onslaught of unanswered questions.

"That's one hideous woman you're looking at Granger."

McLaggen's voice cut through Hermione like a finely sharpened razor blade. In surprise she retorted on impulse and slammed the book shut.

"He is not a woman," and pulled the book towards her, "but he is not as hideous as the boy interrupting me." She said snidely.

Hermione was going to take her new found anger out on McLaggen, his timing was almost too perfect.

"Come now Granger, you can't possibly be talking about me. I know fancy me."

"Sod off McLaggen can't you see I am studying?" Hermione held the book to her chest protectively, "Don't you know that Madam Pince has a strict no talking policy?"

As if on cue, the elderly woman poked her head around the corner and scowled at them.

"Shh! Be quiet!"

McLaggen ignored the librarian and instead occupied the seat next to Hermione in the aisle alcove. Hermione shuffled to get away from him but budged against the pile of books she had placed there.

"How did you know I was here?"

"It was obvious Granger, now look, it's not that I don't like this back and forth we have going. On the contrary, I find it quite stimulating, but I need to finalize our date for Slughorn's party."

"Oh it has already been finalized." She rolled her eyes, leaning into the pile of books.

"Good because I am getting a little tired of turning these other girls down. I know I'm a heartbreaker but I'm not a monster. Can't keep leading them on when you've already sunk your claws into me. It would be unfair to all of you. Not letting go are you can't say I blame-"

"Let's get one thing straight," started Hermione, "when I said 'it has already been finalized' I meant my rejection was finalized. I do not fancy you, you are one of the most boring and repulsive boys I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. Your constant badgering is nothing but an annoyance and I have no desire to go on a date with you ever! So you may as well do yourself a favour and accept another girl's proposal because I am not going with you. And the only claws I'll have sinking into your skin will be my cat's if you don't leave me alone!"

McLaggen paused, clearly confused with her aggression, he was completely heart set on their date and this, 'this' whatever this was, was quickly becoming an inconvenience for him. Hermione sat in fuming anticipation as she heard the cogs working overtime in his thick head. Finally words found him.

"So what you're not going with me?" asked McLaggen, "Has someone else asked you?"

His eyes darkened and he grabbed her arm, his grip was strong and pincer like. The action had caught Hermione by surprise, so surprised that she felt unable to move. Madam Pince popped her head around the corner and shot the boy another dark look which he completely ignored.

"If someone else has asked you you'll have to tell them no. You are going with me to the dance and that is final."

Hermione found herself, withdrew her arm from his grip and whispered harshly, "For your information I am not going with you OR anyone! I should not have to I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself."

McLaggen seemed oblivious to the memo that Hermione harboured a deep disliking for him. But clearly he had misinterpreted her lack of suitor as a green light and he released her arm and shone an award winning smile. In his mind there was still a chance.

"I bet you have no problem entertaining yourself," winked McLaggen, "but two is better than one wouldn't you say?"

A masculine hand hovered precariously close to Hermione's thigh, much too close for comfort. A snarl adorned Hermione's face as she reached for her wand. This interruption had gone on for long enough. . .

"Come on Granger, I know you like me. I know you do and I like you too. Shouldn't that be enough? I mean I REALLY like you!"

"Mr McLaggen!"

Madam Pince cleared her throat and the two found her towering over both of them with blue bloody murder written on her face. She did not muck around when it came to a silent library and she would tolerate a hormonal adolescent boy no longer.

"I have told you twice now to be quiet and you have continued to disregard my warnings. You are barred from the library for two weeks. Take yourself elsewhere! Go, get!"

Madam Pince dismissed him as if he was an irksome fly. McLaggen sent Hermione one last smouldering look before passing the librarian dejectedly and walking out of the library. The two women embraced the silence. Hermione silently thanked the librarian and turned back to her research. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the woman give her a worrisome look as she turned the corner into the reception.

Hermione opened the book in her lap under the desk to Snape's page and the image of him stared back at her in mixed confusion and curiosity. It felt strange for her to have an image of Professor Snape sitting on her lap even if it was an age appropriate Snape. So she decided it would be wise to have a break and study Arithmancy instead.

She had quite enough of boys for the moment.

~O~

Snape was stuck between a rock and a really bad place, and the only thing that could relieve him from said predicament was Dumbledore, who he had no desire to see.

Never would Snape forgive him for the stunt he pulled with the other Head's of House.

Not moments ago he had decided to spend the day in Hogsmeade stocking up on some more alcohol when McGonagall's head had invaded the sanctity of his private quarters through the Floo Network.

_"Come to the Headmaster's office at once we have matters to discuss!"_

Snape had no desire to discuss anything, especially with two jacked up Gryffindor's and an up-tight Head of House. He would be a snake in a lion den and he knew the outcome of that battle.

Unless he was a basilisk in the equation, then he would dominate.

The two children were staring daggers at him while he occupied a rather comfortable arm chair against the wall. It was such a shame physical discipline was medieval, some people simply needed a good smack to come to their senses, some a little harder than others. What he wouldn't give to be able to smack the malice right off their impudent faces.

"Thank you for coming Professor Snape. While we wait for the Headmaster," began McGonagall, "let me just say how disappointed I am in the both of you! Consider yourselves lucky I was not the one to discover you I have no tolerance for indecency! Under what circumstances did you think it was appropriate to engage in such illicit behaviour? I can only imagine the shock you must have caused Professor Snape when he stumbled upon your little 'celebration'. I expect better from you Mr Weasley and Miss Brown you should show a little more self-respect than that. Boys do not take those who give it freely home to their mothers."

Snape wanted to slap a hand to his face, this was so painful and it was so unnecessary for him to be here. If he never allowed himself to give into his more primal instincts then why should he have to openly discuss that of two teenagers? Snape had committed himself to a life of celibacy. After all how could he be with another woman when the only woman he ever wanted was six feet under? In his mind it would be wrong, no better than cheating and definitely not worth the experience. Not that any other woman had tried to be with him. Sexual intimacy was one of the pleasures he actively denied himself, and forbid masturbation. It was degrading and pathetic, and easily rectified with a vial of _Flaccidum_.

"We will be discussing your punishment with the Headmaster."

Ron spoke first.

"Snape had already given us a month's detention AND taken one hundred points each, we were only kissing!"

"Only kissing?! Are you suggesting that the Professor was lying? Are you prepared to have your memory observed to prove that Mr Weasley?"

Now red faced, Ron quietened down next to Lavender who was trying to hold his hand supportively. The girl seemed an utter wreck, her face was all puffy and the paint she wore on her face was smeared all over resembling something very similar to an overpriced Knockturn Alley escort. It seemed more than appropriate. Miss Brown was brave (or stupid) enough to shoot Snape a scathing look; he returned it with gusto, more than eager to deliver this girl a scaring of a life time.

He was not disappointed.

McGonagall paced around the room impatiently and waited for Ron's reply but soon realised he had no intentions of her seeing any of _his_memories.

"Thank goodness because I have only just had my breakfast. Keep your hands to yourself you silly girl, that is no way to behave considering the circumstances. The Headmaster should not have to start the day with hand holding and knee rubbing!"

A clearing of a throat caught their attention. Dumbledore immerged from the joining room, looking weary and less than happy. He indicated for those standing to sit and for everyone to take residence around his table. Not at all in the mood for frivolities he neglected to offer lemon drops and it brought a unified sense of alarm.

"Good day Professor's. Mr Weasley and Miss Brown it has come to my attention that the two of you were caught by Professor Snape engaging in inappropriate conduct in an abandoned classroom last night. Do you have anything you wish to add or was this incident completely fabricated?"

Snape was stone faced. Was Dumbledore actually suggesting that this whole mishap was a fabrication most likely orchestrated by himself in order to rob a few Gryffindor's some house points? Gryffindor's provided themselves with reasons to deduct points all on their own, Snape had no need to fabricate anything. Besides, he would be much more subtle than suggesting he caught a student performing fellatio on another. That was just disturbing.

_Have some bloody common sense._

"Ron-Ron did not do ANYTHING wrong Headmaster", cried Miss Brown, "we were only sharing our love for one another when Professor Snape barged in and started accusing me of being a h-harlot and other nasty things, and he called Ron-Ron names as well. My poor Ron-Ron tried to defend my honour but the Professor was extremely vulgar It's not my fault that Professor Snape is jealous of the strong connect Ron-Ron and I have with each other. He has probably never loved anyone and I doubt anyone has ever loved him!"

"Miss Brown!"

"Lavender!"

Snape did not give the impression that he was affected by her outburst and folded his arms in mild irritation. Naturally they would expect him to him annoyed, he always was but the fact that he was personally offended by her words was something he did not wish to advertise.

"You will apologise to Professor Snape this instant!"

"No I won't he was mean to me!"

He would not accept an apology if it was freely given, they were pointless and the damage was done.

"What? Have you the audacity to speak to your Professor that way and not apologise?"

"Lavender just apologise!"

Love. Always had a way of ruining his day.

"Shh Ron-Ron. . ."

Snape had enough. The insinuation that no one had ever loved him and that he was incapable of love could not have come at a more inappropriate time. He could see Dumbledore silently studying him underneath his furrowed eyebrows. The incessant noise of the shouting trio seemed to turn to muffled static. He felt detached from the situation, someone looking in and watching and he wished he wasn't, he wished he was back in his quarters riffling through his possessions and never leaving his room again. He did not want to do any of this anymore. Teaching, spying, lying, it seemed so pointless now.

It had always been pointless.

Dumbledore was still staring at him, as were the others. They had stopped shouting.

"Severus?" asked McGongall firmly, "Miss Brown would like to apologise for her rash words, she did not mean a word of it."

"I'm sorry" said Lavender grudgingly, crossing her arms.

Snape did not acknowledge any of them but his frown increased its severity.

The Headmaster knotted his fingers and released a long sigh. "Yes well it seems to me that the punishment is well deserved regardless of what actually occurred Minerva. I will not return any of the points taken and Mr Weasley and Miss Brown are to report to Mr Filch tonight at six to start their detention. You are all dismissed."

"But Headmaster-"

"You are all, dismissed."

Dumbledore's last words were final. Ron was the first out the door with Lavender quickly nipping at his heels. McGonagall went to leave but hesitated, a stern look from the Headmaster saw that she made a quick exit behind her troublesome cubs.

"Well, that was enlightening"

Snape heard the door click shut and was brought back to reality. He looked up to see the Headmaster gathering a few items from his desk and placing them in a small emerald coloured sack. The older wizard's hand was trembling with age while his decayed hand tried to appear useful by allowing the thread binding the sack to rest between his fingers. Above Dumbledore the previous Headmasters watched in interest at the events unfolding and quietly gossiped to one another, they chattered in hushed murmurs."

"Severus I will be going away for a few days, back late Wednesday evening."

Dumbledore was intent on ignoring what had transpired, he had no desire to console Severus when he had his own problems to attend to. Snape was relieved that Dumbledore was as uncaring as he was, the last thing he wanted was sympathy.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Dumbledore stood from his chair and walked over to a large oak cabinet to retrieve a few items, one Snape recognised as his deluminator. He heard the faint pull of hair as the Headmaster stroked his beard, contemplating whether to allow Snape the information.

"Nurmengard." Dumbledore offered off-handily.

Snape was surprised that Dumbledore relinquished that information so freely, he must of thought it not very importation. Although Nurmengard was quite an unsual place to be venturing at this time of year, if at all and the only reason Snape could fathom Dumbledore's visit was to see Grindelwald. He was the only wizard Dumbledore knew there to Snape's knowledge, he was unaware they were on speaking terms. This could hardly be a social visit.

"Has this something to do with Potter?" Snape found himself asking.

"No, for once my leave is for personal reason. My impending death has left me little time to think about what I wish to achieve. There is one thing I must resolve that lays heavily on my soul and it lies in a cell in Nurmengard. When one knowingly faces death Severus, one must be completely free of regret; it is the only way to give yourself to death completely and accept your fate. I will be bypassing the Hogshead on the journey back. Do see yourself out."

Dumbledore raised his arms above his head and from the joining room Fawkes came careering towards him. Snape flinched as Fawkes intercepted Dumbledore's raised hands and they both disappeared in a burst of flame. There were other means in which the Headmaster's of Hogwarts were able to leave the castle but Dumbledore was always fond of the most dramatic.

"I thought we all agreed he was not to go?"

"Obviously he had other plans"

"Nothing good can come from this!"

A noisy debate broke out amongst the portraits and Snape took the opportunity to leave. His spirits heightened considerably. With Dumbledore gone he could make a quick trip to Hogsmeade without consequence and collect a few bottles of firewhiskey to drown his sorrows once again. Except this time he would be more vigilant. If he was stealthy enough no one would be the wiser, it was not as if anyone noticed him in the first place. Silently he rose and made his way down the spiral stair case, careful not to raise the attention of the Headmasters. The last thing he wanted to be subjected to was ancient wizards gossiping.

~O~

Hermione had lost track of time. It was not until she started drooling on her forearm that she realised that she was drifting off to sleep on top of her Arithmancy spread sheet. Leaning back into an over arm stretch she felt something dig into her side. Pulling out the offending item it was the _Hogwarts Student Record 1970 – 1990_, she smiled softly to herself and decided to have one last look before returning the books and heading to the Great Hall for lunch.

The book opened to the page she was looking for funnily enough. Enlarging his picture the dark haired boy stared back at her in annoyance and crossed his arms. Hermione was unaffected by his cold behaviour after all he was only a fraction of the authority Professor Snape lorded over people and not nearly as intimidating.

Mouthing goodbye she closed the text and caught a glimpse of the boy's mouth move in protest. When Madam Pince took the books from her she gave them the one over and asked Hermione if the texts were influential in her research assignment. Hermione agreed, perhaps she may need them again for more information. Signing the books off Hermione bid Madam Pince good bye and made her way out into the corridor.

_Food, then bed._ She thought, _and perhaps this time I can actually get some sleep_

Thoughts of Professor Snape were eluding her and she felt a need to take advantage of it.

~O~

Snape's newly found optimism fell quickly once outside the Headmasters office, despite the corridor being empty of rambunctious children, the girls words were twisting knives into his stomach and he felt unsettled. Judging by the time, the students were most likely at lunch in the Great Hall and it was the perfect opportunity to sneak out onto the grounds and make his way to Hogsmeade or perhaps even Diagon Alley if he so desired.

Instead he found himself standing on a ledge in a nook archway peering out over the grounds. There was a storm brewing in the distance and it was possible they would endure it later in the night. Snape did not care for rain. For one, it was wet and an utter inconvenience, two it was inconsolable, if you wanted the Heaven's to stop crying you had to wait and lastly it was sad and depressing, it completely surrounded you, filled the senses and left you weary. But a storm, he mused, was completely different. Although rain was a factor it was not depressing or sad, it was angry and defiant. Thunder would crack and lightning would flash, bleeding light through the sky. It was vengeful and instilled fear and dread. Snape revelled in it. Not to mention lightning was incredibly valuable and hard to obtain, he gave any opportunity he could to retrieve it. Many dark potions required lightning, it was very potent.

Looking down, he saw the court yard, he was considerably high up where he stood and if he were to fall he would sustain a terrible injury. But if he landed on his neck he would be guaranteed death. Contemplating throwing himself off the Hogwarts Battlements or High Towers had crossed his mind more times than he could count. One night he had actually attempted it. He was incredibly drunk and the school year had not started yet, it had been five years since the anniversary of Lily's death and he decided to drink himself into oblivion. Instead he became belligerent and started running around the castle blindly until he found himself at the top of one of the towers. It had been raining, was freezing cold and with a running start he propelled himself off the tower, plummeting to his death.

But death had not greeted him.

Instead half way down the side of the castle he came to his senses and willed his body to separate. Sure enough his body became a levitating ball of mist merely metres from impaling on the battlement spikes. Dark mist was a handy trick that the Dark Lord had taught him, it converted his body into a gas in order to take flight without a broom or charm, it was dark magic and it was ingrained into your very being. So on impulse his body had transformed in order to escape death. He had felt like a coward. Too cowardly to keep living and too cowardly to actually die.

Snape still felt like a coward no matter how hard he tried to convince himself and others he wasn't.

Perhaps he should give jumping another try. Grasping the stone archway Snape leaned forward over the ledge and imagined he was actually considering ending it all. Today. It could all end today.

"Professor?"

But he knew it wouldn't.

"Professor?!"

Not today, not for a while.

"Professor Snape, stop!"

No, Snape wasn't a coward.

A tentative hand curled around his arm jerking him back to reality. The corridor had been unoccupied and everyone was in the Great Hall. Who on earth had the audacity to actually grab him! He had let his guard down. He never let his guard down. What was wrong with him?

"You are going to fall if you are not careful," came a bossy voice.

Tilting his head to the side and looking behind him he saw a familiar bush of hazelnut hair. Hermione Granger stared back at him with so much emotion and genuine concern that it almost made him careen over the ledge in confusion. Those were looks others held for their friends and family, not hated Professor's. He stood his ground with a stony disposition. The girls hand was petite and youthful and sent a powerful heat through his arm that stretched down to his fingertips. No one ever touched him, he did not allow it and the fact that the girl was insane enough to grab his arm had blown a fuse in his brain. Forgetting himself all he could do was stare.

"Are you alright Sir?" asked the girl.

Snape felt his arm flex involuntarily under her grip and she flinched. Perhaps she was realising the severity of her actions, her brown was still pinched tightly in a worrisome frown and her eyes were sad and pleading.

"Once again Miss Granger," he found his voice, "your timing is impeccable. An opportunity to take my life presents itself and you fail to follow through with it."

"Professor-"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor and believe me when I say your concern is neither appreciated nor wanted. How many times must I tell you to go away before you disappear, permanently?"

The girl's face turned a light pink.

"I wasn't - you never said to - I was just trying to -"

"Miss Know-It-All does not know what to say? Pity."

"S-Shut up! You are so cruel!"

"Cruel?"

Towering over her he placed a hand over her own and held it to him in a vice grip. Leaning in close he could see whatever sympathy she held for him disappear and was replaced with fear and loathing. As it should be.

"In case it has escaped your notice Miss Granger life is cruel and until you learn that you will be destined to fail."

Hermione stared at him for a moment, unwilling to say another word. Wether she was considering his words or petrified to move was unknown to Snape but he was seriously considering throwing her over the balcony. The idea flashed briefly in his mind but then watching her scrub cauldrons for hours on end seemed more promising. Surely Horace had some he could borrow. . .

"Detention. Tomorrow at six."

The chatter of students could be heard making a mass exodus out of the Great Hall, the sound was bounding through the corridors towards them and it heightened their senses. Snape was more than unwilling to be caught in such a compromising position he released her and with a dramatic swirl he made his way in the opposite direction of the student chaos ascending the stairs to the ground floor. He felt heavy eyes watching him as he made a swift exit and he hoped that she would not be foolish enough to follow.

~~oOo~~

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to leave a comment!**

**Notes:**

*****scene is inspired by Brock Sampson meeting col. Gathers from The Venture Bros watch?v=ZsyRcJkt2UU - I had an insane amount of fun writing this scene Moody and Snape yes please. That is a recipe for chaos.


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